I rung my ex did i make a mistake?

Question

hi my ex split with me 2 weeks ago after an argument at work. and now when i ask her if she wants to get back with me she says she doesnt know. she also says she likes me and has goot feelings for me plus fancies me but can only give me friendship for now. i like her to bits and i want to be with her. i wanna make her the happiest woman in the world. She got with me after splitting with her bf. she used to chase me and stuff when i got upset before but then i had a nice side to me but also a bad side. i started arguing with her over little stupid reasons for example people sreading rumours at work etc. So she assumed that i aint nice and am same as her ex but i know for a fact am not. i used to txt her and ring her alot but these past few days i not txt her or ring her much she has been txtin me but i havent been replying straighht away. in one case she txt me asking me why i didnt reply to one of her txts? i rung her 2day for 4mins did i do the right thing ? what do i do 2 get her bak

Answer 1

Well...this sure is a complicated love story! She likes you, but wants to remain friends, and you want to make her the happiest woman in the world! When you like someone so much, but you're not sure whether that person wants you the same way, you're bound to act a little crazy. So give it some time, don't lay it on too thick, don't choke her with too much attention. Play it cool, don't call her too many times, and when you do, make it interesting and make her want to hear your voice again soon. Rumors, people will always talk, don't let that bother you too much. Concentrate on her, and your relationship. All the best!

Answer 2

There are just too many things here. First, it's always a bad idea to date a co-worker, as your relationship is fodder for all in the work place. Plus, it's difficult for people even in the strongest relationship to work together and play together - it's better to have some time apart during the day. Then your relationship didn't start out on the right foot, with her fresh out of a relationship, and you dodging her. Seems like you weren't truly interested at first. Now, with all that said, if you honestly want to pursue a relationship, I strongly suggest that you formost keep your distance at work. The less those you work with know, the better. Then, be friends, you can't have a close loving relationship with someone you don't have a strong bond with, and that should start with friendship. She needs to be your best friend and you her's before you can be anything else and make it last. Stop the text and email crap - talk! My God, people don't communicate any more. Both of you put it out on the table what you are looking for and what you want. Then you will know if this is worth pursuing or not. Some half spelled 7 word text is simply not the way to build a relationship.

Answer 3

You sound quite young from the style of your question. We've all been there - you think you've found the love of your life and don't want to let go.

The trouble is the more you push someone to be with you the harder they are going to pull away. It is a hard lesson to learn but the main thing to do is to be happy with yourself. Only be being happy single can you possible be truly happy as a couple. You shouldn't need someone to make you feel a whole person you should be a whole person who deserves a loving person to be your partner.

If she says she likes you but doesn't want to be your girlfriend then that is a polite way of letting you down. You need to move on and don't call or text her again. Spend some time with friends without leaping into another relationship. There can be such a thing as being too desperate to be in a relationship and girls can smell this a mile off and the only ones you'll attract are ones with low self esteem.

What do you do to get her back? Answer - nothing. You cannot make someone fall in love with you although we've all been there in our younger days. Phoning up an ex after a party at midnight and waffling down the phone - it rarely bodes well for a long term relationship.

Answer 4

Well- if you want her back and you wish her to know this then contacting her to say so is not a mistake.

Question is whether or not you BOTH made a mistake breaking up over something which could have done with more discussion.

Breaking up is often easier to do (especially in the heat of an argument) than working out differences. Some would say it is the coward's way. No- I am not accusing you of being a coward but you have to see that if she throws a split a your head or you with her you are guilty of not being courageous to stay and hear, possibly, unpleasant things about yourself and DEALING with the problem.

If your ex says she is not sure then there is hope. It may mean that she has considered her reaction to the situation and perhaps feels it was rash. But seeing as she offers you friendship instead consider that she may also regret having started a relationship with you on the rebound. And considering YOU mentioned that I think you KNOW that that is not a good reason to go out with someone new!

Be a little more self-conscious and rate yourself more- you do not deserve to be someone's punchbag and rebound pasttime.

If you like yourself (and yeah- good on you for admitting that you have a bad and good side- we all do but not all of us can admit as much!) you will find that you are deserving of having folk like you for WHO you are and not just because you are convenient.

And if you are happy with who you are you will not need to have her come back to you to prove to you, her and the others that you can "keep your woman"!

And SHE will feel better being around you too! You see- if she has reconsidered WHY she got together with you in the first place AND why she broke up with you then that doesn't mean that you two are not meant to be together but just that she needs to slow down.

And slow is good. You will benefit from giving her space to come back to you and your joint relationship if that is what is meant to happen because when she does (IF she does!) then you KNOW it is because you are worth it to her.

:-)

Basically- best tactic here is to be open about how you feel. To YOURSELF and to others. Her included. If you cannot text her back every minute of every day (and that she texts you is a good sign) then DON'T. Don't make excuses about it- just be honest and say that you were busy and that you didn't mean anything bad with it. And that is just it- DON'T use not texting her as a punishment. That is what I mean about being honest with yourself too.

So- short answer- You acted from your heart when you phoned her and no- it was NOT wrong for you both. What the result of it will be is for the best. Better honestly telling her you still love her than trying to punish her for having broken up with her by keeping your distance when you actually want to be with her.

Good luck.

Answer 5

The only thing that I can say about tis situation is a woman gets tired of you using her after awhile. If you want her, tell her and give er a minute to decide but you should not put pressure on her to be with you again because that will just make the process longer or either you two may hook back up but it will be worse because you didn't give her a chance to breath. That's kind of the situation with me and my ex b/f too.

Good luck with that...
I hope that everything works out well for you

Answer 6

Ringing her wasn't a mistake necessarily. You may be asking for trouble however if you don't establish boundaries with her. She wants to be your friend, maybe more, but this only serves to keep you on the line while she figures things out. She wants you to be tethered so you won't be available for other potential relationships.
How you feel about her will muddy your thinking. You cannot clearly judge if you are reacting appropriately or not when your feelings are so mixed. Take a well deserved break from her. There are many, many opportunities out there waiting to happen... and when you least expect it.
So don't beat yourself up about calling her. If she calls you, you can make a choice: answer or don't. Curiosity may get us at times, but what are the repercussions? Clinging to something that isn't there is wishful thinking, but bad for your self esteem, self image, self worth, etc!
Carry on, chap! :) and the best of luck to you! :)

Answer 7

ok i was in a similar situation like u
the girl was chasing me and then when she left me i was chasing her
somewhat like a cat n mouse game

here it goes, accept the fact, that she can only offer u friendship
u r probably say cuz i want her more than a friend.
cool
well right now she s confused and she s feeling u out tryin to figure out if u did change.
one word of advice man, if u havent change dont go after her, if u did change for the good then ok.

when i forced myself onto my x it drove her away, but when i excepted the friendship and was less chasing her, she started to chase me that the trick.
act like u r happy about being single, she will confront u and u will reply, i m happy thats all but at the same time be smoove and show her some affection but dont ask to come back or pressure
just enjoy the moment watch her comeback

Answer 8

I reckon she doesn't know what she wants and may have dated you on the rebound from her ex. It seems she still has feelings for her ex or that you have come on a little too strong which scared her off and that argument was just the trigger. My advice is, spread your wings, get back on the dating scene and let her do the running Explain to her that you are there for her if she wants you and that you hope she'll change her mind. If she doesnt, at least you know where you stand and you can move on with your life. Get back on the dating scene, seeing you with someone else may make her realise what she is missing.
Whatever you do, don't grovel and maintain your pride and dignity.
Good luck

Answer 9

O dear friend. I beleve a chill pill is ont he order. Life goes on! I have a friend who is in the middle of sum major relationship trouble. and the story goes like this.


They desided to take a week where they would not see each other as they had been arguing non stop for the past month and things had got alittle to much for both of them... Good idea you think, yes me 2.

So the next day he is at work (lifeguard) and she turns up at the swimming pools and tells him its over, she knows he has cheated on her and its over! end of story... Even altho he never cheated you probly think like me rite now and say, goo its over she does not trust him anymore, hes had enough of her good.

So the next day (after she has been to a party with all her girlfriends now mind) she calls him and trys to tell him if he wants to make it work then he better contact her, they talk its no better but they stay together.... Hmm? this was 2days ago.

Well next week they are goin on holiday with her parents.

This is insane... people need time, the world keeps spinning. Leave each other alone. Its bad enough that you work together . thats a no no as it is. I reallyt think u need to chill out... She has said no, take the no for just now. Be the person u know you are and if shes attracted to being with you again you you will know about it. And maybe then u will love youself enough to know whats rite for you....

Answer 10

As hard as it might be, you have done the right thing. It would not be wise to get back together as those problems you are facing will probably never go away. If you can live with them - honestly - then that is fine. I am guessing you can't. Move on and don't look back. I know it is a cliche but there are many more fishes, etc,etc. Someone else will come along. Probably better still.