Since Nov my bf has been making hints that we’ll be getting engaged soon. He even made it seem like it could happen for the holidays, it didn't. He would hum the wedding song,& talk about the people we'd invite. He even talked about where and when we'd get married.
In Jan I told him that it isn't fair that he's talking about it so much if he doesn't intend to propose soon. He said that I should be patient, that money is tight but we will get engaged. He said that I would have no idea when he was going to propose, that he wants it to be a total surprise. He said for starters he would never let me know when he got the ring (my friends bf told her he bought the ring). He said I know how important the proposal is to you, so how do you know if I might be taking the time to plan it out right. and that might be the hold up. After that conversation, I was left not knowing what to think anymore.
Now it’s about a month later & he hasn’t even talked about getting engaged. No teasing, nothing
2007-01-30 02:22:21 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Our 1 year Anniversary is this weekend.
2007-01-30 02:22:39 · update #1
Everyone is so fast to judge me, thinking I'm pressuring him. But meanwhile HE'S the one who was talking about it ALL the time. He's the one who's been wanting to get married since he first meet me. I never said I pressured him into getting engaged and everyone is assuming I am. I was just upset last month because he's always talking about it so it's hard not to think about it. And now he's totally not talking about "getting engaged" that I got concerned.
2007-01-30 03:18:55 · update #2
Don't worry i was the same way he kept hinting at it then it all stopped two months later we got engaged so hang tight it is probably coming soon he just wants you to not expect it every time you go out or something good luck
2007-01-30 03:41:46 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiancee and I had been together for less than 12 months when we got engaged (although we have been best friends for 10 years) We had talked about it a number of times but it was still a surprise for me when it happened as i had no idea that he had bought a ring. It possible that he has stopped making comments as you asked him not to talk about it all the time. It's also a possibility that he has a plan in the works for a great proposal. Just be patient and it will happen when it needs to.
2007-01-30 10:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by Teresa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are stressing way too much over getting engaged.Your boyfriend has the right idea about wanting to be more financially stable that is the mature thing to do.Your boyfriend want's the proposal and engagement to be special and you are trying to ruin that for him and I don't understand why.You sound very insecure like you HAVE to be engaged RIGHT NOW.I suggest you chill out before you chase him away.Stop hounding him.If he told you he wanted to purchase a car in the next 6 months would you hound him everyday.You are going to make it to where he does'nt want to tell you anything.Your boyfriend is absolutely right you are not supposed to know when he is going to propose.You think that people are getting onto you because you are being pushy well...you are being pushy.I don't understand what your rush is.You do need to be patient..Another reason he is probably waiting to propose is that he is affraid that as soon as he proposes you are gonna be hounding him about setting the wedding date immediately you are pressuring him way too much you are most likely the cause of why he has not yet proposed I strongly suggest that you back off..
2007-01-30 03:42:56 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU need to get a backbone and become a partner in your relationship. He's got you thinking he's planning this whole thing. Is that the way it's supposed to work? Guy plans wedding before he proposes? Either that's a new one on me or he's taking you for granted.
POINT: Money problems 1 of the top 3 reasons marriages don't last.
Throw bf a curve here and get Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover. It tells you how to get out of debt and prosper, while making sure you and he are on the same page regarding your objectives. www.daveramsey.com
Next time he brings up proposing, tell him it's too early and you two need to fix your finances first. Then see how quickly he proposes.
Good Luck
2007-01-30 02:36:26 · answer #4 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you're the one who told him to quit talking about getting engaged if it isn't going to happen soon. So maybe it isn't going to happen soon, because you are on to him, and he said he wants it to be a total surprise.
I know it is hard, but try to get it off of your mind. If you really do want to get married, you'll be together for the rest of your lives. What is a few more months or a year? It's like a drop in the bucket.
2007-01-30 03:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont bug him about it. I was like that to my bf and we are now engaged, but I would not say that his proposal was anything special because I think I put to much pressure on him to hurry up and do it. I know that we will be fine, but I wish I would have been a little more patient and just let him do it. your bf is probably planning something special, and dont be upset if he doesnt propose this weekend~ remember he wants it to be a surprise and this weekend might be a little abovious. when he is ready he will do it. good luck!
2007-01-30 02:50:49 · answer #6 · answered by flutterflie04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, do not mention it every five seconds to him. I had this same thing with my now-fiance. He always talked about getting hitched and yet nothing ever happened. Then one day he explained ti was a money situation. And I totally understood. And on Christmas, he surprised me with the most beautiful engagement ring!!! It was not cheap either, which is why hew as saving so long. Just give it time. :)
2007-01-30 02:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're so hot-to-trot to get married then you ask him to marry you and quit farting around. Tell him you want to know, are we getting married or not. No teasing or mis-leading, just yes or no.
Even if money is tight, you can get engaged and be engaged for a while until you save money for the wedding. At least you'll know and can start making plans for your future. If not, then cut your losses and move on to someone who will want to marry you.
2007-01-30 03:41:47 · answer #8 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you are so confused, he has quite clearly stated that he has a plan in hand, you just need to be patient. Stop thinking about it, just chill out and relax and enjoy your relationship, perhaps he does not want to keep going on about it as he doesn't want to keep it in the front of your mind all the time.
2007-01-30 03:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just relax. Maybe he is realizing that talking about it may ruin the surprise. If it is meant to be, it will happen. Valentine's Day is coming up too. Just love him, date him and when the time is right, he will ask. Good luck.
2007-01-30 03:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋