time education.He hasnt paid me a penny for well over 12 mths,cos he said he could not afford it.I have always worked altho at he moment things are tight,hours at work have been cut and my new partner has just set up his own business.I dont want to go through the csa that would take too long and he said he would give up work so he wouldnt have to pay me a penny.He currnetly lives with his new partner and her 1 child.He does not see much of his children cos that is the way his partner likes it she drove my kids away by making them feel bad if they wanted a packet of crisps that she had paid for!!If they went to his house i had to provide there food so they would not starve.They no longer visit them but im sick of him refusing to take responsibilty for them,we had a house together,i have paid the mortgage and paid for the refurb as he left it in such a state when i took it back from him due to him not paying.Can i take to him to court to sort this mess,his name is still on mortgage
2007-01-29 23:52:31 · 17 answers · asked by happylove_bunny 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Firstly get yourself a solicitor - you do not want his name on your mortgage, he is still entitled to half your property and property prices have risen substantially this year! Most solicitor firms offer a payment method, I paid for my divorce at £75/mth until it cleared and they were more than happy for that.
As for child support, the ONLY way to make him pay up is to use the CSA. Whilst they are fairly cr*p at sorting problems and arrears etc; they will get you something. Don't believe that he will chuck in his job, it is an empty threat, his new partner wouldn't want him doing that or it would also affect their life. Make the call today, you can only get it backdated to the time you make the initial call, log all names/departments aswell.
If you want to work out what your entitled to, it will be calculated as:- his take home pay, less 15% (for HER CHILD!!), then 20% of what is left would come to your kids while the eldest is in full time education, afterwards that would be reduced to 15%.
He sounds like a d*ck, sadly there are lots of them about including my ex! Good luck x
2007-01-30 00:02:58 · answer #1 · answered by lisaandmax 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is quite possible that he can't afford that some of money per week or maybe pressure is being applied to him by his new partner. I don't understand why you are unwilling to go to the CSA - I appreciate that it may take a little bit of time to set up everything but then again it's taken you 12 months to get to present position. You say that he would stop working to avoid paying - do you really believe that his current partner would allow that to happen?
You do need to get legal advise about the mortgage on the property though. The current situation is that if you sold the property then he would be entitled to a 50% share of the proceeds - are you happy for this to happen? You need to get his consent for his name to be removed from the title deeds - only a solicitor can help you with this.
Good Luck.
2007-01-30 00:08:07 · answer #2 · answered by ragingmk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/Jotgr
Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.
Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.
She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!
Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!
2016-07-19 22:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in the UK you can no longer take ex partners to court over maintenance issues they all have to be dealt with through the CSA unless you can come to some amicable agreement. I know it seems totally unreasonable how he is behaving but do not let it consume you I made that mistake. My ex was paying 600 a month for his 2 year old and his 4 year old when we split up. They are now 10 and 12 and he pays £40 a month and has done for the last 5 years at least. He is in arrears of £6,000 with the CSA but he was made redundant and his new wife told him to become a house husband so he doesn't have to pay maintenance for his children with me. He chose to do just that. They have two children of their own one from her previous relationship and one together both of whom attend private school.
The only thing I can suggest is hand it over to the CSA and let them deal with it. In the meantime don't become bitter and twisted over it. Give your children all the love and attention you can and become the better parent by rising above it. If he is prepared to give up work just to avoid his responsibilites he is like my ex and doesn't deserve the privilege of being a parent anyway.
2007-01-30 01:21:35 · answer #4 · answered by SHARON A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If his name is still on the mortgage you may have major problems. The first thing you need to do is get him off the mortgage and deeds to the house. You need to see how much you paid for the house, what you have put into the mortgage personally and how much you have paid to make it livable. I am afraid to say that you may need to buy him out of any remaining balance. You need to let you bank know that you are now paying the mortgage and they need to remove him from the records. The best thing to do is to phone their helpline or go into your branch to see what information they require.
As for maintenance, if you take him to court you can sort everything out at the same time, including the house and proper custody of your children. Even if he doesn't want to see them he still has to support them. Go to a divorce lawyer and get it sorted. I wouldn't advise the CSA as they are actually really crap. Good Luck!
2007-01-30 00:03:54 · answer #5 · answered by Ria K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoke to your ex about how much he could give you for the children if he feels he couldn't afford £60 a week ? I would try to avoid involving the courts purely because if you have a joint mortgage still with your ex he could demand the house be put up for sale . I am guessing that is the last thing you want to do .
I have never received a penny in maintenance for my child in 12 years and to be honest I am now at the point were I wouldn't accept it even if he decided to help me raise our child finical.
Good luck and I hope he steps up to the plate sooner rather then later and does what he morally should do for his own children.
2007-01-30 00:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by scorpionbabe32 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should definately take him to court and get the csa involved too. If he does give up his job he will have to claim benefits to be able to support himself and his new partner, this means that his benefits will be reduced and you will still get some money off him and he wont have a say in the matter.
Good luck hun, iv got my fingers crossed for you!
2007-01-30 00:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by angelcakes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/4mL6h
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-21 14:31:05 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take his lame a s s to court. Although, if he isn't paying anyway, why not get CPS involved. I am sure if he gave up work his new partner wouldn't be happy since they also have a child to support. I would call his bluff. He is trying to dodge his responsibilities by shooting off idle threats.
2007-01-30 00:01:47 · answer #9 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you would be better off going round his house getting him to sign the house over to you ,and tell him if he dose that he can forget matinance, otherwise he would be able to make you sell the house when both the kids finish school , you and your partener would come unstuck then, get it sorted one way or another, in the end the kid's will be loyal to you and their step dad rather than to him,he sound's a waste of space, for you own sake though never run their father down in front of your kid's.
2007-01-30 03:46:59 · answer #10 · answered by twinsters 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋