When is the right time for marriage?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. We are really into each other, we like being together and spending time together (we haven't had sex), his family loves me and I love them, my family likes him and he like them, just my family is a little over protective of me, they go by the rules and want me to finish school and then get married, I say that’s not a bad idea but the problem is that I will finish school when I’m like 26 and him when he's like 28 we thinks that’s to far away because then we have to wait till he’s done with school to start thinking about marriage, so if we get married at that age, we will have to have kids like almost soon because we want kids but we want to be married for like at least 4 yrs then think about kids, we have done a lot of thinking we know its not just we get a ring and there. We know there’s a lot of responsibility like buying a house, paying rent, buying stuff to survive, pay for school. So when should we get married?

BTW he is 19 I am turning 19 in Feb, and we live with our parents right now. And plan on going to Universities after our first 2 years, which are like 4 -6 hrs away from where we live now.

Answer 1

i think the right thing to do is to finish school. a lot can happen in that time. you would just be adding additional pressures on to your life. it seems like the two of you really love each and if that is the case it can withstand the wait. if you get marry at the later age, then you don't have to wait 4 years to have children, you can start right away and with the time from now until then the two of you should be saving your money so you can put a down payment on a home when you first start your life together. remember 26 and 28 is still young for starting a marriage and if you are both smart and wise you can make it an easier start for the marriage by making all your preparations from now. try to save, save, save and you are going to be in a better position than most couples who don't take the time to realize what they really want out of a marriage or how to get it. you two have the opportunity to do it right and talk and think about things that you both want for your marriage and your lives. i wish you both happiness.

Answer 2

Only you can really answer this question - what's "right" is different for each person.

That said... having recently broken off an engagement because I didn't feel like I was ready to get married, here's what I can offer.

At least start school, if it's something that's important to you. I don't know your financial situation, but the last thing you want to do is start a marriage off in debt. There's also the fact that you've been together since you were 16, and going to school will show you a completely different world. Now, I'm not saying you'll go to school and decide not to be together, but you'll each gain new perspectives that will grow you as individuals AND as a couple. The best gift you can give each other is a well-rounded sense of self - something that only life experience outside of the "child" years can give you.

In addition to buying a house and paying rent, think about your lifestyles. Most people will tell you that when you live with someone, you really get to know them. Think about whether you can stand to see his dirty underwear, or if you can stand for him to see yours. Things like that that might seem silly are real issues that you have to think about. Can you live with this person? Can you spend the rest of your life with him, even if he drives you crazy sometimes? What are your spending habits, and what do you both want out of life? Do you have the same goals - i.e., do you want to get a degree while he wants to be a rock star?

Marriage is a huge step, and no matter what you decide, I'd recommend talking to a premarital counselor if you're even considering it. They can help you put things in perspective, and can offer you some sound advice.

A lot of people will tell you you're way too young. But remember, the choice is ultimately YOURS. Think about it, think hard, and ultimately, do what feels right to you.

Answer 3

I think you should do what is best. That can be a number of things though. School is very important, I realize that. If you guys are going to different schools in the future, you will both go through some changes. Your future may change, your feeling on the future may change. A lot can change over the next few years. It can be for the best or the worst. No one can tell. If you both feel strong about school then finish school. A lot of couples have children late in life. That is the best way to go because you will both be fulfilled with the choices you've made. Just make sure you won't have any regrets. Wait it out and see where your future will take you to. Also make sure you both agree on what you both want. Good luck to you and your futures.

Answer 4

Marriage is a lifelong commitment and there isn't a particular age that will assure you it will work out. I do think you should both get through school first and get a grip on what you really want in life as individuals. Things change so fast in this world and marriage is not easy. It is a commitment for life and daily stresses can cause problems. You need to be self sufficient before you get married also. Be sure you can pay bills,etc. You have plenty of time to have children. Don't rush into it. Help each other finish school and then celebrate your accomplishments with marriage if you feel ready then.

Answer 5

wait. you've waited for three years already and the love hasn't dwindled what's a couple more. I'm 19, and am in a relationship and i would love to get married now but i have to consider my education and i value our love in the end, i know it will be worth the wait. trust me i a living testimony...

Answer 6

the right time for you to get married is when you are stable of work and at the right age because it is a long time commitment tothe one you loved.