Do you think it is rude to ask somebody why don't they remove their birthmark off their face?

Question

My girlfriend's bestfriend has a big brown birthmark on the side of her face. It is about 2 inches long and a inch wide. I just can't stop looking at it when I'm talking to her. i think she could look pretty if she got it removed thats all.

I'm thinking about her best interests. I think she would feel better about herself! I'm not being mean!

Answer 1

this is a better question than many would give u credit 4.
good 4 u!
it is not for u to say tho, this would cause offence or even hurt and maybe damage her confidence or self-esteem.

ur girlfriend could discuss but personally i would not even go there unless i had some knowledge of the options. it is highly likely that she has examined the possibilities and there simply aren't any affordable ones. if ur g/f mentions and she takes it the wrong way, she may lose her as a friend.

i used to work with someone who had a mark on her forehead. she was still xtremely attractive. it can be covered effectively by make up. to be honest, i am not sure i would even notice it after a while.

ordinarily i would say it is much kinder to tell ur mates they have something in their hair like dandruff or their flies are open. with something permanent of this nature it is a different story and great care has to be taken, unless u r a supreme diplomat!!

Answer 2

I don't think it's rude to ask and I wouldn't feel offended if I were asked. I ask people to remove their shoes when they come to my house. I don;t have carpeting but at the time I had a baby that just started to crawl.Rather than have her crawl on the floor and then put her hands in her mouth I would just ask for people to remove their shoes so their be less concern about illness. If something fell on the floor you wouldn't pick it up and eat it. Yet babies are susceptible to what's on the bottom of your shoes. After she became older it just remained a standard in the home. Many doctors suggest removing shoes for health reasons as well not just for children but for a healthier household

Answer 3

I don't think it is rude to ask if you know her, and you can fit it into the conversation somehow. But-she probably gets asked a lot, and there may be a medical reason or something why she has not had it removed-I am sure she knows that option is available. I knew a girl once that had a large, flat, pink birthmark under her eye. She didn't want it removed b/c she was afraid of the laser treatment so close to her eye.

Answer 4

Yes, it's rude. You need to get over your hangup.

Maybe she leaves it there to weed out the guys who are shallow enough to reject her because of it.

Now that I've thoroughly insulted you, may I say I understand your fixation, wrong though it is. I have a handicapped child but I still sometimes feel awkward around other handicapped people. I went to school before mainstreaming, and I just haven't been around many handicapped people. I am getting over it, though.

Even in today's "enlightened" society, we're still not used to seeing people who are "different" from us, and we feel uncomfortable around them.

You need to get over this. Realize, first of all, that it has nothing to do with who she really is, her personality and character (except that public rejection can warp her or make her stronger and more independent). Talk to your girlfriend about it. Sometimes just talking aobut your hangups can help you get over them. Maybe she can help.

And whatever you do, don't say, "she could look pretty if she got it removed." That's a real insult. You're saying she's not pretty now. Chances are, she is very pretty, but that one mark is distracting.

BTW, I know someone who has a large red birthmark covering about 1/3 of his face. He's one of the nicest people you ever hope to meet. It is so large it could jeopardize his health to remove it.

Answer 5

Yes it is because maybe she has seeked medical advice and they cant remove it
.Then what you are doing is showing her how noticeable it really is When she has had to learn to live with it
I'm sure her family would have said if anything could have been done
I know you mean well but you could hurt her feelings

Answer 6

Of course it's rude.

I fact, it's Very rude.

Feeling disgusted, like you don't want to look at it, and trying not to really see it much is not really rude though. If it looks ugly to you, it looks ugly to you. And it will be distracting. So don't look at it.

Get away if it all gets uncomfortable. But as ugly as it is, trust me, the sound of you ASKING why she doesn't have it removed is far uglier. Don't ask me why, just trust me.

You might sound prettier if you had your toungue removed.

Get the drift?

Answer 7

yes it is rude as for thinking of her best interests what a load of rubbish. your thinking of yourself cause you keep looking at it
it is you who has the problem with it not her so why should she remove it for others
on the othe hand if it did bother her dont you think she would have looked into getting it removed if she could

Answer 8

I would want to know too but I recommend that you don't ask her: she has probably already considered it and probably has some reason for not wanting to. Maybe she is comfortable with the way she looks for some odd reason. Anyway she would probably get mad if you asked her and then your girlfriend would get mad at you.

Answer 9

Honestly it depends on the birthmark and how well you know the person also how sensitive they feel about it.

Answer 10

The one that floored me recently was someone who came up to a friend of mine (who has a cold sore every now and then) and said to her in a loud voice, "Oh, I see that thing is back on your face again." And then pointed to it. I am thinking mental age of five.