I'm 27 yrs old and i want bigger things for our relationship like getting married, we have lived together for 1yr and dated for 4yrs. but my guy spends $500 on a xbox, just finished buying a new 30" TV, $400 new cell phone, man i know guys love there toys, but i dont even spend that much on myself in a year! and he says we cant afford to go out for a nice dinner. I would just like him to think of saving that kind of money for things in the future, i know he has thought of the idea of getting married, he says he cant afford it right now, yeah well if he would save some of this money maybe we could! But how to make him see that?
2007-01-30 03:51:11 · 15 answers · asked by smoki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
first off, do not get mad at him. he spends his money on the things that he wants and are important to him. you want to save for the future, but he is not concerned with that. he says that he wants to get married, but his actions prove differently. maybe marriage is something that he isn't ready for at the time. also, you said that you don't spend that kind of money on yourself..is it because you don't have it or is it that you just aren't a big spender? if he has the extra bucks for himself, what is the problem? he should be able to spend on things that he likes, right? same goes for you. either way, you two look at financial issues differently. let it be known that it is okay for him to buy his 'toys', but that you guys should set aside money for the future. when he asks you where you want to go eat, suggest a restaurant that you really want to eat at, and do not think of how expensive it is. if he goes into how he doesn't have money for that, then skip dinner all together. don't settle for a burger shack when you know that you could be eating steak. you want finer things, and you deserve them. if he spends his money on himself, and can't shell out a few bucks to put a smile on your face, then you need to look at the bigger picture. he will always put himself first in everything, and if that isn't a problem, then fine. but don't expect him to change in the future. what you see now is what you are gonna get in the future.
2007-01-30 04:31:06 · answer #1 · answered by dream 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Comon! You think a getting married is more important than a TV! 30" at that! I am outraged. What do you think will keep him at home and out of the bars or someone elses house when you do get married? Let Him have all the toys (within a reasonable budget) then cut Him off from the check book then marry Him .
2007-01-30 04:21:32 · answer #2 · answered by Jay-V-Dub 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think this guy wants to settle down just yet. Sounds like he's too much into his toys than you. You can talk to him and be his friend but if he really and truly wanted a relationship with you, he'd be spending his money on other things.
Some men are actually committment phobes. So ask yourself if you really wanna stay with a guy who plays with his toys more than his woman if that's what you really want in a man. I think women who fall for men like that could do better.
2007-01-30 04:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by padiwan2 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound like he's focused on marriage at all. While it is his right to buy anything he wants with his money, sounds like he's dodging the issue. Have you ever sat down with him and talked to him about what he sees for your future? Have you asked, "We have been together for four years and I love you very much. I was hoping we could finally settle down. But, I get the feeling that you aren't as optimistic about marriage as I am. What are your views on marriage between us?" Sometimes people are afraid to ask questions like this in fear that the person will say no, but sometimes we can't get what we want without risks. With that said, is marriage that important? People can live loving lives without that piece of papper. Just a thought...
2007-01-30 04:24:31 · answer #4 · answered by Groovy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is quite 2 themes right here. She's leaving in the back of the friendship, it somewhat is concern one. and then she's marrying a loser freeloader, it somewhat is concern 2. So if I have been you, i might handle the 1st one head on. bypass away him out of it, considering the fact it somewhat is approximately the two one in each and every of you. factor out each and all of the procedures she's distanced herself, and then ask her what makes her think of she will manage you like that once that have you ever be obsessed on status up for her? See how she responds. if one in each and every of those super style of persons have already talked to her approximately him, she's no longer likely to alter. So i do no longer see any value in following that attitude. concentration on her habit, and tell her being a bridesmaid is a huge dedication, and you do no longer think of you owe her that astounding now. tell her you would be satisfied to attend as a visitor. additionally, to be truthful, analyzing by way of this I questioned why you even maintained the friendship for for this reason long. She sounds immature and self absorbed, the MBA besides the fact that.
2016-12-17 05:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by gelman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the person you want to marry?
I won't say Man, because he's not acting like one.
I would save up money, and move on.
There are real grown up Men in the world.
He will always spend this way, always.
2007-01-30 04:38:56 · answer #6 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he has a problem with money budgeting it..he likes to spend...he buys that but can't take you out to dinner...you both want different things in life...he is not the man for you..i suggest you move on..it will never work
2007-01-30 04:21:26 · answer #7 · answered by ♥queen b♥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe if he saw you footing some of the dinner bill or anything else... he would stop spending so much on his toys and spend more on the relationship...
2007-01-30 04:22:07 · answer #8 · answered by dallasguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the porn shop and get yourself a toy and quit bitching.
2007-01-30 04:25:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs to finish growing up.
2007-01-30 04:20:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋