Well I'm 19 years old and a student at a college that has a student body of 13,000+ and I'm single. I haven't been on a date in more than two years and my ex dumped me about a year and a half ago. I'm really shy. I'm very fit. I workout 4 days a week. Most friends that are girls think I'm good looking. I have a problem approaching girls. My problem is I've never had to approach a girl. My ex asked me out. Lame I know but I was content in high school, or so I thought. Getting dumped was rough but I finally got over it about two months ago. Now I'm single with no real 'skills' for a lack of a better expression. I've only dated three girls and my last was the only serious one. So my Dilemma is that I've never had to 'compete' for a girl or even start a conversation. I've never just walked up to a girl and tried to talk to her. I have very little confidence in myself about this. It's weird cause in high school I was in all kinds of sports. Female input would be great!
2007-01-29 10:56:25 · 12 answers · asked by steelhead3686 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also I don't drink. I used to be in the party scene but not anymore. I just need to know what girls think when guys approach them out of nowhere and try to talk to them. I would feel like an idiot. Like if she wanted to talk to be she would let me know. That's always been my thoughts. I'm so helpless. Could you shed some light on my situation. I feel I'll be alone forever.
2007-01-29 10:59:50 · update #1
Also I have no friends. Sounds impossible but it's true.
2007-01-29 11:04:46 · update #2
Please don't come on here preaching God. And the problem is I don't have much confidence in myself. Everyone does but me. I think some of the answers are just confirming that I'll be alone forever. And it's easy to say it takes longer for others when you have someone. I feel utterly hopeless.
2007-01-29 11:15:43 · update #3
Obviously your are trying to stay in your "comfort zone". Take a chance and just ask a girl for a date. Don't take any rejection too personally Whether she accepts or not, you have expanded your comfort zone a little. Every time you force yourself to ask for a date, you will get more comfortable with it. Keep trying. Then you will wonder why you felt so shy about it in the first place! Good luck
2007-01-29 11:02:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You Steelers room had nothing on mine!
Ok, sorry just had to add that one. Well confidence is a great thing to have. You can hang out with girls(as friends) and then maybe try to make one more than a friend. It is better to be friends first, you know the person and you don't have to waist time on a pointless date.
Well about the approach out if nowhere..... some girls might think that you are just like some other guys. Wanting ***. ( sorry to be blunt...) You need to have a friendly approach...not so flirty(at first) Just talk to them. Strike up a casual conversation when you are doing laundry, at the store etc.. It wont be weird becuase it isn't like you singleing her out... you are in the general area so not as weird.
2007-01-29 19:02:48 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in college too. In my opinion, it's probably very akward to just walk up to a girl, from both person's stand point. In your classes do you ever have groups? Sometimes when I think a guy is hot I will sit next to them b/c in my psyc classes most teachers have groups so I know if I sit next to a hot guy I can just say "wanna be in a group" plus they'll be a few others. orrrr if there is a hot girl in your class then maybe sit near her one day but dont look nervous or look at her the whole time but if you get there a little early you can say "are your grades good? i've been having trouble do you think you could help me study sometime?" some girls might say no b/c they dont have time or might not know the material that well themselves. also, go to parties. you don't have to drink but a lot of girls are more open, flirty, talkative, and less likely to be mean if they are in that atmosphere. you could get her number and say 'we should hang out sometime' or 'i seem to run out of people to eat on campus with, would u like to eat with me sometime?" its hard in college cuz everyone has a different schedule, but don't force it because the girl can tell. a lot of pretty girls go to my school and are single so it doesn't matter how you look, sometimes things just dont fall through. and most of the time, unless a girl is flirty, she will expect you to come up to her. just look for cues-if you see a girl keep looking at you or she smiles a lot when you all talk, she probably likes you. good luck but dont expect things to happen right away either!
2007-01-29 19:06:14 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aww sweetness if you see a girl looking at you go up to her and ask her name and start small talk with you. Like if you go to the library or the gym start there. i was going to say go out with your friends but sadly you said you had none...i will be your friend everyone needs one hun. Just start getting out of your shy shell your only 19, never know what is going to happen down the road. I wish you the best of luck. I used to be really shy if that helps and the past year i changed a lot just not caring what people thought about me and just began to mingle with people and being more outgoing. Aww come to memphis i will show you hows its done lol ;) best of luck sweetie! holla back tell me how your progressing ...
2007-01-29 19:40:15 · answer #4 · answered by Lauren_Ann20 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.....drinking to losen your nerves was really the one and only option I was going to offer you. Funny how alcohol does that.
Anyway, I would experiment with lots of body language. Smile a lot. Use lots of eye contact, too. After a while you get a feeling from a girl if she is receptive or not. Body language is great because you can avoid verbal communication until you feel there is a mutual attraction. Then say 'hi' if you think there is a vibe between the two of you.
2007-01-29 19:05:04 · answer #5 · answered by erathemass01 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please don't feel alone. I am also very shy and still single. I would personally really like it if a guy just came up to me and started talking to me. It would mean that he wants to be friends with me (at least, lol!). I think you should go right on ahead and try and just start talking to any girl. What I would do to start is just go up to her and ask her a question about class or something like that. Then, you should start talking more and more with her.... That will hopefully boost your confidence level! :)
2007-01-29 19:04:16 · answer #6 · answered by Dancer101 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if this is the biggest problem you're facing in college, you're either doing REALLY well in your studies, or you're currently slacking off for the pursuit of couplehood. Rethink your priorities, dearie.
2007-01-29 20:37:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, some people are meant to go through life without a significant other. Some other people aren't meant to meet their significant other until later in your life. And, good for you that you have confidence in yourself. Just keep working on how you feel about yourself and God will lead your life how he sees fit.
2007-01-29 19:12:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
that sux...well u should be confident first of all cuz i hate it when guys talk to me and they're so immature and insecure...if ur good looking and know how to talk/treat a girl ull do fine...if u need anymore help u can im me or email me ;) good luck
2007-01-29 19:06:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm too tired to read all that. But if it's about you looking for a girl, go for it. AND if your not, they're nothing bad about it
2007-01-29 19:01:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋