Can We get your opinions please?

Question

My wife and I have spoke after an incedent on the news about a woman aborting her baby because if she gave birth the baby will live but it would kill the mother. My wife says that if she is ever in that position she wants to have the baby and risk dying because she has led a full wonderful life and wants her child to have that chance. Now her family is mad at her for this decision even though she aint pregnant, it was just a conversation. I think its beuatiful that she is willing to sacrafice herself for a child. What do you think?

Actualy tkron31 my wifes mother went through it with her, she had a heart conditon and the doctors said to abort because the baby will cause her to die,obviously her mother chose to have her and she lived for nine years before passing from cancer, I think thats why its a serious topic to her.

Answer 1

I do think it is noble that your wife would give her life for someone else. Her family is not necessarily mad, but scared of the idea that if this situation were to happen, they would lose their loved one. It is much easier to deal with the lose of a child you don't know versus a person who has been in your life for so many years. This is a sad, but good conversation to have with your wife.

Answer 2

I can tell you this, My best friend forever got pregnant and was doing great the entire time, she was 7 mo. pregnant when she was hit by a wreckless driver, she was air lifted to the hospital and put in ICU. She had suffered brain damage, and it was now a choice between her and her child, since she was 19 then and not married, her parents chose her life although she may never make it and if she did, she would be mentally disabled for the rest of her life! Her child on the other hand if chosen would have been in perfect condition, happy and healthy. My friend told me, before this happened, that if anything were to happen to which it would be a situation like that, she would want her child to live. My friend is now 23 yrs. old and in a wheel chair for the rest of her life, never to lead a normal life, because she is mentally disabled, and mentally challenged. She can barely speak, and has to eat through a straw, and has to wear diapers.

I to now am 38 weeks pregnant, and 23 yrs. old, and as a soon to be mother, i would also give my life for my child, my husband knows this and doesn't want to deal with it, but he respects my decision, and would raise our son without me if need be!

So yes i agree with your wife, and the woman on t.v. isn't a horrible person, just not a real mother!

Answer 3

I have to agree with her. If I were in that situation I would have the baby and take the chances. Dr's have been known to be wrong before. Dr's can't give anyone a definite answer on these kinds of things. They can only tell you what "might" go wrong. My aunt had cancer back in 1986. The Dr's told her that she had from 6 weeks to 6 months to live. She didn't pass away until 2000 and it wasn't even from cancer, it was from Congestive Heart Failure. Dr's can only make estimated guesses on things like these. I wouldn't jump the gun and abort my child all because a Dr said that carrying the baby would kill me. They don't know that for sure. That's just my opinion though.

Answer 4

Yes, I agree with you/your wife: it is beautiful that a mother would sacrifice herself for a child like that. However, if I were a man whose wife may have to die giving birth to a baby unless she aborts it, then I would rather losing the baby than losing my wife.

I know it probably sounds mean & selfish, but when I marry someone, that means I love my spouse whom I'm married to... My spouse is very precious to me, and especially when I could prevent my spouse from dying, I would explore all options to keep her alive. I'd tell her that we don't have to have a baby to feel complete or happy; we already have each other!

There's probably always a risk in giving birth to a baby, so when it's something we can't prevent, and/or when my wife choses to sacrifice her life for the baby, then that's up to her, & I'll respect her wish since I know it's what she wants & what makes her happy. But I don't want her to sacrifice herself just because she thinks I want the baby, or just because she thinks she's expected to do so... I'd tell her that it would be a beautiful thing to see her give her all for the baby, but what's more beautiful to me is when the baby is born into the world where he'd have his mother to love & nurture him.

In this case, I don't think aborting the baby translates to killing the baby per se, but for me, I think it translates as sort of self-defense or survival..? In this case, I see the whole thing as one of the sad, tragic things that happen in our life as human being or as a couple, and it's part of living in this world, I guess: we make choices we think is best for us.

Having said this, I understand how your wife's family is getting all worked up because different people have different ways of seeing things that happen in this world. I don't think your wife's family & your wife should argue about this anymore, though, just because it's one of those things where people just have the right to make their own decision, & that there is no right or wrong answer.

Answer 5

I think that is a very difficult and personal decision. I can't say what I would do....

I have one son now and can't bear the thought of leaving him motherless. I also know my husband would have a hard time without me (not because he's incapable, it would just be hard on either of us raising a child alone.)

I am also a nurse and know that there are very few conditions that will result in inevitable death of a mother. I would probably do alot of research and have a long talk with my husband and pastor. I know I couldn't make any decision without praying first. I would just hope that God would give me a clear and easy answer to what I am supposed to do.

I agree it is beautiful for a woman to sacrifice her life for her child, but it's would be a hard decision to make.

Answer 6

I absolutely agree with your wife why take away a chance for a new life to be brought into the world I have lived my life if the only meaningfully thing I do is bring a wonderful new person into the world then I have done my job.But it is up to the person not all would take the same approach.families I think can get upset but ultimately I think its your choice and they should respect it.

Very Good Subject :)

Answer 7

She is a woman from the soul. Thats just the way we think. Our children are the most important thing in our lives. I would give my life for my unborn child. Its the most unselfish act anyone can do, and I applaud her. Her family is feeling the connection to her and the hurt they would experience vs the feeling she would have for her child. Thats the difference.
They shouldnt be mad, but try to look at it from her point of view. Especially the women who have been given the blessing of a child.
Bravo to her.

Answer 8

I've heard it's very rare for a mother to die during child birth any more, especially in the U.S. But a baby is a beautiful life, & I think your wife is right.

Answer 9

My Aunt died 12 hours after childbirth. Her daughter had a horrible upbringing. We wonder everytime we see her what her life would have been like if my aunt had lived. It hope I am never in that situation of having to choose my life over my childs. But, having the wonderful husband that I have, I would probably chose the baby over mine. I know he would raise a wonderful baby.

Answer 10

I was in this position and i choose me i could not imagine giving my baby any kind of head start in life without a mother to teach them. it was the hardest decision i had to make ever but now i have a son who has a mother to teach him things and he has a stable life not one where he would feel guilty forever knowing that he lived and mom died becasue of him/her