ok well long story short this guy and i were getting along great and i thought he liked me and i was gonna tell him but one day all of a sudden he just stopped talking to me and stuff. flirting, talking, listening to me, teasing me, complimenting me, ealking to class with me and when he walked with me he would always walk at my pace and always start a convo, ect. so i thought ok if hes not gonna talk to you anymore than dont talk to him so i dont talk to him anymore but every so often hell say something here or there and when he does i either ignore him or say something kinda mean or in a mean voice. my thing is i think he found out somehow and so also whenever im near him i get nervous and wanna talk to him. so anyways today he was flirting with me tofay which was quite shocking to me because he hasnt in a long time. but when he did i acted like i didnt wannna be bothered with him. so what im saying is am i doing the right thing and should i try talking to him again???
2007-01-29 14:05:58 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i also keep telling myself that i dont like himanymore and i kinda do but why do people so that?? say they dont like someone when they do??
2007-01-29 14:07:08 · update #1
Stop being mad at him. Ask yourself...so you really want to be mad at him? Being mad at someone just cause more stress on you. isn't it easier to just be able to talk and be happy than to try to ignore him and be mad.
2007-01-29 14:11:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people don't know themselves why they do certain things, so don't read too much into this. If you can gather up the courage to ask him a straight up question, and just say "hey, I know we've both been acting kind of weird lately, I just wanted to know what happened on your part, so I can understand you better..." Maybe he can explain what happened. Maybe someone told him a rumor about you and he believed it. Maybe he just had a total crush on someone else and now realized that it was a mistake. And if he tells you why he acted the way he did, then you should tell him that you ignored him and were mean to him just because you felt offended because of the way he acted, so you were just acting like this as a reaction, but you don't really hate him or anything.
One of the most important things to being able to have a mature relationship (whether it's boyfriend/girlfriend or just friends) is to be able to talk to each other and tell them what's on your mind. Maybe he's not there yet, if so, there's nothing you can do. I wouldn't be mean to him or ignore him (that's not that mature either), but I wouldn't make a great effort to talk to him. If he can't be man enough to explain himself, then he's not worth your time.
Just make sure you don't try to guilt him into talking. Let it be a friendly and open question, encouraging him to talk. After all, it should be a complement that you want him to tell you more about himself so you get to know him better. Present it to him that way and you guys will figure things out soon enough.
By the way, it's not that unusual that you reacted this way. People will often act mean to others who offended them as a defense mechanism. People hurt us more deeply when we are open to them, so if we close each other off emotionally and act like we don't care, then it's easier not to get hurt again. While it's perfectly natural to do this, you should try to at least give a person a chance to explain themselves before you totally start ignoring them, because you never know what may have happened to make them think this way.
P.S. If you can't ask him specifically why he's been acting weird lately, try a softer approach, like
You: So how have you been lately
Him: Ok, I guess, not much going on.
You: Well I was just wondering, because you seemed like you changed a little, we used to talk a lot and then not at all, and now we're talking again. I was just curious what happened...
At this point he'll either explain what happened or blow it off and not really answer you, in which case you can stop making the effort to get to know him and just move on with your life.
Good luck.
2007-01-29 14:25:21 · answer #2 · answered by yishor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like a player and I think you are wise to stay detached from him. If he sincerely liked you for who you are then it would not be so confusing to figure out if he likes you. Keep moving away from him. You will meet someone who doesn't send mixed messages. You want a guy who doesn't play games with your head. Good Luck.
2007-01-29 14:13:42 · answer #3 · answered by danamarie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course you should talk to him. Don't even mention the fact that you NOTICED he stopped talking to you. Did YOU notice that when you stopped talking to him, although we know why, HE was the one that started up again? Trust me, if you are UNAFFECTED one way or another by his behavior....they can't figure out how you can go on without them!
2007-01-29 14:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by LisaLou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
juz ask him why he's changed lately, becoz i experienced it and it's irritating,
if you dont wana ask him juz get back to normal i mean juz like you two doin before. i mean, you still wana be friends with him right? just be nice and find a way to make him jealous like walking and flirting wid another guy and juz c his reaction..hehe.. gud luck ^_*
2007-01-29 14:14:49 · answer #5 · answered by wEnNy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋