I'm 23. I went to a church concert last weekend and the lead singer of one of the bands was amazing. I found him on facebook via some common friends we had and sent him a brief messages saying hi and how much I enjoyed the show. We went back and forth a couple of times in talking. They were all really nice things, like how he hoped I would be coming to the next concerts (they're monthly). The last message he sent me included him asking me to come say hey to him the next time I see him so we can talk face to face. I'm taking that as a good sign, right? Also, I would love to get together with him some time just for something as simple as coffee, but I wasn't sure if that would be overstepping some line since we haven't met yet. What's the best approach to take? Should I initiate us getting together or just wait and let it happen more naturally like us just running into each other. I just don't know when that will happen. Thanks!
2007-01-29 14:19:45 · 18 answers · asked by Squeegy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Coffee is innocent. if you want to meet him face to face and you feel comfortable then ask him if wants to have coffee sometime. I am sure he would not mind. He has obviously expressed an interest when he asked that you approach him at the next concert. If it was me I would not mind meeting someone either at a predetermined time and place or even earlier. I say go for it you have nothing to lose and everything to gain possibly. Even if it turns out that you become good friends.
2007-01-29 14:25:38 · answer #1 · answered by Johnathan L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds good for you. Keep in mind, though, that he probably receives many messages like your's a day.
As far as letting "it happen more naturally," well, that was my philosophy for the longest time. Now I'm 25 and have no idea how to pursue a girl. In other words, waiting on destiny or proximity is not realistic. It can't be counted on.
Although trying to initiate a meeting or reunion runs the risk of rejection, it is probably the only way to arrange, or attempt to arrange, something serious.
I've waited to be approached, and waited for those convenient situations that Hollywood loves to portray, but those things never, ever, ever, happen. I wish you the best, because pursuit is very difficult, nerve-wracking, etc. I'm 25 and just starting!
2007-01-29 22:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by perfectlybaked 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with a girl pursuing a guy Personally I would be flattered if a girl asked me out It would take that weight off my shoulders. Just make sure you listen to your heart about this person before you go wasting any time on him by this I say do a little research first .
2007-01-29 22:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jose P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go the next show and meet him there. Let him make the offers rather making yourself look desperate by asking him out. Let your relationship be well-established first and then ask him for coffee or something.
Good luck!
2007-01-29 22:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by hooman m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet with him face to face at a concert or whatever first. Talk with him a little bit, and if you like him, ask him for coffee or brunch later. It's fine!
2007-01-29 22:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend initiated getting together at first and it was great. He is probably wondering the same thing. Just be sure, when you get together, to take things slow. There is no need to rush things. Coffee is great.
GL.
2007-01-29 22:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by sealguy77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO YOU SHOULD initiate it but dont seem desperate and dont seem easy to get to because men like a challange sort to speak not saying that you are going to sleep with him or anything like that but we as guys like to think we have some control over things wink wink but just go with him and see where things lead GOOD LUCK
2007-01-29 22:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by THE WAR WRENCH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it stretch out a bit. and don't rush into anything.
obviously since he's in a band it'll make things interesting, so keep on your guard a little bit. but keep talking to him. ask for his phone number when you see him. get to know him better passively so that things are a bit more smoothed out and comfortable when you start dating.
2007-01-29 22:27:35 · answer #8 · answered by Stargazer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asking just a male what they think about this was your biggest mistake. You should of asked both parties male and female. You would get a bigger diverse answer.
2007-01-29 22:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by hbuckmeister 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya. he likes you. hez in a band, wich is usualy a really bad sign, but cuz its a chrisian band. it isnt. and chancess are, coffee is as natural as your gona get without waiting for cupid to introduce you two personaly. go for it
2007-01-29 22:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋