All of a sudden she lost interest in anything to do with our family, and started cheating on my dad with a lesbian teacher (who she is still with) who worked with her at a Christian boarding school. She has since tried to take half of our farm, tried to gain custody of my two younger siblings (and failed), been violent towards our dogs and my sister and I when she drops the two younger ones off, charged me with being emotionally abusive (when I was 13), charged my dad with domestic abuse (which was not true), dragged us to court half a dozen times over pointless charges, has been intentionally stubborn about access to the younger two, and is now in the process of disowning me to avoid helping pay for University.
Even before she left, she mocked and belittled us over every little thing, often beat us so badly that we could barely stand up afterwards, turned half of our town against her with her “better than you” attitude, drank pretty much all the time, and treated my dad like crap. Now she says that she has gotten over her violent and emotional issues and she wants to have a “mature and loving” relationship with me. After all that she has done is there any way that I can find it in me to forgive her?
2007-01-29 16:17:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow! if this is called a Mother, I wonder what we would call a female Dog who would give her life for her Doggies she just had, Human? I cannot believe this so, called Mother, who is making your family miserable, it is like she has the Devil in her and cannot see any of you be Happy not even for a moment. What does your Father do about all that is going on? And why did he let your Mother do what she is doing to the whole family? I am a Mother, Grandmother, great grandmother, and if someone I would not care if it was a family member, hurt a hair of one of my own, I do not know what I would be capable of doing to that person, let alone beat one of them like your Mom did to you, and your siblings. Why doesn't your dad move you to another place where your Mom would not be able to find you? She is never going to change and I do not think this change took place when she hit the midlife crisis, she always was this way but my guess is that you all got accustomed to the way she was, and the Family did not notice it until she found this other Lady. You do not know how sorry I feel for all you and your siblings have suffered of this abuse, no one and especially kids should be treated that way, Do I think you should forgive her for all she has done to you? If it were me, I would forgive her but, I would not want her to be near or in my life ever again. I am going to pray for all of you and ask God to send his Angels to protect you and your siblings from Harm.
2007-02-06 12:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/3twyN
However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?
You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.
2016-02-12 08:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always a way to forgive your mother. You might not agree with what she did, but you must forgive her. By showing your love for her eventually you can get her to see what she did was wrong. But love is patient. If you don't forgive her, it will only affect your relationship with other people. Unforgiveness can spread like a bad virus if you don't learn to forgive. Love keeps no histroy of wrong done to it. Ask God to give you the strength to forgive your mother and love her.
2007-01-29 16:28:04 · answer #3 · answered by unknown 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to forgive her if only for yourself. It does not mean you have to have a relationship with her. Actions speak lounder than words. Just take it one step at a time. What she did was not right but she is fighting her own battles. You have to forgive her though, not forgiving someone is like taking poision and hoping the other person dies first.
2007-02-06 13:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by healergirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If all this is true, then she cannot expect to just start having a loving mature relationship with you. It will take her a long time and you have to be on your guard, as you know.
Start a relationship with her very slowly and cautiously. Remember the past but see if she makes good on her promise to be mature and loving.
Proceed with great caution.
2007-01-29 16:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by autimom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can say if that's possible.I find that it's harder to forgive when my life is effected negatively.Like it causes me to be someone I don't like at all,or causes me that emotional pain of trying to figure out which end is up.I chose to end my ties with my father because it caused me to be someone I did not like, caused me great emotional pain. Why bring that in .If you can forgive its your choice.Good Luck
2007-01-29 16:33:39 · answer #6 · answered by Smiles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was able to save my marriage thanks to my family and friends. I also read a lot about marital issues and tips on how to save your relationship. The ebook on this site helped me a lot http://savemarriage.toptips.org
Check it out it's worth it.
2014-09-25 22:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing i can say is i know how ya feel my family has had the same sorta problems with our mum after her divorce and the loss of her mother but we sat her down and spoke to her about it helped her through it and its slowly but surely getting better
2007-02-06 13:53:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
time will tell.
Sounds like mental illness. also.
Protect your heart and do what is best for you..
You don't have to have a relationship with her.
Just don't hate her.....................Keep your distance
Drugs and alchoel are evil and change good people to jeckle and hyde
2007-02-06 03:07:18 · answer #9 · answered by tennessee 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am reall sorry
2007-01-29 16:27:50 · answer #10 · answered by Rivana 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋