My friend has liked this guy for about a year now. She's a grade younger than him and I, and she never talks to him. There're about a million other guys she likes, but he's more her main interest.
I'm friends with him. I've also fancied him for a while now, although I have to admit my friend had [and announced] that she had her eye on him first. And because of this I never told her that I liked him. Instead I tried to push her to be friends with him and get to know him better, but the two of them have gone nowhere since last year.
About two weeks ago I found out that he liked me. And although I heavily considered how my friend would feel, I decided to ask him to the dance [that was a few days ago]. He said yes.
And as a side note, she had already told me she was trying to choose between asking these two guys to the dance, and the main guy's name wasn't mentioned.
I explained this to my friend today because I wanted to be considerate instead of just walking into the dance [which is in about two weeks] and surprising her. She said that she was upset, but that she was okay with it. When I came home from school, I went on her MySpace and found that I had been taken off her top 24, when just yesterday I was number 5. [Trust me, she's a MySpace nut, so it's safe to take that as a personal offense.]
So I know she's mad at me, but I'm fairly sure that she'll get over it in a few days. But did I do that wrong thing?
2007-01-29 14:31:47 · 20 answers · asked by abcdefgh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you did the right thing. no worries. you are from europe, aren't you?
2007-01-29 14:35:47 · answer #1 · answered by Flutie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you did the wrong thing. (Although you might have wanted to explain it to her BEFORE you asked him to the dance.) Since she never even mentioned the main guy's name when deciding on who to ask, that makes it even easier to decide if you were "wrong" or "right". Hopefully this will all blow over. It sounds like she might not be sure who she REALLY likes. (This is totally normal teenage behavior, and I know how she probably feels.) I can see how she might be mad for a little while, because you knew she like "Mr. Main", ...but she never did anything much to try to "get" him, did she? If she mentions a lot of guys that she likes, who is left for you? If you're really friends, and if she doesn't really know him well enough to know she "Loves" him (and it doesn't sound like she knows him well at all) she should hopefully get over it relatively quickly.
I would give her a little time, and then sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Tell her how much you care about her, and try to explain the situation as honestly as possible. Good luck to the both (make that the 3!) of you!
2007-01-29 14:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by ptracie222 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me I say no...the reason why I say no is because there are millions of girls out here that like someone and never actually date them..but that does not stop the next female from liking him... the whole point is that she and him were never an item...you said it yourself...you tried to get them to talk...and it did not go anywhere... plus he said that he liked you...your friend can not be mad at him for not liking her..plus if she was really a friend and not just some buddie she would respect the fact that you informed her of your moves before she found out via the gossip line....sooooooooo if she is a true friend you guys will be laughing about this...but if she is not than chop it up to the game and keep it moving...i hate to say it that way but that is how you find out your real friends from fake friends...this is all a test...of true friendship...will you guys break or build a stronger relationship...you'll find out soon enough
2007-01-29 14:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by chanel_mitchell06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I beleive you did the right thing by consulting her before you went out with him.If she is upset, it shouldn't be your fault, she said she was fine with it. If she truly did't want you to go out with him, she should have been honest about her feelings. I don't beleive you should feel guilty about it either, if she's liked him for over a year and hasn't made a move yet? What, are you not allowed to touch ANY of the million guys she has a crush on? You seem like the mature one. I would go and enjoy your dance. Of course ,don't be rude to her, but don't let her control your life and who you choose to see.
2007-01-29 14:42:07 · answer #4 · answered by Choco_Taco25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you did nothing wrong, while she liked him for awhile... she made no move, and he didnt share those feelings for her as he obviousy liked you.... You cant force people to like you, and you shouldnt feel guilty if you like someone our friend likes.. just means the person is that great to attract so many women so he must have some great qualities... she will get over it.. but taking a chace with love with this guy is a once in a life time deal.
2007-01-29 14:36:39 · answer #5 · answered by David E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong. She can't dictate who you can and can't ask out, especially when she's too scared to make a move on him and had ample time to do so. It's really just a matter of how important your friendship with your girlfriend is to you, and if you are willing to jeopardize that. But this is really a girl thing, that I'll never fully understand, so I'll end my answer here.
2007-01-29 14:38:38 · answer #6 · answered by Alan K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If nothing has happen in over a year, nothing will and if he likes you go for it, yes you should be considerate of your friend but if she is really your friend she will be considerate of your feelings and happiness, and anyways there are other guys out there and she is sure going to find someone, no you did nothing wrong. Be happy for yourself.
2007-01-29 14:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by hugnat2224 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you didn't do it wrong. It would have been wrong for you just to all of a sudden show up with this guy. She will get over it, it was just a crush...and it will blow over. Especailly if your friendship is worth it. And remember life is too short to sweat all the small things
2007-01-29 14:38:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you gave her more than enough time to make her move. if he likes you than go out with him. she will just have to get over the fact that he likes you and you two are going to a dance together. a true friend will be happy for you once her ego recovers from being brused! good luck
2007-01-29 14:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't see anything wrong with what you did. like you said, she'll get over it. it doesn't sound like she knows what she wants, anyway. if you and this guy like eachother and want to pursue a relationship than that is what you should do.
you sound like you are young and you mentioned you are still in school - why not focus on school and not guy. there will always be guys out there, but your education is happening, right now.
2007-01-29 14:40:50 · answer #10 · answered by summercalifornia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds like she has to many crushes for one person.. you can not live your life thinking all the time " does she like this guy? or can i date him" she isnt a true friend and you should just delete her off your myspace and find a friend who will be there for you a 100% not when it best intrest for her...
2007-01-29 14:44:07 · answer #11 · answered by diamondg4u2c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋