My mother in law has lived with us since we have been married (2 years). Ever since I have had our son, she has no concept of personal space! Its almost as if she has made my son her personal project. She has no regard for the fact that my husband and I are new parents and would like to experience this as such. I think I am about to lose my mind. She washes his clothes, buys his food, constantly wants to hold and rock him regardless of what he and I are in the middle of. Sometimes I think I am being petty but it upsets me so much. He is my first child and I want to do those things for him. I dont know how to approach my husband about my feelings. I know this will truly hurt him. Suggestions please!!!!
2007-01-30 04:08:50 · 5 answers · asked by Doris A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Honestly your husband shouldn't have to be approached about it. He should be able to see with his own eyes that his mother is taking over your baby. Just sit and explain to him that you're trying to have a bond with your son and you feel that his mother is at times in between that bond. You have to explain to the both of them that you really appreciate her helping you but there are certain things as the mother of the child that you'd rather do yourself. Her having had children should be able to understand that and understand that you're not trying to hurt her you just want the personal time with your son. You can also try approaching her in a way of asking her when she had her first child what were some of the things she enjoyed doing with her just her and her child. Ask her about things that can help you bond more with your son since it's your first child. Try and get her to see without causing conflict that she's in your space with your child. Let her make suggestions to you as far as what she did so she can see that she's intruding.
2007-01-30 04:33:31 · answer #1 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just wondering if your husband feels the same way. You could look at this two ways. 1) You have a built in babysitter. Maybe you and hubby should take advantage of this and go out for a nice dinner! 2) She helps you out with the baby when you are home.
BUT BUT BUT... If this bugs you that she is violating your personal space you and hubby need to agree together and set the boundaries with her without hurting her feelings. Grandmas sometimes think they're doing a good thing.
Good luck.
2007-01-30 05:15:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she lives with you in your home you need to set boundries, and if she cant accept them she needs a place of her own. If you're living in her home, move out into your own place. Whatever the situation is, she is still this childs grandmother and should have a little time with the baby on her own. MY biggest question is, does she realize that she's doing it?
2007-01-30 06:54:20 · answer #3 · answered by skylark455st2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and ask her to put herself in your shoes.
maybe she does not realize how invasive she is being. Tell her you don't want to upset her and that is why you are talking to her personally. If she won't listen then you need to talk to husband.
2007-01-30 04:35:21 · answer #4 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what can you do? Lived with it. she is your mother in law.
2007-01-30 04:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by kenn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋