After my boyfriend moved to Florida (job reasons) I have began to text message him constantly and worry that he doesn't love me any more. My constant attempts of contanting him have driven him away, the exact opposite from what I wanted. (I actually didn't think I was obbsessive until someone else pointed it out.) He tells me he still loves me and that he plans on moving back as soon as possible, yet I still worry and assume.
My question(s) are thus:
How do I calm myself down when I begin to worry and assume he is done with me?
How can I hold myself off to talk to him constantly and wait for him to call me?
Is there anything else I can do? Am I just insane or can I control my behavior?
2007-01-29 12:52:26 · 17 answers · asked by smelly pickles 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk to him and tell him how you feel and ask him these questions.
Good Luck
2007-01-29 12:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can control your behavior. You have to work at it, like most people, but it can be done.
A relationship is an investment, not just a vague dream about a better future. Take a long look at what you want and expect out of this relationship. For example, if you want someone who will be a millionaire in 10 years but currently buses tables, you may want to invest your time in someone who more closely matches what you want. There are reasonable expectations for any spousal realtionship - affection, romance (at least enough), sexual satisfaction, honesty, common goals and values, and so on. It's not reasonable to expect your spouse to abandon all friendships to be alone with you, or to be available to talk 24/7, or to be held an emotional hostage. Each partner has a right to a private life, within limits that are spelled out and mutually acceptable.
Finally, research shows that those couples who have the most in common stay together the longest.
If you're suffering from separation anxiety, you might benefit from therapy. There are a lot of easy to learn techniques for controlling anxiety. Good luck!
2007-01-29 13:04:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you obsessing over your boyfriend and text messege him contantly it shows that you're not as confident as you would like it to be it would drive him away guys like women who are confident
and have thier own friends and have thier life but by the time he gets home to you the two of you would have something to talk about in the mean time just dont text messege him all the time give him some time to messege you maybe even write him some letters take a few photos, itll make him wonder what you been up to makes him want you more and miss you while the two of you are apart and also in the meant time while the 2 of you are apart keep busy and have your own interests and keeping busy helps by the time you arekeeping yourself busy he'll be calling you and saying im coming home andin your arms soon.
2007-01-29 13:10:25 · answer #3 · answered by LISA P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obsess about some thing else ^^ come across a pastime-do some thing new that you have not in any respect executed earlier. Get in to at least some thing that you've continuously needed or concept about doing. were given a fave television coach? blog about it or connect a communicate board with different followers who share an same pastime. Getting an habit to at least some thing healthy that facilitates "distract" you from problems with this nature is powerful for the soul ^^ sorta like those "my anti-drug is ____" advertisements My pastime is anime operating example-and now i important in animation. come across a pastime for some thing and earlier lengthy that component that used to bother your innovations on an familiar foundation will fade and also you would even locate someone alongside the adventure that stocks an same new pastime that you do ;)
2016-12-03 05:27:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are very dependant upon your boyfriend to make you happy and fulfill your needs and now that he's so far away, you feel lost without him. Insecurity in yourself can break the best of relationships. The best thing you can do for yourself is to regain your self confidence and become a strong, happy, independent woman without the reinforcements of a boyfriend. The best thing I've learned in my rocky road of relationships is that you can't make a great girlfriend and partner in a relationship until you are happy with who you are. Once you can be content and happy on your own, you will be able to trust and have faith in your boyfriend and your relationship regardless of how much space is between you two.
2007-01-29 13:03:46 · answer #5 · answered by Ree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep youself busy. Take on a new hobby. It's very thoughtful to be so consumed over someone but don't forget about yourself. Make this time away an oportunity for some "you time/me time" Do things you enjoy most without your partner, remember to keep yourself happy. I'm pretty sure your boyfriend wants to hear that your doing well and happy. Because when your happy, he's happy. Be strong.
2007-01-29 12:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by ♥poppy honey♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell my kids not to let their lives revolve around their boyfriend/girlfriend. That's not a good thing. Be confident in who you are and do not depend on another person to make you happy. That in itself is very attractive and draws them to you. Everyone needs space, and you can't smother him. Find some other interests that make YOU happy and don't worry about his love for you. Treat him well, but not TOO well. Let him contact you more than you contact him. Men get annoyed with phone calls from women - - - even if they're married to you.
2007-01-29 13:02:03 · answer #7 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex went to prison. I obsess too, and now he is out and has been for over a month. However, it is in my best interest to not contact him and it is apparant I was in love with him rather than vice versa. If he really loved you, why didn't he take you? The only advice I know that works, is that in time you will feel better. Time, just time.
2007-01-29 12:59:31 · answer #8 · answered by Morgan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear you! I am going thru the same thing only I'm gay and have been going nuts and have made him not want to talk to me at all. The ONLY thing that probably work is to leave him alone and then he will wonder what you are doing. It's killer hard to make it through the day sometimes and failed miserably at trying until I just made up my mind and waited and it worked!
2007-01-29 12:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by Fireman T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can relate a lot to how u are feeling... i used to be like this because i had an ex boyfriend who cheated on me, and so after that i was never really the same with another boyfriend.... you have to chill out from worrying so much... cause everything your worried about will start to be reality.... just keep yourself busy with something.... work, friends, do SOMETHING
2007-01-29 12:59:27 · answer #10 · answered by lola b. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals all wounds. Keep yourself busy. Find a hobby or club to join.
If you love someone, leave them alone, if they want to come back to you, they'll let nothing in the world stand in their way. Nothing.
Think of how badly you want him. Don't you want to wait for someone to obsess over you and want you so badly?
2007-01-29 12:56:11 · answer #11 · answered by Lizzie T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋