i've been going out with my girlfriend for a while now and she's a smoker. My family has a long history of cancer due to smoking and i have been going to funerals since i was a small boy. what should i do about it? im really stuck, cause i really like her!
2007-01-29 21:03:33 · 18 answers · asked by toon_army_brat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well that happened to me at first bruv. my girl smokin and me not. but in the end everyone kept saying how much it calms you down now i smoke. i kept asking her to quit but once your addicted your f.u.c.k.e.d. just try anything and i hope she quit. k. frosty
2007-01-29 21:07:22 · answer #1 · answered by Kid Fro$ty / $up3rman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you really talked to her about it? If so and she doesn't want to quit, she'll feel like you're antagonizing her. Maybe you both have a yuck habit you both could quit at the same time. Surely you do something that irritates her too. If not, you might have to either suck that one up or move on. Quitting smoking isn't impossible but like other things its a hard habit to break. Most smokers are well aware of the facts of the diseases it causes but they are so addicted to nicotine, they find it very hard to quit.
2007-01-30 05:10:30 · answer #2 · answered by LA Law 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are some things missing from your question.. First off, did she smoke when you met her? If she did and you let her know that didn't bother you, then her reaction to you telling her it bothers you now is not going to be that pretty. But if you met and she knows this bothers you tell her how you feel. She may respect where you are coming from. If you let her know in the beginning you didn't like it then she should know this would come up when you started dating. But if you went on like everything was fine in the beginning and didn't tell her on day one that you dint like smoking then you are stuck really. Talk to her. See if you can help her quit. But if you know she is just going to keep smoking and that bothers you that much, you need to go. You may like her, but this too shall pass.
2007-01-30 05:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...well I'm a smoker and if I really liked a guy and he explained how he felt, I would chose him over smoking. If she's willing to quit, support her and help her through it and understand it's not easy and it will take a lot of patience. But expecting her to change something that would only benefit her health isn't a bad thing at all.
2007-01-30 05:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you fooled yourself into believing you could change her. I do not believe in saying if you don't stop, I'll leave. This is what you need to do. BREAK UP WITH HER! If she asks you why, be honest but gentle. Tell her you love her too much to bury her early and that you can't stand by and watch her slowly kill herself. Stick to your guns...and don't take her back. If and when she is butt free you should only then reconsider. My Aunt just died at 48 years old from lung cancer and trust me...it wasn't pretty at all. Oh lastly, be careful about second hand smoke...is she is smoking around you she could outlast you! Here's one more suggestion...stop kissing her...no matter what don't kiss her and when she asks why the change tell her you can't overlook the smoking anymore.
2007-01-30 05:13:35 · answer #5 · answered by aprildin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her abt it! Explain why u cant stand it and say that u really, really care abt her so u would like her to stop smoking for her own sake. Make her feel cared for and DON'T push her into stopping. Gently urge her along and support her and let her know u'll always be there for her. (Make sure u keep this promise!) Get her to do stuff that will keep her mind off withdrawal symptoms and off cigarrettes. Keep her away from places where people r smoking and/or are selling cigarrettes whenever u r with her.
2007-01-30 05:15:04 · answer #6 · answered by whitefang 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your between a rock and a hard place. no smoker thinks it will happen to them. ( cancer) trying to convince her to give it up will be a up hill battle. and will more than likely take its toll on the relationship . it seems your choices are take a stand / or ride the train. if it bothered me this much i would take the stand now !! you will find out how addicted she is to nicotine .. at least you could cut your losses now . and find a non smoking girlfriend..
who knows she may really love you and quite ...
2007-01-30 05:19:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I imagine that you have talked to her about this before. Time for her to get serious now. Let her know that her smoking habit is hurting you, not physically, but emotionally. To quit smoking is extremely difficult. When she is ready to come to terms with it, make sure you have all the proper "Quit Smoking" resources to help her. If she can't come to terms with it, then I guess you'll have to make a decision of whether you can be happy in the relationship with her.
2007-01-30 05:12:11 · answer #8 · answered by shaunaxo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to give someone the ultimatum of STOP SMOKING OR I'LL LEAVE YOU. But you just might have to. Get with a non-smoker, so you don't have to watch her destroy herself.
Good Luck with that, man!
2007-01-30 05:07:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i smoke and my bf doesnt but you really need to think about this. If you loved her then you would not mind. I plan to quit soon but for my own reasons. If you tell her to quit or you will leave i hope she kicks your a s s to the curb!!!
Its her decision and her life not yours.
By all means tell her it bothers you and then she might not smoke around you. I still smoke but not around my bf (unless we are in a pub or somewhere where you would usually smoke).
If you love her you will deal with it!
2007-01-30 05:26:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind if she smokes around you...you are breathing in more of the toxic air than she is. I don't believe in giving people ultimatums in a relationship...but in this case, she would either quit, or you will walk away. It's literally a matter of life and death
2007-01-30 05:07:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋