I have a best friend and her birthday is coming up at the end of this week. She is going to have a birthday party. The only thing is I have an issue with one person she is inviting to her party. And, I'm thinking of not going because I cannot stand this person. This person have bipolar disorder and talks constantly. We used to be friends however, he would not leave me alone and called me every second of the day. He was just annoying. I'm not friends with him anymore. However, my friend is. We ended on very bad terms. He is most likely going to be at this party but I do not feel comfortable running into him. I bought my friend a present. If I did not attend this party would this be considered rude on my part?
2007-01-29 16:47:47 · 16 answers · asked by brooke992002 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Look at it this way. If you don't take control of your life and make your decisions based on what YOU want to do, your ex-friend with the bi-polar disorder has won and is controlling your actions. If you let one person do this, others will as well and eventually you'll end up confined to your room.
Tell your friend that you would love to come to her party but that you are not on good terms with (fill in the name) and you know she will understand if you don't socialize with him during the event. Then go, enjoy yourself, and wish your friend a very happy birthday.
2007-01-29 17:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should explain to your friend exactly how you feel and that if this person goes it will make you feel very uncomfortable and you'd prefer not to be in that situation but if she still really wanted you to go I think you should. It would be rude not to attend without explaining why. If she still wants you to go and this other person goes just make sure you're not left alone with him and avoid him as much as possible. If you still are feeling uncomfortable leave after a couple of hours. At least you've made your friend happy by attending and not putting yourself in a bad position for too long by leaving early. I hope this helps you, good luck.
2007-01-30 00:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by Topsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally do not think it would be rude, as long as you explain to your friend WHY you will not attend her party. But make sure that you give her a birthday present. If she gets upset with you, just go for a little while. If the guy is there, just make sure that you stay as far away from him as possible. Good Luck!!!
2007-01-30 12:12:21 · answer #3 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your gift over to her ahead of time, give it to her and tell her you really are not comfortable being around the other person. Also tell her you would like to celebrate her birthday with her, does she feel up for a movie sometime after the party (next day, next weekend)? You have to tell her you are not coming, but make her feel she's still your very good friend and you want to celebrate her birthday with her in some way.
2007-01-30 01:19:48 · answer #4 · answered by XOXOXOXO 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe it would be rude if you did not attend. This party is about your best friend - don't make it about you. That is selfish. Just act civil and have fun - one person should not be able to spoil your good time. If he does, then I would question your true feelings about him. If you can't stand him that much, then he has some kind of hold on you. Remember, hate is not the opposite of love - indifference is.
2007-01-30 00:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by Star 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it's really your best friend, then I think you should at least make an appearance. Avoid the annoying guy, if possible, or just be casually polite. If it gets uncomfortable, just leave. I think that's all a caring friend could ask of you, especially since she knows the history between the two of you.
Polly
2007-01-30 01:21:16 · answer #6 · answered by Polly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a doctor's appointment and tell her you cannot go to the party, but then ask her later if you and some other Friends can have a fun night out bowling or at a restaurant, she should be OK with it, just be sure to sound sad about not going.
2007-01-30 01:58:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on your friend. I have friends who are totally cool about things and others where it's like touch them with a feather and they are offended for life. I missed a party for some friends once for a similar reason - being they were inviting several people who can't stand me. Should I go and have them be all rude and then stand up for myself and cause a scene? I don't think so. A true friend will totally understand. If they are immature and petty - they will be all ticked about it.
2007-01-30 00:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You should really attend because your problem is w/ a guest not the guest of honor. Honestly it's immature to decide not to attend because someone you don't like will be there. I don't blame you but you'll miss out on a good time and a memory in the making. Your friend will be hurt too.
This person can't "make" you act rude. If you act civil and they act rude in the end the other person will look like an a**. It's all about maturity.
2007-01-30 00:52:42 · answer #9 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Your friend would think that you are being selfish and be offended. Although, you can take her somewhere else after the party or have a girls night out. You can go to the party too. He probably doesn't want to meet you eithier.
2007-01-30 00:52:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋