>The Summary of Life
>
>
>
>
>GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
>
>1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
>2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
>3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
>second person.
>4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
>5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
>6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
>7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
>8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
>9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
>10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
>
>
>GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
>
>1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
>2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
>3) Families are like fudge..mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
>4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
>5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
>6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
>
>
>
>
>
>GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
>
>1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
>2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
>3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
>there.
>4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
>chair that you
>once got from a roller coaster.
>5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
>ask you the questions.
>6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
>7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>
>
>
>
>THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
>
>1) You believe in Santa Claus.
>2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
>3) You are Santa Claus.
>4) You look like Santa Claus.
>
>
>
>SUCCESS:
>
>At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
>At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
>At age 17 success is . . having a drivers license.
>At age 35 success is . . having money.
>At age 50 success is . . . having money.
>At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers license.
>At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
>At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
2007-01-29 17:26:33 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LLOOLL! *Hands star over* XD!!! OMGOSH!!! SOOO LOL!!!!
2007-01-29 17:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by FAswimmerST 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person - so true. Or in my case - it was my brother and I always got caught
2007-01-29 18:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by angelicpanda27 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he were briefs summary.
2016-03-29 09:16:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats very funny.
2007-01-30 00:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by Gsplan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
heard some of it before but even funnier when pulled together lol
2007-01-29 19:29:41 · answer #5 · answered by deepee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well what can i say pmsl they r corkers 10/10
2007-01-29 19:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good one.!!!
10/10.!!!
2007-01-29 23:39:03 · answer #7 · answered by JAM123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha hah , it all sounds just about right to me mate !!
2007-01-29 18:13:28 · answer #8 · answered by nicemanvery 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enjoyed.Very good.
2007-01-29 20:26:11 · answer #9 · answered by tobybites 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
goooddiiieee
I liked them all, great!
2007-01-29 17:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by wild_pig_is_playing_now 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋