I think my brother is Bipolar and I would like to hear from anyone out there who is also Bipolar...?

Question

How do you manage this disorder ? Are there any meds out there that are better for this condition than others ? My brother is only 25 years old...I'm 36. He gets so ill and somewhat violent with horrible language...over the slightest things. Like recently, he was trimming his crew-cut hair with clippers and then all of a sudden burst into a rage because the clippers weren't working properly. He was cussing horribly and even told me to shut the f**k up when I told him his hair looked fine. He also has a history of using drugs and alcohol, which amplifies his problem and temper. He can be calm and gentle, funny and comical. But usually he's anxious and somewhat paranoid and he has been involved in a shady lifestyle of dealing drugs, using them and he's wrecked many cars and has been in jail several times...the longest stay was about 6 months in which he recently got out and has had thise violent outburst and he talks about weird things. I'm starting to become afraid of him. Any advice ?

It has gotten to the point that I have to leave whenever he starts raging because I'm scared of what he may do. He says that I should know that he'd never really hurt me but he has threatened to crush my skull in before and he's made threatening remarks to my parents, also. He then becomes a loving son like nothing ever happened and then we don't know what to do. He just started a job and seems to be doing okay but you never know when he'll "snap".

It is sad to watch your own brother slowly destroy himself and the family...all the while remembering that cute, sweet and funny little boy he used to be. He started getting into trouble at age 13. He's been involved in some pretty heavy stuff. He has gunshot wounds from drugs deals gone awry, etc...you can only imagine. He is trying to get himself together, but I'm worried for his and our safety.

Answer 1

I know how u feel. My mom has been battling bi-polar disorder since I can remember. (I have not been diagnosed, but I, as well as my family, believe I am bi-polar as well). She would be this wonderful mom one moment and the next she was either crying and saying we didn't love her, or need her, or she'd be raging. She (like many) turned to drugs to cope w/ some of the pain,shame,and embarrassment she felt. She also went on and off of her meds, and when she was off, she was usually in the depressive state, but about once a day (or more) she'd go into her manic state. It was scary as a child to watch, but I learned how to take care of her, which eventually taught her to take care of herself.
She now takes her meds as directed (lithium, and I'm not sure of the other meds) and she's been sober for 4 yrs now and is doing much better.

Medication and even therapy can help wonders. The meds will balance him out, although he might still have some episodes (manic/depressant) but w/ therapy may be able to manage himself better. It's a serious condition that needs to be addressed and a doctor would know exactly what he needs.

Hang in there, and know it's not your brother's fault, his mind is basically pulling him in directions that he quite can't understand
or keep up with. It takes a lot out of them and they need people around them to help and support them.

Answer 2

Bi polar doesn't usually show up until your in your early 20's. If he has been in trouble since age 13, it could be some age deffest disorder. A lot of kids get into trouble with this. It really doesn't sound like Bipolar. usually they do stuff like stay awake for several days, when they are in the high stage, and do stuff like spend money, have a lot of sex and gamble. Then they come crashing down, and get depressed. Alcohol and drugs are a natural deprest, so that could also be part of the problem. If he has been dealing drugs, he may be worried that he is going to get caught, and that's a lot of stress right there. There really isn't much you can do , except offer your love, and try to talk to him about these things, to quit, and get help. Good luck, i hope your brother get's better

Answer 3

Sudden fits of extream rage doesn't really scream bi-polar. The highs (the mania) can come in many different forms for different people, but extream rage is not really one of them. My highs tend to make me agitated and I get angry and am short with people, but not to the point of threatening physicall harm. Other keys to BP highs are: promescuous behavior, little or no sleep with no adverse effects, spending money (probably that they do not have), rapid speech, wreckless behavior, racing thoughts, bursts of creativity. When mania becomes a problem is when people begin to think they are invincible, god like and can do anything and become delirious in their belief.

Of course, the other side of BP is the depression. Depending on what kind of drugs / alcohol he is taking and mixing, could keep severe depression at bay, but when someone crashes, they crash unless they are on a stimulant constantly.

In most states, anyone who is posing a threat of harming themselves or harming others, you can usually get at least a 72 hour hold in a hospital for a psychological evaluation. I would use that as a last resort if he is not willing to get help and you guys are in fear for your safety. There actually is a rage disorder, and perhaps he fits that catagory better, but only a dr. can help clear the muddy waters. Drugs and alcohol are secondary. If he can enter a psychological facility, as an in-patient, he will get all the help he needs, for both the anger (or maybe bi-polar) as well as the drug problem, which is probably the best way for him to go - a full menu situation.

Answer 4

So sorry to hear about this problem for you!!

He probably is bipolar, I would say, but drug use can mimic it. I usually control my bipolar behavior very well, but last night I couldn't seem to get a yahoo map to print, and had trouble b/c my connection is so slow (30 kbs) and I was quite abusive to my husband. So those kind of outbursts may happen even if he were on medication and had his act together, but they would happen less often and be less severe. I find lamictal to be a good drug, it controls mania and depression and "mixed moods" where you are both at the same time (more common than people realize, it turns out). Lithium and depakote are effective too but they can cause weight gain. Since he is using street drugs, the risk of violence is real. A person with serious mental illness that does not "self-medicate" with street drugs is no more violent on average than people without mental illness, but to be taking street drugs totally jacks up a person with mental illness. Your brother may stop taking drugs/alcohol if his pain is treated with prescription drugs, which stabilize the moods and reduce mental suffering. I drank heavily when my moods were destabilized due to inappropriately prescribed meds (they thought I had depression and gave me prozac without a mood stabilizer) and it went away when I got off those pills. Many bipolars quit drug/alcohol use when stabilized.

In his case, you may need to see that the court orders mental health treatment and social services to oversee him. What services are available depends on your state - there is a thing called ACT or assertive community treatment, where social services can do an intensive intervention. You would be best off contacting your local NAMI the national association for the mentally ill - they are really set up for families like yours with a family member who needs treatment and isn't getting it. I get social services, it is an entitlement in my state, and find them to be supportive and helpful, especially when I am in crisis.

Good luck!!

Answer 5

He needs to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. Realistically, he can not be sucessfully treated for bipolar disorder while he is using drugs. If he is willing to give up the drugs, there are many medications that can help him. As far as which ones will work for him? That part is kind of hit and miss. Even people who have bipolar disorder can only tell you what medications worked for them and NOT which ones will work for your brother. I tried different medications for 2 years before finding a combination that seems to be working.

And you are right to be afraid of him. When he is rational and "normal" he will not hurt you, but when he is manic or "in a rage" he is out of control. When he is in that state of mind, he doesn't even know what he will do.

I used to have terrible rages like the ones you describe for your brother. In spite of other ups and downs with my medications, they have all been sucessful at stopping or reducing the rages.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, but I not sure this is his problem. Usually, people who are diagnosed as such are depressed at times, and then they are hyper other times. By hyper i mean cleaning or staying up for a few days at a time. But nothing I know about it ever fit the description of such anger. I do think you brother needs medical attention, probably better sooner than later.

If the weird things he's talking about have to do with God, or saving the world, then maybe he does fit the description.

If he spends money in great amounts and has no clue about how it happened so quickly, that also makes sense.

Answer 7

My sister is bipolar. She is not nearly as bad as your brother but I know how different she can be at times. I would say get him on some medications but since he is into drugs that's probably not the best things since he could very well abuse them. Honestly in your situation I would stay away from him. You never know when he can snap. But if you're really devoted to him make sure you have a lot of people around you when you're with him.

Answer 8

to be honest you're best bet would to be getting him some help, even though he's probably not going to like it. if he's getting violent it would probably be a good idea to get some help sooner than later. hospitals suck (believe I know) but sometimes thats the best way to get a person stablized. if he's seriously getting out of control and you're worried call the paramedics and tell them you're worried that he's a danger to himself and others. they'll take him to get evaluated, and more than likely he'll spend some time in a locked unit.
some people can control it without meds (it's not easy but I'm currently doing it) but for most they usually help. as far as which ones work the best I never found the right combination and at the moment I'm capable of surviving without them. having a good therapist helps.
get him some help. it's possible that there's more going on than you're aware of.

Answer 9

I'm sorry this isn't a long or complex answer (and I do feel for you -- I have bipolar, and I know what I can be like!), but the best bet is, of course -- get professional help. S/he will be able to do much more than some words on a screen from the internet.

Answer 10

I had a boyfriend with the same problem. Your brother needs meds for this and fast!! You may have to have him committed if he doesnt agree. Bipolar is very scary, especially when your the one who is being threatened.
My boyfriend...well he refused to take trhe meds. Now hes in jail .
Good luck