How can I stop my daughter form being friends with someone?

Question

My daughter is 10, she is friends with this one girl but this other girl is always starting trouble between them. Last month, my daughter was her best friend, this month she is not. The problem is the other girl is always talking about my daughter and making up rumors and they ganged up on her before with nasty emails or talking about her. It stopped about 9 months ago(I called the parents) but started again.
I want my daughter to make her own decisions but at the same time as an adult I know more that is going on than her. I feel like she gets walked all over from this girl and she totally treats the other girl nicer(like she is scared to stick up for herself)
I don't want to say you can't hang out with her because it will make her want it more!
Any advice?

When they sent theemails to her with nasty things , it wasn't butting in..it went too far and it was cruel.
She has cried and I have talked to her over and over about it.

Answer 1

There's always going to be this dynamic between girls. There was when I was a kid, and there still is now that my girls are in school. It helps to arm your daughter with strong self esteem at home. There are actually moms who try and bully me too, but I won't react to it. That's the key. If your daughter doesn't give this girl the reaction she's looking for, she'll stop.
I once heard that there are two kinds of people in the world who won't like you: Stupid people and Jealous people. The stupid people will eventually like you once they get to know you, but the jealous people never will. I tell my 12 year old to keep this in mind when she's being mistreated. There was a time when I just had to tell her to toughen up, but now that she has, the girls don't try to pull that crap on her anymore. You can't change the way those girls will behave, but you can advise your daughter on how to react.
Good luck!

Answer 2

Although it isnt nice, this is the age it starts. It started in 5th grade with my daughter and it still goes on in 7th grade. Unless there is something going on that is real nasty..I would leave it alone. She has to figure things out on her own. There are some things that should be brought to another parents attention like threats, bullying etc.

I tell my daughter that misery loves company and that's why other girls can be nasty. I tell her that real friends don't do certain things and she understands that now after learning the hard way. She recently cut someone out of her life that she thought was a good friend but the girl was being a back stabber.

Answer 3

Take your daughter out every weekend to really fun places like (skating, movies, bowling) and only invite the girl that's nice to her. I bet the mean girl will start being nice and get the hint. I would probally just make a comment to the little brat when she was over at my house, something casual but to where she and I know what is meant. If something happens again with bullying through an email please contact the school. I worked at the middle school last year here and stuff like that was not tolerated. She could get suspended for that and then her parents might be embarrassed enough to actually discipline the girl. Good luck!

Answer 4

Well sounds like jealous & troubled girls. I have 4 daughters & I warned my girls long ago about these types of people & I tell them stay clear of the girls, If u need to u may need to switch school & give her a fresh start, If u don't act soon it will get worse for her. My older 2 are in highschool * my oldest 8 th grade year girls who were her friends turned on her & was going to try to jump her , me & my husband took turns going to class with her & worked with the staff to prevent them from doing so. I feel us taking time off was worth it my daughter is alive & well in a different school & doing well. I live in Omaha & it is getting worse all I can say is be there for her & listen to cues sometimes it may take for you to ask everyday how her day was & waht happened at school even if it hasd nothing to do with her u need to know what she is around at all times to be prepared. She is 10 she has along way to go & her whole life ahead. Early discisions can make a lifetime difference. a couple of years ago a girl died in Omaha bcuz the school district diddnt act upon threats made to a girl , she had a disability & these girls still jumped her & it could have been stopped if preventatives by school & parents were more involved. You can always get another job but u can't replace you child.

Answer 5

I actually have a lot to assert i do no longer understand the place to start. i understand that some babies are compulsive liars.(that's a psychological ailment) they even have faith they're protecting them self by using doing so. It gets to the factor the place they are able to no longer tell the version between actuality and lies. She desires counseling and good away. My acquaintances infant (calls me mom) is now doing 13 month in penitentiary because of the lies she advised. do no longer misinform her that makes you only as undesirable. yet another ingredient I only theory-approximately take each and every thing away and the deal would be every time she tells the certainty and you will coach it she gets something lower back. If she has a telephone that is going to you apart from mght. Get her help!

Answer 6

It's amazing at TEN these kids are on the computer and allowed to basically do whatever they want! I think that's so wrong. Why do they need email accounts at ten???

Anyway your question was: How can I stop my daughter form being friends with someone?
My answer? Tell her to stop hanging out with her, if she comes up to your child have her walk away, tell her to tell the teacher. Of course the REAL answer here is that you cannot make them not be friends. Once she's at school she's able to talk to whomever she so chooses. It's easy to say "Don't talk to so and so and if so and so comes up to you walk away." Do you trust your daughter enough to know she'll do that??? That's the real question.

Answer 7

You're right, you cannot tell your daughter that she couldnt hang out with her anymore because she would just want to do it more. The way to handle this situation is to have a chat with her about whats happening and what could happen if she continues this path. Then let her make the decision as to whether heed your suggestions or ignore the things you say.

Good Luck.

Answer 8

ah, the good old days... I remember so fondly..Seriously, girls will be girls.. catty and horribly hurtful. She might as well get use to it, because it's only going to get worse in High school, then college, and then the work world.

Don't shelter your daughter. Give her lots of support and love, and focus on making sure her self esteem is in tact.. That way she is OK with herself regardless of what others may think. This is the toughest lesson for people of any age to learn! Love yourself unconditionally! Once she get's OK with herself she will choose not to be around people like this girl.

Don't stress too much.. it will be a different girls turn to be ostracized soon..

Answer 9

I remember those days. My only advise is to be there for your daughter to talk to and it might be a lesson that she will have to learn on her own. I know as a parent you want to protect her from that, but all you can really do is voice your concern and she will eventually see that you are right. You can help her make decisions and listen.

Answer 10

Don't you remember school. The last thing you need is your mom dealing with things for you.
All you should really do is talk to her and tell her that this girl is not really her friend. That friends don't do this to one another. She is probably putting up with it because the girl is popular and that is just one of those school things.
I would say try to give her the right advice but don't force her to make a decision let her decide what is the right thing for her own her own.
I recently caught my son paying his bully to leave him alone and he is 9. I stopped giving him the extra money and told him that you don't buy people off and that you have to stick up for yourself and trust me when I say I just made everything worse. You have to let them figure it all out, own there own. Its part of growing up.

I just wish there was some way to make it easier. I just say a prayer everyday and try and keep a line of communication open with my child. I would really worry if he stopped talking to me about things going on at school.