I was told by my 4 yr old that they did not love me he loves his daddy. How am I to respond to that?

Question

Note: My son's father and I have shared parenting.

Answer 1

I get the same thing from my daughter. It's ROUGH to hear that but I think the best thing to do is just let it pass. My daughter figured out pretty quick that that she gets all kinds of attention from everyone within earshot when she does it and now it's almost guaranteed every time I see her.

Answer 2

My fiances dauhter is 8 years old. When she has her weekends with daddy she tells her mother that she hates coming to see him and never wants to come back. She does the same thing with her mother, tells her that she hates her and wants to go live with daddy forever. It wasnt until I sat her down and explained how much hearing those words come out of her mouth hurt both her mommy and daddys feelings that it stopped. When I was a kid telling my parents I hated them was out of the question. That was probably the most horrifying thing I could have said. Today its different, you need to explain to him that hate is a mean word, and that you hope he really didnt mean it. But even if he says he did, make sure you tell him you love him anyway.

Answer 3

You should not be worried. I have been around a four year old that does the exact same thing. When he was away from his mother for a while he would tell his dad the same thing, and vice versa. Have you talked to your child's father to see if he tells him I don't love you I love mommy. I think it just that age.

Answer 4

My 4 year old has told me that before as well. I really think it's part of the age and one of those fun stages they go through. I respond by saying something like, "That's okay. I still love you very much." or along those lines. If he's doing it to try and be hurtful because he's mad at me, I'll tell him that that hurts my feelings but I still love him.

Answer 5

This is just a case of a young boy wanting to be like his father. This is completely normal. Don't make a big deal about it. If he knows that it upsets you he will use this over and over. Just make a light hearted comment like well I love you more than anything something like that. It is a phase that will pass.

Answer 6

Are you kidding? He's four for God's sake. He also likes ninja turtles one week and Sponge Bob the next. Your being overly emotional.