Long distance relationships....what do you think????????

Question

Iv been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and the entire time its been a long distance relationship, we`ve only spent about 2months together in the whole time. He loves me dearly and wants a future together and has been making plans to relocate to where i live now, for me and for work,but is still not sure exactly when he`ll be here. Thing is, in the time we`ve been together, iv grown to love him, BUT, the waiting game has me considering other options and iv recently met someone who im really attracted to,and is absolutely amazing. we get along great, but as they say the grass isnt always greener on the other side,coz i dont have the security with him as i do with my boyfrend.....Any advise???????????

Answer 1

LDR's don't work missbird, believe me! I've been in one for over a year & just now having to accept it's not gonna work.I've ignored all advice from family & friends & went ahead.My gf is out of contact for over a week now.I've absolutley no idea what shes's up to.
It's got to the stage where i'm pining for when she comes back which is like almost 3 months in total we've spent together.It so crazy that my life is on permanent hold just for her.My life is passing me by.The waiting game has - like yourself- got me thinking of other options.I recently met a really nice girl - not like my gf shes a 1-off - but someone i connected with.She doesn't live too far way either.This girl is real, like 20 minutes away from me, can go out with me when she can & isn't a "ghost" - like my gf.
My older married sis says the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side.Stick with who you know & with someone closer to home.I've just realized she could be right.LDR's are fine in theory when you're in love at the start but sometimes the problems outweigh all else.Good luck anyways!

Answer 2

Having had a long distance relationship with my ex for 5 years, I can tell you its difficult, I think if things don't move fairly quickly within say a year of making plans to move together, its probably best to forget it and move onto someone closer. I spent the whole 5 years putting myself, my career and everything on hold just to get up and see him more often, he was always undecided, one minute he wanted me to move in, then he would change his mind, then he would again, I was up and down emotionally, to the point where we split last September. It literally made me ill. I think if you are crazy about eachother you will move in pretty quickly regardless of the distance, if that is what you or he wants. I am still good friends with my ex, we miss eachother a lot, and its painful, but my advise is go for the chap thats nearer, or make a statement to this other fella as to where you stand in the long term with this relationship. I aim to find someone nearer, never again I can tell ya LOL! Not only that it puts a great strain on your family if you have to move away, and his if he moves away. Its a comittment that you have to be 100 per cent sure of first. At least I can rest in my own piece of mind now, rather that be emotionally tortured, its just not worth it really. Esp if you don't know where you stand and there isnt nothing up ahead.

Answer 3

Maybe you and your boyfriend could mutually decide to break it off until he gets closer to you. It would be better on both of you if you took a break to see what else is out there before he commits to this move and then he or you decides that it wasn't for the best after all. I had a 3 1/2 year relationship long distance and even though we both had the same plans, we discovered the last time we saw each other, that we had grown apart.

Answer 4

Before your boyfriend makes any serious moves to relocate, it would be best to tell him that you feel this move should be postponed until you two get to know one another more. You have only spent at the most is 2 months together and that is not enough time to make major decisions on your relationship. Once this is said and you both agree, then you two have to make an effort to see one another more, to give yourselves the chance to get reacquainted. Only through time will you both know for sure if this is what you want and then decisions for a future together can be talked about. My best to you both.

Answer 5

Hon, I think you need to look within yourself for your answer. If your heart is looking at another guy then it's not fair to you or him to keep this relationshiop going as it is. If after you take some time apart to see other people you guys find your way back to each other, then it was definitely meant to be. But if on the other hand you find true love with another then you made the right decision. Also, you may not be ready for a "serious" relationship. Would it bother you to know if your boyfriend is seeing another girl? It shouldn't if you're seeing another guy. Best of luck to the two of you.

Answer 6

Well I found that it was difficult to live a 'normal' life, often whiling away the hours thinking about when I would be seeing her again and if Im honest wishing away the time. She lived in another country and we got engaged I saw her for about five years. Now about 10 years later I remember her fondly however I realise that I should have spend that time with someone not without them. However heart breaking it might be really cut your losses and then try life without him. Whatever happens don't wish away your life like I did!!!!!!

Answer 7

Don't do it, honestly. I was in a long-distance relationship for about 3 years on and off and it was the most heart-breaking thing I've ever had to face. Because when you do find someone you like near you, you're more likely to choose them because it's just more convenient... Just throwin' that out there.

Answer 8

You're already looking around, this is not a good sign.

Long distance relationships can work, but I would suggest that as you've already met someone else while he was absent, chances are your relationship was not going to work anyway.

I would advise you to break it off now, before he moves down and ruins his life for you.

Answer 9

I couldnt do that..only see my bf for 2months out of the year!! One of you is more than likely going to stray, so If you like this new guy, then id would either go on a "break" or breakup with you bf and go for it. If you and ur bf are meant to be, you will be together later

Answer 10

If you let this go too long with the long distance relationship then he will be on your doorstep before you know it. You will have affected his life greatly (and probably not for the positive). If you are having doubts now then you should share them with your boyfriend and put things on hold until you are sure of your feelings.