well see i was wondering if it is normal that my stepmom makes me call me maam' and not mom or mother or anything like that what does that mean or should i try not to read into it too much. im a pretty good kid never really get into a lot of trouble im a straight A student and i still dont understant y i must call her maam. my mother died where i was 11 and im 16 now my dad remarred last year and ever since they got married she, claire, made me call her maam but before they were married i called her claire. she acts so much like a mother but she is really strict, in the car on the way home she makes me explain every part of my day to her and if i critizes somethin like a tree if i say I HATE A TREE i get grounded...... does my stepmom hate me??
2007-01-29 16:17:56 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm a stepmom, and my 10 yo stepdaughter calls me by my first name, or M'aam. Her mother is still alive although she refuses to contact her daughter. I've never had a problem with my sd calling me by my first name, and she's been living with us for 4 years.
Maybe your stepmom is afraid of trying to replace your mom, and is trying to distance herself.
I'm not sure what to say about the grounding....it seems pretty dumb to ground a 16 year old for silly stuff like that. Does she have any children of her own, or are you the first child she has been around in a parental sense?
I would suggest that you sit down and try talking to her. Tell her that you love her and want to have a special name for her. It wouldn't necessarily have to be Mom or Mother since she seems to be skittish about that...but it would be something to warm her up.
I don't think she hates you. I think she's just trying too hard.
Good luck!
Carol
2007-01-30 01:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by Carol S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I said the thing about living with your real mom in the other post. Claire has never been a mother so stepping into this role with a teenager is not an easy situation. She just does not know how to do it. Maam' is not a bad thing. She probably got the idea from a tv show that came on years ago when an adopted child called his adopted mother maam' I feel for you she sounds really weird. I wish you could talk to your dad about it.
2007-01-30 00:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she may have difficulty knowing what you should call her. She knows that your mother is no longer here, and she might feel that Claire isn't appropriate now that she's your step mother. She might have even asked your father what else you could call her since she is now a larger part of your life. Ma'am is normally something from the south that you would hear. Is she from the south? When I hear it, it just makes me think of respect. The term means you have respect for the person you're speaking to.
My step mother was more strict than my dad ever was. I think it was because she wanted to show she was in charge, and earn the respect of you. She may be going through something too. She has to live up to what your mother was. She has to fill her shoes and prove to you that she can be a mother to you as well. It's definitely a delicate issue. My dad made it clear that I was to never call my step mom "mom" and I'm not allowed to call my step dad "dad". He didn't feel it was appriate and I think it would have hurt him otherwise.
I think that you should be glad when your kid wants to call a step parent by "mom" or "dad" because that means that person is doing a good job. It means you like them enough to call them that and you aren't living in some hell.
That's my thoughts.
2007-01-30 01:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she hates you, I just don't think she knows what to disapline. Does ur stepmom have children, I'm thinking not, cause if she did I don't really think she would ground you over saying you hated a tree. Have you spoken to ur dad about this. If not why not try and sit the both of them down and talk to them in a calm voice. Ask them why and tell them you don't understand why you are getting grounded for a particular thing you have said. this will be of help to your stepmom in learning about having a teenager. Also ask her why she likes to be called maam, sounds like she wants ur respect before she has earn't it. hope it all works for you
2007-01-30 00:54:55 · answer #4 · answered by Donna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a real controller,what I can't understand is why she grounds you for criticizing something.Almost all teenagers do that everyday,just don't do it in front of her.Or don't criticize to hurt other people intentionally.You don't have to call her ma'am call her Claire,that is her name anyway.Talk to your dad if things just don't seem right.She shouldn't hate you but maybe she resents being a step mother.But that is her problem not yours.Take Care.
2007-01-30 00:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by Ms Lety 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hate to think that she hates you. But she does sound as tho she may have some issues. Have you expressed your thought/feelings to your dad?
2007-01-30 00:23:53 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess she hate you deep in her heart, but if your dad dote on you, try telling him when she's not around. But best is not if he seem to care about her more than you. anyway, good luck.
2007-01-30 01:49:07 · answer #7 · answered by ahyi89 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋