My bf and I got 2gether after he was dumped by a girl he really loved.Theyd dated 1year.She was seeing another guy & wanted to be with him. A few wks later we started dating &did so for 3 months.He was talking to other ppl the 1st month and I was not,but then he stopped,but we werent really exclusive but neither of us were seeing any1else.Then his ex-gf was dumped by her new guy &told him she wanted him back &he basically ignored me for 2 days until I got him to admit the situation to me &he said he had to see if there was something still there between them &that he was sorry &drove out to see her (they were a state apart).I was heartbroken bc hed just told me that wk that he was in love with me.He didnt say it was over but for me to be patient &see what happened.It didnt work 4 them &2 days later he called me and we have been 2gether ever since(1yr now). We are now getting married & I still feel like the 2nd choice. I trust him 100% &they dont talk nemore but how can I get over this?
2007-01-29 14:38:43 · 3 answers · asked by HayleyD 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey, it was a year ago and you're getting married soon so let it go. You can't be happy if you keep thinking you're his 2nd choice.
I understand how you feel though, I could feel that way too but I could understand your bf position back then.
He wanted to be sure nothing more is left of his past relationship and he won't feel he didn't give it all (that he didn't try his best to make it work). So he did and it turned out it didn't work. If things didn't work between you two now, wouldn't you want him to give it all for your relationship to work?
It was better for him to close all doors to his past and move on. He did. It was a pitty that you was a victim of his trying to close his past. I'm sure he didn't mean to break your heart.
I think it was a good thing that you was so patience with him. He would think he's so lucky to have a gf that's so understanding and loving, and I bet he was sorry he had hurt you that way.
Have you talked about this? If you haven't, then start talking. Tell him you don't want to bring up the past but you want him to show you that you are his one and only choice, that you want to be his all. (personally, I think he has shown it by wanting to get married to you). You have to change the way you think, no more past. It's the present that counts. And the present is he loves you (only you) and want to marry you. Keep that in mind.
2007-01-29 15:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by Akai 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure he really loves you...if not why else would you be getting married. When you are married you have to trust one another and that involves communication. Talk to him about it and ask him about the standing of your relationship, tell him truthfully you feel like second choice and you want to get past that but ur going to need his help and cooperation. I HIGHLY suggest doing this before you get married, if you dont start talking now...you cant guarentee you will when ur married.
2007-01-30 01:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by morena0kizzez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think i would have dumped him...What if she says again she wants to give it a try and he goes...To me this isn't right and i would have told him to hit the road when he tried to come back...
2007-01-29 23:14:06 · answer #3 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋