Last year I had a fling with a guy from work. He threatened to write a letter to my boyfriend so I told my BF all about it, left him and went to live with my Mum. In the months since he's taken me off the mortgage of our house (i.e I've lost everything) and I've been with the other man but in my heart I still love my ex BF.
Yesterday I finished with the other man, told him I had things on my mind, didn't want a relationship blah blah blah. Just not the truth that I still love my ex.
I feel absolutely gutted today. Don't know what to do with myself.
Any ideas??
2007-01-29 22:58:05 · 21 answers · asked by mackembabe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Can you try and talk to your boyfriend,we all make mistakes,its what life's about,learning from them.Dont beat yourself up about what you did,if b/friend wont take you back,you will appreciate things more in the future and you will be fine cause i think your a mackam and we are always fine,take care hun and good luck x
2007-01-29 23:09:23 · answer #1 · answered by NATALIE W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately from where your ex is standing it probably looked like you left him for the other guy (even though he threatened you with telling your b/f?).
You need to build the trust between you again. This will (if its even possible) take a lot of time. Maybe contact him, and just tell him it was a mistake. Don't try and get back with him. Let him know that you're thinking of him and you'd appreciate his counsel and being friends. Don't rush anything. Take up lots of hobbies and interest so that you become a 'well rounded' woman (maybe a musical instrument) dedicate yourself to being a richer person (in the emotional sense). Make sure you see him once a week or so, tell him all the interesting things you've been doing. At no point make it look like you can't get along without him. Be confident. Make it clear you have no other man in your life, you don't need one and the only one you would accept would be him (don't tell him this, just kind of make it understood). This way he sees you looking strong and not needy. Guys don't like needy. Spend some time on you, fall back in love with yourself and hopefully he will too. Good luck
2007-01-29 23:29:01 · answer #2 · answered by Em 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do feel for you in some way. You should let your EX know how you are feeling, you never know he might just give you another chance, with any luck.
Near think the grass is greener as it near is really. It must have been hard to split with you ex as this other bloke made you really, you should have finished with the other and stayed with your ex but hey things happen for a reason. Try and talk to your ex in some way and explain even if its in a letter or a phone call. Good luck hope you sort this mess out and its playing on your mind. People do make misstakes remember so you are not alone on this im sure there are many people that feel te same as you or done the same. Chin up
2007-01-29 23:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To stand any chance of your ex ever forgiving your betrayal you need to earn back his trust. Sorry this is going to sound harsh but you are still lying" Why should he forgive you and take you back? Be honest with your ex be honest with the guy from work and most importly be honest with yourself because I do not think you are. Try answering the questions just for yourself: Why did you cheat in the first place? Why did you get with a man who tried to blackmail you? why do you need a man to reaffirm your existance? Concentrate on you for a bit what is going on inside your head what causes you to behave the way you do, accept yourself be happy with you and then you will be ready to let someone else love you and share your future.
All the best x
2007-01-29 23:41:54 · answer #4 · answered by tigger_pooh_on_you 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems a little like your not really sure what you want and where you are going. Stop take a back step and think about where your heading. OK you made a mistake with your Ex, it happens, we all make mistakes. You have clearly realised your mistake, and that's part of life. If you really think you and your ex can work things out, I would suggest you talk to him honestly, give things time and him space, and see what happens. If there is no way back Chalk it down to experience and move on.
Well good luck with what ever your decide and hope things work out for you.
2007-01-30 01:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by djp6314 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is what happens when you want your cake and eat it too. Old saying my DAD used to tell me: "you've made your bed now sleep in it"
The choices you've made have been selfish and self absorded. You were only thinking of your own self gratification when you started a fling with the guy from work---you did it for the thrill for the moment---
If you didn't want a relationship with this dude then why did you enter into one?
You really need to take some time and self analysis of yourself---don't burden anyone else with your baggage until you can get your priorities and values in place!
2007-01-29 23:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's taken you off the mortgage somehow, that could be a good thing. Taking your name off the deed is something different...can't be done without your blessing. A lawyer (or legal aid if you're broke) can fix that for you.
They say you can't help who you love, but I don't believe that. You can love someone and they can still be an asshole. There are too many good people out there for you to waste your time on one that does not care for you, or in a relationship that is one-sided.
2007-01-29 23:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by steve.c_50 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone makes mistakes...Your first mistake was allowing this so called fling to blackmail you like he did...I would of called him on his bluff and then went to your boyfriend and been honest and at the same time admit you made a mistake and that you love him and dont want to loose him...After telling him that I would have packed up my stuff and leave...Giving your bf time to think...The mistake you made was choosing the one you dont even want to be with only because you felt you probably needed to be with someone...Good Luck...You might have lost your bf because of your actions...So use this as a live and learn tool...
2007-01-29 23:09:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatley doll you made your bed so you have to lie in it. What you did in my eyes is the worst thing somebody could do in a relationship. if you loved your bf that much even after treating him the way you did you should of never kept seeing the other bloke and fought for what you wanted... i'd say forget them both and move on. sorry :--(
2007-01-29 23:22:55 · answer #9 · answered by dubgirl26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to make up with ur ex
if he agrees that its the best
but life always doesnt give wat v want from it
so if that happens with u too then try to explore good qualities in the guy who loves u now
but my gut feeling says says that u ex wud accept u if he dont have any gf at present,or u may say 2 ur ex that u gonna wait for him
n do tell him that u urself gone for the break off from this another man for him bcoz u still love him n no one can be placed in ur heart other than him
i know wat is true love ..thats y m wishing u from my heart...just call him now
all the best
2007-01-29 23:21:18 · answer #10 · answered by stunning.sheena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋