shes is 12 years of age and confided in me she had slept with a 15 year old guy and needed the morning after pill. she darent tell her mum or her dad. i got it for her and she has made me promise i wont tell anyone. i feel like my conscience is eating away at me and i know if her dad found out i had done this he would end our relationship. what would you do???
2007-01-29 20:54:48 · 15 answers · asked by carly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think it is wonderful this little girl confided in you. You made a promise and you should stick to it. However, along with your promise you should have made her promise to go with you to your local Planned Parenthood or a clinic in your area that can help you educate her about birth control and abstinence. You must put her on birth control. 12 is really too young to be having sex and the clinic can also advise you of your local laws. I would also think about having a "chat" with this young man. Threaten to contact the authorities because it may be and should be illegal to have sex with a child that young. Good Luck and remember she trusted you this time...if you break your promise there will not be a next time.
2007-01-29 21:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by aprildin 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The issue is not you giving her a pill but the fact that a 12 year old child has the opportunity to have sex. There are bigger issues here than the one about you and your relationship with the father. Think of what is best for the girl and not you and your partner. If you cannot focus on helping a 12 yo girl having sex then your conscience should be easily placated.
2007-01-30 05:11:42 · answer #2 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think in this case that this young lady is out of control and playing a very dangerous game. As an adult you should have talked to her Father way before you got the pill. Now by acting like a 12 year old yourself you have put your entire relatioship in jeopardy. I would ask you this if that had been your daughter and the shoe was on the other foot how would you have felt?
2007-01-30 06:38:00 · answer #3 · answered by blueblossom33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you may or may not do the right thing. That will be up to your morals. It was wrong of you. If she is 12, you need to be a role model and not a friend. 12 years old is too young to deal with this sort of thing. You need to accept what you did was not the right choice and step up to the plate. Admit it to her father. Tell him you realize what you did wasn't right. If he is a true friend and a man, he will appreciate your honesty. You will have to mend a hurt 12 year old feelings, and watch her get counseled on having sex at 12! but that's better than watching her get raped or getting an STD.
2007-01-30 05:03:31 · answer #4 · answered by the man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to this little girl to not only keep the secret as you have promised her you will (you don't want her losing faith in you and adults in general at this sensitive age), but to talk to her about her sexuality. She's so young that she really can't understand the seriousness of her actions, although she has shown some sensibility in seeking out the morning after pill, but you really need to talk to her about how if she's now going to be sexually active (and we all know no matter what you tell her, she's not going to stop now she's started) she needs to be a lot more sensible and mature about it. If she doesn't have the guts to ask a guy to wear a condom she should realize she's not ready to have sex with this guy.
2007-01-30 05:02:54 · answer #5 · answered by RIffRaffMama 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are bound by your promise. You are also bound to consider her health and well being. Somehow, you need to build a bridge between this little girl and her parents that will allow her to bring her personal problems to them. (Easy for me to say). She desperately needs some serious advice about her sexual health either from her parents, you or another responsible adult. It's no good saying she's only 12, she shouldn't be having sex; she's already having sex and you have to deal with this reality. I think you did the right thing, by the way. That your partner would end your relationship if he found out doesn't give me great confidence in his ability to deal with his daughter's emerging sexuality; it may become by default your responsibility. Thank heavens she has you to turn to.
2007-01-30 05:24:42 · answer #6 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that was good that she confided in you, but also I think you overstepped the bounds of your relationship with your boyfriend. I would tell her that you're happy she felt she could trust you, but explain to her how you had to betray her father's trust to help her. Then tell her that if this happens again you will have no choice but to tell her father. I think she needs to know that although she can trust you, your first priority is to her father. Perhaps speak with her about sex as 12 years old is way too young. Good Luck.
2007-01-30 05:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by cupcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you handled the situation pretty well.. If it were me I would do the same thing.. I would get her the pill but I would also talk to her about how young she is and how she shouldnt be having sex.. I agree with what another person wrote though.. This time is alright to stay quiet, but if she has to have you do that again, her parents really need to know. It is good that she confides in you, but dont let her use you so she wont be in trouble with her parents for doing somthing she knows she shouldnt be doing.
2007-01-30 05:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal D 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have to tell.... She is 12........ Had unprotected sex....... Got pregnant. She needs to be checked by a dr. to make sure she is ok now.
Not to mention getting tested for HIV and other STD's An STD could leave her unable to ever have a baby if it goes untreated.
She is a child and 12 is far far too young to handle sex. God only know what kind of infection she could have. What if the sex happened further back then she told you. She needs to see a DR asap.
Would you want to know if it was your daughter?
2007-01-30 08:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by tammer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone needs to take her and put her on birth control. Thank God shes not pregnant. I think you should tell her mother. If she has done it once, most likely it will happen again.
I cannot believe these people telling you you are bound to your promise, shes a child, are you going to be responsible for her when she gets preg, or std, her mother needs to know. my god shes `12 yrs old, and you are an adult act like one. You can't be her buddy. If it happens again they say, of course its going to happen again.
2007-01-30 04:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by beatch38 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋