mom's plz. read i need an opinion ...?

Question

I'm 25 yr's old pregnant w/ my 4th and LAST child, i asked my 9 yr. old daughter if she would like to be in the delivery room w/ me when i had the baby, she said "yea mom, can I"? my other two children are boys ...i just feel it's something girly to share with her ... plus i'm planning to have an epidural ( i've had the rest of them, drug-free and my last one hurt like a *****, plus we don't get no awards or nothing) anyways that way she won't see all the screaming ... some of my family members think this will truamatize her some way ..and don't agree .. mom's out there have u had other sibling's in the delivery room with you? and if so, did it affect ur child in anyway ?

Answer 1

I think it would be a great idea, I was gonna let my 5 year old son be in the delivery room when I had his sister, but I was out of town and it happened so quick he couldn't make it in time. Of course, he wasn't gonna be down there where the action was, but I wanted him to feel like he was a part of it. If your daughter wants to be in there, I say go for it! If she gets to where she doesn't think she can handle it she can always leave the room. Don't make her feel bad if she leaves the room though, some people just can't handle those types of things. My fiancee stood in the corner the whole time looking scared to death!

Answer 2

God Bless You! 4th child? I'm having trouble trying to have a 2nd :) lol

As to answer your question...I have a daughter and I think to see her in pain and not be able to do anything about it is torture, and the same goes for her. She's 9 years old and you are mommy. The all loving God-given mommy to her. She does not want to see you in pain and she may not realize what is actually involved in labor and delivery. They may turn down the epidural during pushing, and if you are prone to screaming...well...she may see that and feel helpless, scared, and feel that she cannot do anything to help you. Don't forget...epidurals are not always available...the labor could go too quickly or other complications could develop where you cannot have an epidural.

It's not a bad thing to include family members, just realize all the things that can go on in labor and delivery. You are a veteran mom. What if you need an emergency c-section? Your daughter may be completely excited, but she may not realize what exactly is in store when you do go into labor like we moms know what could be in store for us. Your daughter at age 9 is excited to be an older sister...but again, she may not realize or even need to know at this age everything that is involved.

If you really want this, talk to her pediatrician about his/her opinion and also speak to your OB about it as well. Talk about options and how to prepare your daughter if you are bent on it.

And don't forget...including her in something girly does not have to include your labor. She can help pick out clothes for the baby to wear at home and don't forget...there may come a time when you see her pregnant and may delight in the birth of her first child in person :)

Answer 3

My twin sister has a 5 year old daughter and when she had a second baby she let her daughter watch. I video taped everything. I got her daughters expressions when her sister was comming out. She was amazed and so excited. She kept saying mommy I see Malias head, I see her head mommy. It was so sweet. Of course the night befour we sat her down and explaned where the baby was going to be comming out of. At first she didnt quight understand but w/ your daughter being 9 she will. Still to this day Korianna says i watched Malia be born. When someone says how did she get here she says out of mommys pee pee. She was not tramatized in any way and its something your daughter will remember for the reast of her life. If she is willing let her hold your hand, leg whatever or even cut the cord that way she can be a part of the birth and can say she helped her bro/sis be born into the world. It will be something just you and her can bond over for the reast of your lives. Also what better form of birth controll. Children are having sex younger and younger theese days. Maby seeing the consequinces will save you and her later. Video tape it to always have a wounderful memory for both of you. You can do it from behind your head if you want nothing showing on the video. Congradts on the baby. I hope this helped w/ your decision.

Answer 4

I am 26 my with 2kids youngest being 9months the oldest being 9 years old. my daughtermy not have been in the roomwithme but she did get to see the tape yes I taped it. just as a reminder of how much it hurts to have kids lol. your family needs to back off I think your daughter will be fine eventhough seeing you cry can be hard just makes sure she stays out of the way and in case of an emergency have someone else there that can take her. she my even change her mind I deffinly wouldn't have her in the room when you get your epidural those needles are big and my cause issues when it's time for her own shots that size needle might not leave her mind.

Answer 5

I have a 9 year old daughter as well. Her step dad & I want to have a baby in the next year. I want her to be there at the birth and he thinks Im crazy (so do my folks).
There are class that your daughter can take to help her understand whats happening.
Award aside...I dont medicate my babies and my daughter will get to see the truth of birth; it does hurt like a *****!

This is between you and your daughter! Birth is a fact of life and is no more traumitizing than any other truth that comes our way.

Answer 6

That would depend on the maturity of your 9 yr. old daughter. If she wants to be in the delivery room, then why not? It's a beautiful experience to see a precious baby come into the world.

Answer 7

I'm a nurse and have seen 9 year olds come out fine, and seen them look scared to death! I think it depends on how much you prepare her for it. Talk to you OB and see what they recommend to prepare you daughter for delivery. Make sure you have someone "assigned" to her. Someone that will be with her to answer any questions she has at anytime and take her out if she gets too upset. Make sure your daughter knows it's ok to leave if it gets to be too much for her.

Ok nursing stuff aside, personally I wouldn't let my child watch the delivery. I have seen too many deliveries go bad very quickly and unexpected.... I wouldn't want my child to worry that something is wrong with either me or the baby if I could protect her from that.

What ever your decision, I wish you the best luck.... I happy healthy baby, and a speedy delivery.

Answer 8

In my opinion, the delivery room should be in less people so that you'll have enough oxygen to breath. Only doctors, nurses, and your spouse or your parents (or someone that make you feel comfort n calm) may entering it during the process. Too many people will make the room too full and will disturb the doctor's action.

There are many unpredictable things will happen during the process, so that to make the doctors faster and easier to undertake the problem, the doctor n u should be in comprehensive condition.

I think kids will scary if they see the delivery process directly, moreover they will disturb the process and you cannot get concentration to your new baby's delivery process.

I suggest to record the process using handycam or phonecell, tell your kids to pray in waiting room so that nothing bad will happen during the process. After you recuperating, watch the video with your spouse, parents, and kids. So that you can give them supportive explanation about the process. I think it's the best.

Good luck.

Answer 9

I think it's a great idea if you think that your 9y/o is mature enough to handle what she sees. I don't think it will traumatize her in any way. It will give you a bonding experience with her & she can be proud to say that she seen her baby brother/sister born. My 8y/o daughter was in the room when my oldest son was born. Didn't seem to bother her. She even seems to have a special bond with her brother. She's 13 and he's almost 5 now. Good luck and congrats!!

Answer 10

I was in the delivery room when my mom had a baby. I was 12 then. I thought it was intersting but didnt' watch much of it because the sight of blood and needles made me sick. But i loved being Moms helper and being there to see the baby right away.