if you guys have been following my few past posts about my dad this is the closure part of it. an email i got today from him:
2007-01-29 13:43:05 · 3 answers · asked by Back*To*Me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all you need to understand some things and you are not going to like thembut if you really want the truth you are about to get it, when every child I have had were born and I was holding them I felt nothing. You see I have nothing inside me to give to anyone and I have so much hate in me that I didn't see the chance or blessing I had been given but I do love each of you as much as I can but I know it is not real love because I can not love or let anyone inside me and have always been this way and don't see me changing, all I knew growing up was watching my grandpa go to work early and come home , drink and lay down, that is all I know how to do is work. I didn't have much to do with raising you all and I am sorry but it doesn't bother me to much I never wanted you kids to feel towards me the way I feel towards my father but I guess I have come full circle. The only memories that I think of is of you or any of the rest being rocked to sleep in my arms when you were 6 or 7, and
2007-01-29 13:43:28 · update #1
that are the memories I keep, you all deserved better than me as a father because I really did'nt want kids because I knew I would suck at being a father but after all of you were born I wouldn't have traded you all for nothing but I still knew I was going to be bad at fatherhood but you should just forget about me as your father and live your life because I have nothing to say and if I am around you fine but if not that is fine also but in my heart there is a small part where you are always my 6 year old baby girl and pumpkin but those days have long since past.
2007-01-29 13:45:21 · update #2
along with my responce:
i'm glad you got back to me and it's all the truth. whether or not i like it is irrelevant because i can find closure in knowing the truth more than living a lie and hoping for nothing. i honestly do feel sorry for you that you felt nothing by holding something you helped create. a piece of you. a part of you. a legacy of you. i don't care if you accept it or not but i do love you.. you're my dad and nothing can or will ever change that. i use to always think i was doing something wrong as a child and that's why you were angry with us. i thought it was my fault you and mom seperated. and i ran away hoping to give chelsea and kevin a chance to have a better childhood because it was my fault and i was gone so everything would be fine. i know now that i'm wrong and i didn't make you and mom divorce. i've learnt some hard lessons over time but trying to live with out being close to my dad is still one i haven't overcome. i'm sure with time i will but the problem
2007-01-29 13:45:59 · update #3
s i care too much for people... even if i shouldn't or know it's gonna end in hurt pain and turmoil. kevin's marriage for example.... he's marrying way too young and i feel he's following in your steps because you and mom married slightly young.... older than he and kaity but still young. i don't want to tell him it's wrong but i know it is. it's also his life to live i just for some reason feel a motherly intuition to watch over him. chelsea i know has made some mistakes in her life but i'll never stop loving her for it. we all make mistakes and i'm sorry you feel that we were one but it's happened and it's over with. i'm a grown woman. i'd like to think i'm smart, strong and wise but only time will tell. i'm sorry to throw all of my feelings at you at once with no warning but it was eating me alive. i'd cry at night trying to sleep, trying to figure out why you can't be a father. i still do sometimes. i don't hate you for anything you've done, i dislike some of it but it was your
2007-01-29 13:46:50 · update #4
life and is your life along with your choices to make and you did so. live life with no regrets right? well, that's what i'm doing and i'd regret it if i didn't get everything off my mind and have a clean slate to face the world.
2007-01-29 13:47:13 · update #5
you done good, period, turn the page, smile with your huge heart and share it, enjoy the rest of your life.....
HAND have a nice day!!!
2007-01-30 13:39:20 · answer #1 · answered by texasbar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your Dad needs prayers. He also does love you in his own way.
Maybe you and he could become good friends. It is amazing what a friendship can do to repair a man's emotions.
Your dad may never be able to show you how much he realley cares for you and the love you have for him willhelp him lose some of the hate he carries inside
2007-01-29 22:01:00 · answer #2 · answered by mamayer6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe closure, but maybe a new beginning. Your dad opening up with telling the truth gives you the possibility to approach each other, or just to accept each other as you are.
I wish you all the best!
2007-01-29 23:10:19 · answer #3 · answered by Instant Problemsolver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋