I have been dating a guy at work for about 5 months, we've never been sexually intimate with one another.....today he comes into my office and tells me that he cares for me, but has decided to rekindle a relationship with his ex....ok fine..no problem...I am hurting a bit, and i did not react the way I think he wanted me to react when he told me this.
Now he says that he wants to take me out to dinner on Thursday to fully explain this to me.....why does he want to explain any further? I don't need to be tortured any longer
2007-01-29 16:23:36 · 33 answers · asked by Ebonee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is my personal experience that if a man dumps you to go back to an ex...but wants to take you out to dinner, he is probably unsure about the chances of his relationship with the ex working out. He probably wants to give you just enough hope to hold on..in case he remembers the reason he and the ex broke up in the first place. He is looking for reassurance that you like him enough to wait long enough to figure out what he really wants. I would have to advise against going to dinner. It will prolong your "healing" process...and give him the extra four days or so he needs to see if he and his ex will sink or swim. Either way don't take part in whatever he has got planned. Trust me when two people break up it is usually for a reason...and when they try to work it out, it usually isn't long before they are reminded of why they broke up in the first place. Good Luck...
2007-01-29 16:34:11 · answer #1 · answered by christina s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy does not sound like he has his head on straight. Forget about a guy who can't make up his mind - trust me it doesn't get any better even if you two hook-up.
It's easier to stay out then to get out. I was in a similar situation, and the wishy-washy crap can carry over into other aspects of a relationship even if and after you've gotten together.
Been there, done that. That might just be his personality type and it's no fun to be around for the long haul. Find somebody who knows what they want and doesn't flip-flop like that.
2007-01-29 18:23:59 · answer #2 · answered by Cedar_2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are on the right track, you are better off without this guy. He chose his ex over you so why would you want to know anything else. Tell him you're just not interested and hopefully he will go away. But he sounds like the kind of guy who in 5 months will say he's finished with his ex because he really loves you, don't fall for it.
2007-01-29 16:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was there any pressure from him when you were dating? If he tried to pressure you, this could be another attempt to get you to be intimate with him by telling you that he is going back to his ex. Anyway, since you are a woman and not a yo yo, don't allow him to come and go as he pleases. He could have honorable intentions and want to make sure that you are ok emotionally. Some men actually care about women's feelings. Trust your inner feeling.
2007-01-29 16:37:06 · answer #4 · answered by LORD BALTIMORE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not be aware of it, but he wants to inflict further pain and humiliation on you. He wants to feel better about being a jerk and if you forgive him he will not feel so guilty. You can then feel isolated and stranded. The best thing to do is tell him there is nothing more to say unless he proposes to you. (And then turn him down!) Start dating a winner who wants to be with YOU. This guy is a looser! He didn't dump you. YOU dumped HIM!! (And this advise comes from a guy!)
2007-01-29 16:31:22 · answer #5 · answered by Mikey the Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didnt give him the reaction you wanted so he is going to describe this situation in more detail, just to make you squirm, it sounds like to me. If I were you, I would say yes to the dinner. Then that day, call him up or right before work is over, call him over and be like "I have a date tonight. I'm sorry, I cant go," and just walk away. See how he likes that..
2007-01-29 16:29:47 · answer #6 · answered by HayleyD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That brings back memories :O. Maybe he's not "in love" with you, but still loves you as a person; loves your company, loves spending time with you and wants to stay friends. I was in a similar situation myself and we tried to stay friends, but it didn't work, but it was more or less because i ended up feeling resentment towards him,and everything. I kind of regret that now,though, because i can't even imagine how painful it would be if i ever realized that i wasn't in love with my current boyfriend because i would still love him to death as a person and would never want to hurt him and would hope that he could find it in him to try to understand. So as painful as i know it is, hopefully you could try to understand where he's coming from, where you'd be in that position and try to at least salvage a friendship because anything's better than losing everything. I just kind of wish i'd have been strong enough to do that myself.
2007-01-29 16:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Understood 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two options: Or he might want to look like a nice and he is scared of trouble at work since you mentioned you work together or he will try to be with both, like saying she needs him around because of whatever problems but he wants to be with you, dont fall for that!
2007-01-29 16:29:26 · answer #8 · answered by guriazinhainla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he feels guilty, and he thinks that taking you out to dinner and giving you a painfully long explanation would help him feel better. Turn him down. There's no reason to put yourself through that. Unless you want a free dinner, yum!
2007-01-29 16:27:31 · answer #9 · answered by T.M.Y. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are right and i would tell him if he needs to explain then just say what he's got to say that you really don't care. its obvious he wanted you to fall apart over him and when you didn't he decided to see if he could do something else to get your reaction. stay strong, he's a manipulative loser and it really doesn't matter why he's going back to her what matters is you found out what a jerk he is early on and now you can find you a real man.
2007-01-29 16:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋