My marriage is 2 years old, i have one baby boy.there is some misunderstanding between wife and my mother.
2007-01-29 17:53:43 · 33 answers · asked by Manish. T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She's telling you to stop being a mama's boy.
2007-01-29 17:57:21 · answer #1 · answered by Jolly1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say what the misunderstanding is but whatever it is you had better fix it soon. This can ruin your marriage or your relationship with your mother. When you married you probably said vows and one of them may have been to forsake all others and cleave unto your wife. Your wife is wrong to say you have to choose between them but you do have a greater responsibility to your wife and child now. Get to the bottom of the problem and work it out. You can do this without hurting either of them and yet not have to be in the middle for the rest of your life.
2007-01-29 18:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people will tell you choose your wife and some will tell you to go for you mom, BUT you know what, there are some relations which are disposable, and there are some that are not disposable, your wife, kid and mom all are not at all disposable. Your wife should not have said such a thing since she herself is a MOM, and secondly you cannot separate a man from his mother. But you cannot always listen to your mother because now you are married and you mother should now limitize HER RIGHTS on you.
have a family meeting and make people sit face to face listen to everything and if things go bad, separate with your wife but tell her clearly that you will never stop meeting your mom. that way you can take care of your mom all the time by visiting her anytime you want, and give complete attention to your wife and kid at home.
2007-01-29 18:25:46 · answer #3 · answered by Saint N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get it all out in the open heres what I would do first I would talk with your wife find out whats going on why she doesnt like your mother I would not choose you know a mother should never be out of their childs life because their wife made them choose I think personally your wife should feel ashamed I dont know of anything more absured than a situation like this you should not have to be in this situation if you choose your wife what ill happen with the 2 year old when he grows up choose his wife over you what your wife what you need to ask your wife is what would you do if our son choose his wife over you? Then mabey she''ll think about what she just asked you to do if this doesnt help I would try to get everyone togather or I would try counseling. That would be you best bet. Im sorry to hear about this. Just remember that your son will always be yours and that if something happens and your wife and you do split just think its not that child fault he will still need a father. Good Luck and Prayers to you and your mother.
2007-01-29 18:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand your situation so i would like to suggest you to get a house away from your parents. it should be far from your house where you stay with your wife but not so far it should be about a ride of 20 minutes between your house and your parents so that you are close enough but not too close.(you should be able to get your own space.)
the issue that has come up between your wife and your mother is because, at an age the parents are fixed with certain views that were prominent at their time so they expect the same from you!
you and your wife are of the next generation so your views would be more open when compared with your parents so these two views clash with each other and this leads to aggression.
you will experience the same with your children too so be open and truthful with your family and the issues will not affect you after you are used to it
you said you have a baby boy so keep him away from all this.at this age his mind will be affected with all this and it will leave a long and deep impact in your childs mind.
2007-01-29 18:17:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to choose between her or your parents. Thats silly. These are two different types of love. Your parents will always be there until they past away. She should try to make it work, it is not easy but once you get there life will be so much better. My spouse and I have been together since he was 17 and I 19 years old, now we are 39 and 41 yrs old. At first I didn't see eye to eye with his mom. I started to respect her and now I call her mom too. Its awesome the relationship now, but it wasn't always like that. Tell her to try harder nothing is easy . Is your mom nice to her? After all they both love you and you shouldn't have to pick ever!! You both have that little boy to care for and he needs both of you together. Tell her you totally love her and your son but you also love your parents and your not picking anyone over anyone thats it. You must focus on being a good dad and husband, tell your mom to help you by treating her good when their together or buy her something special at Christmas from your parents basically saying they are happy she is in the family. Good luck
2007-01-29 18:10:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your wife you love her, but explain to her you also love your parents. Tell her it is unfair of her to ask you to choose and that you will not choose. If she truly loves you, she will calm down and understand what a ridiculous demand that is. But, at the same time you need to talk to your parents about whatever happened and make them understand you must stand with your wife. Of course, if whatever happened was something stupid and your wife is making a big deal over it, she just needs to mature a little bit and get over it. Remind her, when she married you she also married your family just as you married hers. That's just the way things are. While you are having this talk with her, remind her several times how much you love her.
2007-01-29 20:01:35 · answer #7 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom you are sorrry but this thing they have going on is hurting your marriage. Maybe that will make he back off. Its a hard call depending on who you feel is right, but remember.. you do live with your wife every day. So which would you say is a better choice. I feel that the husband should side with the wife but I also had a brother in law that sided with his wife and I felt she was a b---- and was wrong, and wished he would tell her to shut up, and side with his mom.So I guess its a hard call.
2007-01-29 19:01:10 · answer #8 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get married your spouse becomes your first priority. It even says so in the Bible. You need to work things out with your wife and make her feel like she and your son are the most important people in your life. You should love and respect your parents but don't let them come between you and your wife. It sounds like you need to have a talk with your Mom and get this worked out.
2007-01-30 02:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may be cultural issues here, but in the West your first duty is to your wife, forsaking all others, and this includes your mother if she refuses to cooperate.
If your mother cannot bear your wife, there's nothing you can do about that: you must protect and defend your wife from your mother, and if necessary you must take her and your kid somewhere else where she cannot interfere with your lives. That's your duty as a man.
2007-01-29 18:00:56 · answer #10 · answered by 2n2222 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you feel you need to do? Ask your wife how she would feel if your son's wife gave him a choice like that - not too good I'm sure. You are suppose to leave your mother and father and cleve to your wife, but you are also to honor your mother and father that your days are long. So, maybe you can talk to your mother to ask her to not be so overbearing and needy (if that is the problem), but also to your wife to ask that she be a little more understanding and patient. Good Luck
2007-01-29 20:03:53 · answer #11 · answered by TAS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋