What's wrong with me?

Question

I am smart, fun, and pretty. I have an okay job and I'm working my way up. I pay my own way in life as best I can. I live in a big city (Seattle) and I am active in lots of stuff. The problem is I can't get a date!

Every time I'm interested in a guy, everytime I find someone who seems to be a match for me, he says he's not interested or just blows me off. Every time a guy asks me out, he turns out to be a wierdo or a drug addict or something. The only serious relationship I've ever had was years ago, and I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me.

When I look at myself, I think I'm a pretty good catch, but nobody worthwhile seems to agree!

Answer 1

I so wish I had an answer to this question; it's happened to me DOZENS of times. Have you tried a vow of celibacy? Seriously: promise yourself that you're not going to do anything physical with a guy for the next six (three, twelve, one) months. Any man you meet will have to wait until the end of that period to get past the friend stage. Then the pressure is off for finding someone.

Use that time to work on you. Join a gym, take a girlfriend to the opera, take up bellydancing, find a church - whatever you have always wanted or meant to do but never had the time. Hang out with the new people you meet, but remember that promise to yourself: men are strictly friends. Eventually you will stop thinking that you need a man and start enjoying life - and then someone perfect will come along.

Easier said than done, I know, but give it a shot.

Answer 2

Hi Hun - nothing is wrong with u , the only thing i am guessing is that when you do accept a date , u are expecting it all to turn put the way u want it to - hun - you cant find the "prince of your life over-nite - a relationship takes time - time to understand the other
time for the other to understand you and you gradually bond .
Your opinion about yourself has got to stay within you >>>
"smart , fun , pretty , independent >>> dont you think this opinion should be coming from others about you ?
perhaps this is the problem - you are simply overconfident of yourself and expect too much from others >>> perhaps it shows
in your exposure in public - this usually does and you are not aware - to you you feel you are the perfect chick around
Try being simple , more considerate towards others feelings
be a listener / advisor - and NOT QUICK TO MAKE JUDGEMENT OF OTHERS , >>>> wierdos , drug addicts
they all have hearts too u know , they could give up all their addictions for the right person - could that be for You ?
sorry hon - i,m not suggesting u date a drug addict - but i'm sure u know what i mean >>> all 5 fingers are not the same
life is a give and take game >> it can never be perfect >>>
you seem like a wonderful person >> and i'm sure you are going to meet someone wonderful as yourself >> he is probably around the corner from u , just gotta look - hon ,
wish you the best

Answer 3

Nothing is wrong with you. If all you say is true there is probably something else going on in other people's minds to be intimidated by you! Some guys are very intimidated by looks (obviously), career success, and also the smarts dept. It seems that you only have the package that any "well-rounded" man could appreciate. It's just that right guy has not met you yet! As far as you saying that any time a guy does ask you out he turns out to be a "weirdo" or "drug addict"...this is probably true because a lot of this style of people throw intimidation to the wind. You will do fine, just keep your self-confidence up and try some dating sites, group (preferably singles) activity sites, or clubs in your city..... Good Luck.

Answer 4

Here's the trick, don't even think about getting a guy or a relationship. In fact, tell yourself that your life couldn't possibly improve if you met someone else because your life is way too fullfilling anyhow. In other words, don't obsess over it. I know it's tough. It took me a bit of time to meet someone worthwhile after I had a horrible relationship and I thought I never would. I just started doing things for myself and for myself only. I started working out, reading more and starting a hobby that took alot of time & energy. I got lonely sometimes but I kept telling myself this little mantra. I stoppped obsessing about meeting and guy and wham-o, I met one. It's ironic but you almost have to trick yourself into not wanting what you really want and it will present itself. I know it sounds stupid as he*l but it's always worked for me. I don't put alot into a date or expect much from a guy when I first meet them and then I'm not disappointed when it doesn't work out (which happens ALOT!). Just try it, in a few months you'll be engrossed in yourself and that's usually when the universe decides to send you a nice guy.

Answer 5

Sometimes we can make ourselves look desperate, by wanting a guy so much. i bet your still young? One day you will turn around and when your not looking, the guys will be looking at you. Relax it will happen.

Answer 6

i thought u have to open up ur face mask---u always see that all guys want u just because ur pretty,smart,fun or something like that.but something that all guys want is INNER BEAUTY and good ATTITUDE,understand????!!!