breaking his heart...?

Question

okay, lets try this again, i didnt get an answer last time!

we have been together almost 2 years, and i am 16 (hes 17). the relationship is.... (hate to say it) boring. he is madly in love with me, and i would just like to be friends, that is how i think of him now, like my best friend. i know that this break up will hurt me too, i have been with him since i was 14... he is a part of my life, and i do love him, i just dont know if i am IN love with him.

how can a break up with him, with out breaking his heart?

Answer 1

This is a really tough situation considering you two have been together so long and it seems as if he really cares about you from what you say.

You say you love him but you're not in love with him and believe me I know how that feels, it's a horrible feeling when you don't want to break someone who is like your best friend's heart.

You need to be honest though because just like us girls, guys hate to be strung along not knowing what you want in a relationship or actually thinking you love them and them becoming so attached to you and later finding out down the road that you didn't feel the same way and it will make things 10x's worst.

I'd sit him down and just be honest with him. Tell him you love him and you care about him and you want to remain friends but you feel as if you're too young to be so tied down to someone for so long and maybe you two should go out and realize what life is with eachother and what it is without eachother and that will be the only way to determine true feelings.

Just remember, if he's a true friend he'll understand and he'll give you your space and who knows you may actually be in love with him and you just haven't came to that conclusion yet because you haven't been able to go out and see what else is out there.

I know you probably will get the same advice and it may not be what you're looking for but in any case good luck and I wish the best for you and whatever decision you may make.

Answer 2

16 is a very young age to really truly know what being in love means. I think it's great that you have had just a long relationship with each other and I am sure you have gotten to know each other very well. But seeing that you are both so very young it makes sense for you being unsure about the being IN love. No matter what age ending a relationship is never easy for anyone no matter what the reasons may be. I would think by now your friendship should be strong enough to be able to sit down and talk to him about it. Let him know your true feelings and your fear of breaking his heart. But at the same time you have to somehow try to let him know that you're not IN love with him but you love him as a friend and he is a very important part of your life. If it is truly meant to be it will survive anything… and remember you have your whole life ahead of you and being only 16 you have no clue where that might take you. If all works out well in the end you can still be the best of friends and who knows down the road you may find that you truly are IN love with him. Best of luck….and remember take things slow… don’t rush into anything at such a young age.

Answer 3

OK so you don't want to break his heart? I really don't think you can get around this without doing so..but here is an idea..You really got to tell him how you really feel and not give him an excuse. The truth is always better..after you are done telling him how you feel..tell him what you want to happen and why. Tell him you still want to be friends with him cause that is now how you see each other. Give him alittle hope by saying..if my feelings do change and I start feeling the love again I will tell you. Also tell him it's not fair that you are going on like this if you don't feel the connection that your supposed to in a relationship. He deserves to be loved and you deserve to love. Make him see that he really does deserve to be loved right back and that's one thing you can't give him no matter how hard you try. You will break his heart but telling him like this will not make him mad at you, if anything it would make him respect you even more for telling him how,why,when. Good luck...I hope this helps alittle

Answer 4

There is no such thing as not breaking his heart. Just be honest about how you feel. Tell him that you feel that your relationship has come to a stand still. Explained to him that before things get worse you'd like to relax with the relationship. Tell him that you really didn't take the time to be friends before you got serious. Trust me, if you started dating him at 14 and you're now 16 you weren't friends first. Seriously you are too young to be in this type of situation. You're to young to be concerned about loving a boy or being in love. You need to focus on school and what you want out of life...boys and then eventually men will come along. You need to end this relationship with him with honesty. Don't just walk away tell him that you want to be by yourself for a while and do just that.

Answer 5

Here is the simple answer that you don't want to hear - you can't. You can't break up with him without breaking his heart. But here is the second part of the situation - that is not your problem. Growing up and exploring love means that we all have our share of heartbreak, and we all learn to move past it, heal, and find something better for ourselves.

If you truly love him, want to be his friend, and fele that you are "best friends,' then it seems to me that HONESTY should come first.

Oh one more thing... and I am making an assumption here. IF you are having sex with this person, STOP IMMEDIATELY. It is VERY wrong to have sex with a person who thinks they are "making love," even if it feels good for a moment or two. You MUST address it NOW.

It is very difficult to hurt someone you love, but it is even more difficult if yo ulet it go on and on and on.

Do it now, tell him EXACTLY what you wrote and do it in a private place where he can hurt, cry, be angry, yell, scream, beg, and do all of the things that we do when we're hurt ,and remember that NONE of those reactions represents his true self. They represent his HURT self.

No matter what he says, hug him, tell him you can still talk to him, reassure him that you will still be a part of his life, and brace yourself for the hurt that can not be avoided.

Take care of yourself too. Don't think that just because you are DOING the breaking up that yo ushouldn't hurt and grieve the loss of a significant relationship. You will experience tears, hurt, pain, and self-doubt.

DONT second guess yousrelf. Trust your instincts, and know that we all - adults - have been through what you have to do, and most of us hav ebeen through both sides, breaking up and being broken up with.


Good luck, dear.

J

Answer 6

Well not to disapoint you but it is almost impossible not to break his heart or escape from breaking it because you've been together for 2 years now. Now i do have to say that are maturing a lot because you start making right assumptions and decisions for yourself. You are doing a right thing. Dont worry about his feelings; we all at some point of our lives had out heart hearbroken. So do the right thing because otherwise you are messing yourself up by setting yourself for boredom and unsatisfaction. Plus you both still young and need to move on and start seeing other people. Thats exacatly how you need to base your break by saying something constructive like that. Tell him that you still want to be friends and all but you need to take a break from this because its not something that he is doing wrong its just for your good. He will need to comply with that. Dont tell him he is borring though, he will persuade you that he can change and you will end up giving him another chance. Just sit down with him like adults and sya how you feel and that you both need to go out there and see other people so evetually you dont make a bad decision by thinking that all there is you and him and you meant to be together or something, because most likely you are not. Otherwise you wouldnt have to do that. Tell him that he personally needs a perfect relationship himself and your is not perfect because you dont feel that way. Work your words and if you have to confuse him but do it now while its definitely not too late and painful for both of you. Good luck!

Answer 7

That's a real tough one, but the most important thing to remember is to act soon.
You don't want to continue to let him think everything is ok cause it will just make it harder.
Just sit him down and have a heart to heart talk. Tell him the best way to be sure you two are meant for each other is to spend some time apart.
Time apart will tell what's really in the heart! It really will!

Answer 8

There's really isn't a way to not break his heart. The worst thing you can do, though, is to stay in the relationship. The longer you guys are together, the more the breakup is going to hurt in the end. A breakup causes hurt to both parties, no matter how it is done or what is said.

Answer 9

Your going to break his heart anyway you break up with him. Just tell him the truth, that's all you can do. If he still wants to be friends with you, it's on him. Try not to push the Friends issue right away. Give him time to heal from the hurt. Don't call him, have him call you when/if he's ready to talk to you.

Answer 10

Truth be told you can't. If he is so in love with you it will break his heart. If you tell him you just want to be friends he might go along with it but deep down inside his feelings for you are going to still be strong adn he will aways have strong feelings for you. He most likely will be staying with you in hopes that he gets a 2nd chance. There is no letting him down easy. He will crash and fall. That what does not kill us only makes us stronger.