OMG I love my mother sooo much......?

Question

But we cant stop arguing.I am 16 and she's 40,we dont have a generarion gap,she's open minded.I am the best student at school,or anything that i do,i hang out with a nice crowd!But t's either my messy room,not wearing clothes she fully approves of(although she pretty much likes the way I dress).I know she is too concerned about me and she does it out of her love,but it is soul-out-wearing.....I know I am wrong at everything and it is my fault if we argue.I love her so much and I can't take this anymore.She and dad are the people who I would give my life for....

Answer 1

If you love her so much, then stop arguing and clean up your messy room, come home on time, stop answering back and rolling your eyes (I see you) and remember your mom won't be around forever. This will all come into perspective when you have your own children but moreso when you bury your mother. Treasure each moment. She loves you which is why she wants the best for you. Consider yourself lucky to have both your parents around that care enough to make sure you are safe in this world of nut jobs.

Yeah, and take those pics off My Space. Don't you know there are psychos out there checking you out?

Answer 2

This is normal. You are at the right age to start becoming your own grown up person. You are actually at the "in between stage" right now. Your mom still sees you as her little baby and feels she has to make all your decisions and knows what's best for you. In reality she does. But she also needs to give you some slack with supervision, because if you don't make a few decisions on your own, you will never have the confidence you need to be a responsible adult when you leave home. You will most likely make mistakes, as your mom probably did at your age, this is why she is overly concerned. She wants to spare you the same mistakes she made. But you need to, so you can learn from your mistakes just as she did. Have patience with your mom. Remember you reap what you sow. One day you may be a mom of a 16 year old daughter. Then and only then will you understand what mom is going through. Even if you don't have a daughter but a son instead. You will still go through the same stage you and your mom is in right now. You're lucky. You only have a couple more years to go to be of legal age. I started going through what you are experiencing right now at the age of 14 years. It was not fun, I have to admit. My mom and I had a few blow outs before I left home. But we always made up and were the best of friends. All good friends have disagreements now and then. That's because they love you and want only the best for you. My youngest is 39 years old. I still have to bite my tongue once in awhile. Not an easy thing to do. But there are times I am proven wrong and there are times I am proven right. At least if I keep my mouth shut, I don't have to hear, "I told you so" or I don't have to say, "I told you so" in the end. I'm just here for my children to applaud them or pick them up. Your mom will do the same for you one of these days.

Answer 3

This is a common thing. But hey, she is the parent. You need to do what she says. She carried you for 9 months and has raised you as well as you are. Raising kids is a VERY HARD job. You need to respect her a lot more than you do. You are her baby and all she is tryign to do is help you grow into a young woman but protect you from the evil worl at the same time. I took my advice into consideration when I was your age. My mom is my best friend and yes we have or differences once in a blue moon, but I'd give my life for her because I love her and I know she'd do the same for me. I feel bad for the way I treated her sometimes when I was younger... funny thing is...she doesn't care. Respect is something a parent and only a parent does not have to earn, it should be given.

Answer 4

Well, then people tend to always find fault with their kids - the
big thing is to give her as little to find fault in.

So keep the room picked up - isn't easier to put something away
after you use it than to have to pick it up later? Once you get in
the habit of keeping stuff picked up as you go - just like washing
dishes as you cook a meal - you don't have as much to pick up or clean up later.

As to clothing - well, have a talk with her and see what she considers acceptable and what you consider acceptable - perhaps you can work out a compromise there. You may be allowed to wear more 'questionable' items in certain places than at school or on a date.

The big thing is to keep the channel of communication open with her. You aren't going to be home much longer, so be patient and go with the flow. Once you leave the house, you can do what you want.

Answer 5

You need to communicate your feelings for her. let her know how much you love her. try and spend time together doing thing you both love to do, just the two of you. I think you have got a good background to having a wonderful relationship together, you just need close the age gap. I promise you that 40 year olds and 16 year olds can have fun together, so find something you both like and make a date of it, ie Mom can you and I go to the movies this weekend, just the two of us? Once you are out of your mother daughter rolls you will begin to have fun together and she will stop fussing over the little things. Try and keep you room tidy though, ask her for help in getting organized.

Answer 6

Do you have a printer? If so, as a Mother, the best way you could explain your feelings when you are frustrated like this, Print this, and show it to her. Its so much easier on both of you if the love shines thru, and the love you have for your Mom and Dad, is evident in your writing. Sometimes, when a child is as good of kid as you seem to be, we expect perfection as a parent. We shouldn't! Its not fair to you to set those kind of expectations in everything you do, right down to cleaning your room. Show your Mom this, it explains how much you love her, and that your getting a little stressed by the situation. Hopefully, she will understand and the two of you can come to a compromise. I admire your ability to express your love for your parents, so many teens are unable to do that. Good Luck

Answer 7

You talk as if you already forgive them for they're actions towards you, so what is the problem? That is a question you have to ask yourself. Parents are important people in our lives and if you have the ones that care and stay on your butt to make sure you do right! Then be very very greatful, cause it is to many children that wish that they had someone to tell them to pick up the clothes or clean the room. Life is to short to trip over small things so appreicate and don't be unhappy, be happy!

Answer 8

Than tell them that Honey. Don't tell us. You sound like a great kid, your Mom appears to be attempting to instill a little responsibility in you. Take a Saturday and thoroughly clean your room, cleaning the bed linens,vaccuming, everything. Once that is done just stay on top of it daily and the mess won't become overwhelming. Do the dishes once in awhile, vacuum for Mom once in awhile,little things like this will get Mom off your back.

Answer 9

I think you should be able to sit down and discuss it honestly and open-heartily with your mom/parents. Whichever you feel is what you need. If your mom loves you and you love her, and shes open-minded like you said. I would do your best to sit down and talk with her. Perhaps you can go out to a lunch together and tell her you would like to discuss some matters. Tell her shes raised you well and you are grounded with it, you will not turn from it, but you need the opportunity to show her your individuality, and that you are a mature teenager. Goodluck!

Answer 10

demi, you are 16, someday when you have your own teen aged daughter this will all be crystal clear....
My daughter and I were the same, she is 21 now and we both get it, but, it was not just her that had to change I did too, we both needed educating...don't take all the heat yourself, mommy is having some trouble letting go...she knows somewhere in the back of her mind that you are growing up and she, quite frankly doesn't like it.
If you wrote in and said you are 16 and you and your mom were best friends and NEVER fought, I would be sriously worried..you are right on schedule!!!!!