My best friend Tam and I love each other, but she says she loves me as a friend. I'm in love with her, and I think she's special. She says she's in love with somebody else, and we only know each other long-distance, so she can't be my girlfriend. I know she cares about me a lot and we have a very special friendship.
Is it possible she would respect me more if I tried to date other girls? Will she someday come to me and realize that we're meant for each other? Or should I forget about her ever loving me in that way? I will try to date other girls, and if I ever love one as much as Tam I will get serious, but I don't think I ever will.
I don't want to be her boyfriend because of the romantic or sexual element, I want to be her boyfriend because I want to share my life with her and I think no girl I ever meet will be quite like Tam.
2007-01-29 14:58:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just be her friend and if it happens it will happen
2007-01-29 15:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's not interested right now, then she's not interested. You don't have to ever stop loving her, but don't let your feelings for her get in the way of you passing up other great girls out there who could make you just as happy. I've been there, thinking that I will never find anyone better, but I always seem to have. I highly recommend that you realize that it is not going to happen right now between you and her, before you begin dating other girls. Otherwise this will just be a problem from the beginning in the new relationship, you will always be comparing the new girl to Tam. And no girl deserves that. And definitely don't use another girl just to gain respect from Tam. Would you want someone to do that to Tam? Love sucks sometimes, but it's also wonderful, and theres an abundance of it out there residing in other people. Besides, maybe she just needs time to realize what her feelings for you truly are. I always liked the saying "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, It's true love"
2007-01-29 23:13:15 · answer #2 · answered by Choco_Taco25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like someone who'd be a great boyfriend; the type everyone hopes for. Does she know exactly how you feel?
Maybe spend time getting to know other girls as Tam is far away and is seeing someone else now. You might meet someone who sees what a great catch you are. Keep in touch with Tam though, and maybe she'll realize there's no one like you.
If she's a real friend, she will want the best for you. Good luck.
2007-01-29 23:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by catsoda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There an old saying, "The heart wants what it wants." It means we can't control who we love and when. I wish there was some formula to get you Tam's love. But there isn't.
If you haven't already, you should clearly express your feelings to her. And then, you should go about your life. Unless you want to spend your life waiting, you should date other girls. Who knows there maybe a girl waiting just for you who will love you here and now. Love is complicated enough don't put your life on hold waiting for Tam. That doesn't mean you can't still care for Tam.
I know there are no words that will convince that your love for Tam will evolve over time. But it will. If there is a chance she will realize that you are meant for each other it will come when you stop waiting around for her. Your actions may spark her to re-examine her feeling for you (pro or con).
2007-01-29 23:14:40 · answer #4 · answered by lostlatinlover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she's obviously not thinking the same way that you're thinking....been in that position before. I say go date other girls and show her that you are her true friend. Don't get jealous when she tells you about her new flame etc., because she will continue to trust you. When more time passes by, she'll realize that you are not only an amazing friend she can trust, but someone who is a cool smooth operator who is easy going and not someone who pressures her. Girls ultimately like a safe place at the end of the day.
2007-01-29 23:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by gotham158 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant force her to have those kind of feelings for you... i mean i have some of the same feelings for a girl named sabrina. but we both decided after we dated that we were much better friends then we ever were at dating... so just atleast keep that friendship. and who knows maybe tam will have those kind of feelings for you. just tell her how you feel and if she has even close to the same feelings
2007-01-29 23:07:50 · answer #6 · answered by Dont get Infected 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue to be her friend and see where things might lead. It would increase your appeal somewhat if she knows that you are going out with other girls. I know that sounds weird but as girl i can tell you that we often like what other girls like. If i see a guy with a girl, specially a friend like in your situation, i don't know , i start seeing that guys in a whole new light.
2007-01-29 23:06:40 · answer #7 · answered by **brainy licious**J;-D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that. Hun.....girls hide their feelings way better then boys, ok? I think that is really sweet! It made me cry, I never knew boys actually knew the laungue of romance. Don't be the one to make her jealous, it never works (stupid movies!) I am sure she thinks of you in a different way sometimes.
2007-01-29 23:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
sometimes when you stop trying to make the one you love notice you they begin to notice you try that.
2007-01-29 23:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by Sonya K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on...
2007-01-29 23:48:35 · answer #10 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋