I know there has been a lot of questions about bullying but...?

Question

Over the weekend our puppy died. My son is 8 and was close to the pup. He was the pup's boy. So yesterday [monday] at school my son was talking about it and this kid comes up and says to my son "I don't give a c*** about your G** D*** dog so just shut up now! This made my son very upset.. He cusses at my son constantly. He does this to other kids too, not just mine. The teacher says that this boy gets his name on the board all the time. What does that do?? So what, his name is on the board?
I've talked to the teacher to no avial. The boy still picks on him. Just a few weeks ago the boy took my son's puzzle magazine and threw it across the playground.
I told my son to
1. Tell a teacher
2. If it happens again walk away
3. If it still happens ignore him
4. If it happens again then tell him off. My son is sick and tired of being picked on. Any ideas on what I should do? I called the school and they said I have to work it with the teacher? That doesn't help! Any ideas?

I plan on taking him out of public school next year and teaching him at home. I want to try that and see if it's something we can do. He says I teach him more than the school does but we'll see how it works. I don't have the option of private school, I don't think there's any near us.
I've talked to the teacher nothing happens, and this is a teacher who won Teacher Of The Year last year!!!

I'm so angry I want to shake the kid. Of course, I won't because I don't like the idea of jail and I don't really believe in child abuse!

I can't talk to the parents because the boy rides the bus home. I pick up my son. But I told my son to ask the kid for his phone number in hopes that he won't know that I'm calling to talk to his mother. I'm about to shake her too! LOL

You all have great ideas. I'm going to tell my son next time the boy picks on him to say something nice back to him! I think that would really catch him off gaurd. I know it would me. LOL Thanks to everyone.

My son cannot be transferred to another class because it's the GATE class {gifted and talented class} and it doesn't happen during class just at recess. Even if they weren't in the same class they would still have recess together so he'd still have the problem. Unfortantly a new class is not an option.

Answer 1

If none of this works, i suggest advising your son to do what the bully least expects, tell him something nice. Tell him that God loves him, that he forgives him for not knowing how to express himself, ask him does he need a friend to talk to, etc. Although it seems that telling him off would work better, the truth is that it would only intensify the situation. The bully wants that negative attention and conflict. If your son only responds nicely, not cowardly, but nicely it will not give the bully the satisfaction of aggravating him. That's what makes the bully feel powerful, controlling the feelings and emotions of others. He will feel that bothering your son is a waste of time if he can't get him angry.

Answer 2

Let me get this straight. You have been dealing with a bulling problem for some time and you have called the school and the school tells you to deal with the teacher? Does this school have a Principle? Because it sounds like it's time for the Principle to be doing something about this problem. Call the Principle and set up a meeting with the bully's parents and get this out in the open. You really have to be firm...sometimes teachers are blind to what is really going on. I am sure the Principle or the school board or Superintendent should know what is going on. You need to ask them what are you going to do about it? The school system has really gone down hill. I hope you can get this fixed. Your son doesn't need to go through this.. The same thing happened to my 7 year old daughter. I had to talk to to the bully myself. I told the girl if you look, or even talk or touch my daughter again, I would be dealing with her parents and having a talk with the principle. She stopped after that.

Answer 3

One thing to consider, can you ask to have your son transfered to a different teachers class? Would this solve the problem? It may be that this particular teacher is not good with maintaining order in her class room. So if you have tried with the teacher, it is time to move on.

Call the school and ask to schedule an appointment with either the assistant principal or councelor. Begin keeping a journal of harrassment. This behavior would not be tolerated in the work place, why is it an aspect of social behavior your child needs to learn?

If you get no where with the assitant principal or councelor, your next step is the principal. Let him know that if he/she cannnot control the students in the classroom your next step will be the school district administration and from there you will go to your state board. This harrassment is affecting your sons learning enviornment. Let him know you are not willing to let it go.

Unfortunately this behavior and worse has become a big part of the "social experience" in public school. It is just one of the reasons why we decided to homeschool our son. We just didn't want to keep fighting to get our child a good education.

Answer 4

Sadly, your son has got himself a poor teacher. I would go right to the principal and demand a meeting the the other childs parents. The teacher should have arranged this already. One bad teacher does not make public school a bad place..every kid has to deal with a teacher that really should not even be a teacher.

Answer 5

I would never tolerate someone doing that to my kids! Go to the kid's parents. Odds are, they are aware of it. This is abuse! Your poor son. I've told my daughter to ignore things as well, now she is in karate, age 7, and learning to deal with situations in the proper manner. Talk to the principal and DEMAND a parent/student conference with both boys in the room and both sets of parents and the principal. If that kid continutes to torment other kids, I would ask that he be removed from the school or enrolled in some sort of councelling program. This sounds like one bad apple, I wonder what he will be like as an adult. :( Your son needs to be confident in standing up for himself, I would teach him some self defense moves. If nothing is done by the school or the parents, I wouldn't hesitate to contact the juvinile authorities.
I have thought about home schooling as well, but I believe that the social experience is well needed for kids. Private schools may be more expensive, but what price can you put on your childs safety and social experience. He needs friends and to be involved in a set schedule and classrooms. I think homeschooling would teach him the wrong lesson, but as a parent you are the only one who can decide whats right for your son. Good luck!

Answer 6

Go to the school board and inform them that going to the teacher did nothing to stop the harrassment of your child. Ask them to implement new anti bullying measures. If nothing else works then send him to a different school but in the mean time teach him how to deal with a bully. Children who are bullied in one school will most likely find the bully at the new school too without some help to deal with it.

Answer 7

I have two boys and have been through this. I took an approach and had the bully's name placed on my church's prayer list. I also have sent a note addressed to the kid telling him to make sure and tell his parents that our preacher would be paying him a visit soon. I find that the teachers either don't care or are too busy. In essence, you've already told him what I told my boy's years ago, and that is to walk away or ignore him. He'll eventually get tired of your son.

Answer 8

Have you talked to the principal? Taking your kid out of public school is not the answer. It is your duty as a parent to address such issues through the proper authority. Go up the chain of command. Talk to the principal. The teacher obviously needs a good talking to herself.

Answer 9

Tell your son to stand up for himself. Talkto his teacher. That's all you can do.

If at all possible, consider taking your son out of the public school system. It is a horrible place.