Autism . are violent video games good to play in a kids of 9 I say no but need some input?

Question

My step son Is 9 we think he has autism his mom thinks it is ADHD but for some one with adhd he can play games,read books and set in on spot for a long time and reed and color. kids with ADHd don't set still that long I know I have ADHD and so does my son.. ANd we do not take any thing for it.BUT my step son shows all sighs for autism we go friday .. I don't think he should play games tha have killing and Ok (Vice city) (Guns) and games like that his mom said it is fine, we say 1 hr a day is all she lets him to what ever . Need help on ways to help my step son .. so any one that can help with this please do . we are lost.

We are taking him some palce friday

We say 1 hr and thats it We make him go by my sons rules and he has ADHD so not to much TV ,1 hr of games if he plays. and you don't talk back or miss behave..... we are hard on my son be if we are hard on my step son he goes to his moms and than we get a phone call and there is goes.... my son is ADHD home school no meds But be gets all A's and B's in school. so we must be doing some thing right wth him. I just hope we can work with my step son..

Answer 1

Go away STYREE dear you bug me.

Sometimes autism can be mistaken for ADHD because their fixations or obsessions may lead them away from things you ask them to do and gravitate them back toward the object of their obsession. They cannot focus on the task at hand because their object of interest has them too mesmerized to concentrate on anything else. Many people do not recognize the fixations and only see that the child does not stay on task, thus the ADHD assumption.

Having grown up with autism (asperger's) myself, I can remember that when I played a video game or watched something on TV, I was always quick to point out problems or inconsistencies between what happened on TV and what was logically possible in real life. Those discrepancies, because they frustrated me so, made real the difference between TV and reality. I have never been inclined to commit acts of violence in real life based on what I saw in any of the video games I've played, because the conditions that need to be present (i.e. the conditions in the game such as setting of the area; feasibility, legality, and accessibility of weapons; and most importantly the reset button should anything go awry) are clearly not present in the real world and it brings to my attention the many differences between the two worlds.

You mentioned that he is very smart, hence the A's and B's at school. Sometimes autistic children are very good in concrete-type subject areas, as many school subjects tend to be. So for the video games, you should simply talk to him about them, not in a questioning manner, but as though you are interested. If he is autistic, he will then proceed to tell you everything he knows about the games he plays. See if he mentions things like stuff that "couldn't really happen" or circumstances that are one way in the game but "should be this way..." Try to entice him to go into those sorts of topics. If he does this, then the games are probably no big deal. If he seems blind to things like that, then he may not have the concepts separated and it may be something to look at.

But remember this: he needs something he can be good at. By age 9 he will begin to realize that he is different, so anything he can excel at, it needs to be harnessed somehow so that he doesn't become so isolated. If he is sharp enough to recognize the fictionality of his video games, then he should probably be allowed to play them. They may be one of his few ways of identiifying with his peers.

But that's not to say that you should let the games be his life by any means. You should talk to him -- a lot. Ask him what he likes. Talk to him about everyday life. That will also help him see the differences. Yes he will need withdrawal time. But be sure you're there ready when he does look for interaction. Letting him know he is loved and supported will be very important to him from this stage on.

Good luck.

Answer 2

This is a very hard and touchy subject so I am going to try to say this and hope that you take this OK. If the mother has joint custudy with the child, then she being the main parent in his life has most of the say, so it is going to be hard for you to lay down the rules or even establish any.

I agree with you that violent Video games are very harmful to any child but especially an Autistic or even an ADHD child. Autism can take many forms, my son is very hyperactive and he has Autism, and then there are some that are not. Autism effects Language, Social Skills, and usually they have sensory issues as well. Children with ADHD can sit for long periods of time if they are doing something that interest them, only a doc will be able to truely determine this. Children with Asbergers Syndrome will be Highly inteligent, but have no social skills what so ever, and they have a huge vocabulary. There are many forms of disabilities. Being a mother and having someone else tell you that there is something wrong with your child is not easy and so I am sure that the mother of this child is probably in Denial.

I am not trying to be mean or bash you for thinking this child may be Autistic, I am just trying to look at the situation Objectively. I think in your case when the child is in my home, if the other children are not aloud to play Violent Video games then the same rules apply for him as well. You will have to be consistant of this. You will not be able to do anything about what the mother does when he is not with you because she is aloud to make her on choices.

I am sorry that I am not much help on this, but this is a tough one given the situation that you have.

Answer 3

Wait on the results from his doctor before you make any radical changes. Its possible the child is physically and mentally ok, but lacking in discipline at home with his mother. If thats the case, there really isn't a whole lot you can do but give him rules and set a good example when he is with you and your husband.

I recently read an article that said video games can be helpful. Some people get a sense of accomplishment from video game achievements. Playing video games can also be a way to relax and escape the stresses of life. However, video games are like anything else, too much of a good thing isn't good. I, personally, don't think anything is wrong with a child playing a violent video game as long as that child understands the difference between real life and the game. I also agree that the time spent playing video games and watching TV should be limited. Kids don't develop and learn from a simulated environment as well as they do in the real environment.

Answer 4

Usually autism would have shown up by now unless he is in the milder range. I'm no doctor, but attention deficit disorder does not always include the hyperactivity. For a nine-year-old, definitely no games that depict violence on humans because that age is not able to separate fantasy from reality so well. Even many teens cannot do this. So that should be the discerning factor in deciding if at all to allow any violent games. You may be able to find games in which perhaps dinosaurs fight each other, or robots, or games like Legos Star Wars that have some fighting but do not extol the violence against humans.

Answer 5

Autism or not, a 9 year old should not play violent video games. I have a 9 year old and he has a good friend with autism and a 11 year old medically diagnosed ADHD cousin, and I see no difference in making the decision to let any of them play a violent video game! I think you guys have bigger fish to fry than video games. A diagnosis of ADHD (make sure that is done by a medical exam such as a brain scan and not just based on answers to questions) or the Autistic Spectrum are not the end of the world. That is the beginning of your journey to get him help.

Answer 6

Firstly, kids with add, as opposed to adhd, are able to focus very intently on things they enjoy. The problem is typically the inability to shift focus.

Violent video games, it is suggested in research, makes kids less compassionate, insensitive to violence.

It's very difficult for this poor boy, because his family is broken and the two halves don't agree.

What does he think? What dos he want to spend his time on? He's so young.

I think the key to help him not feel overwhelmed is to be loving and supportive, letting him know that his future is before him and the choices he makes now will determine where he goes in life.

Help him feel more and more in control of his destiny, by giving him information and meaningful choices. I think limiting tv and games is great - it certainly can't hurt him.

I hope you get more time with him as his mom doesn't seem too in to him.

Answer 7

Kids with autism cannot distinguish between reality and make believe. Theres a big difference between ADD and Autism. An autism child will sit and stare sometimes not talk at all and they like to line up things like toy-shoes anything. Some will rock back and forth while sitting down doing something. One in six children have autism these days.

Answer 8

If he's your stepson why doesn't your husband take the initive and just take him to a specialist? Your husband has a vested interest in his son's health. If the child's mother doesn't comply go seek the approval of the court.

If there are issues like this that are affecting his school work, health, and general wellbeing why not fight for custody?

Answer 9

Autistic or not, you guys have to be tough with him. No kid at that age should be spending so much time just playing video games specially violent ones. Kids should be outdoors spending their time more often. But if he really is autistic is even worse. They can begin to behave dangereously...take action now before it gets worse

Answer 10

DEAR YOU ARE RIGHT SAY NO YOU SHOULD SAY NO TAKE CARE