Mother: Struggled all her life, got GED and 70 hours of college. Had emotional issues, gained weight that was unable to lose, but did the best she could all the way around.
Daughter: Went to school, straight As, excelled in everything, graduated from high school as valedictorian, graduated university with honors, and graduated from medical school, now in residency. Dated the richest boy in town during high school years, (whose uncle happened to be a congressman representing their area), and married the son of a prominent cardiologist.
Looks down on mother and entire family, acts all the time like she's ashamed of her background, mother is hurt, they have had many fall outs because of daughter's attitude of superiority. Mother ready to disown daughter, because she's "too elitist". Mother's voice gets on her nerves. Always correcting, always expessing disagreement usually at mom's expense. Mom can't take it anymore.
Who is right? Who is wrong?
2007-01-29 10:55:42 · 14 answers · asked by llexpat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To SJ -- It is daughter that contradicts mother, and expresses disagreement at mother's expense.
2007-01-29 11:03:02 · update #1
You don't need to "disown" her. If she's making things that bad for you, then simply don't talk to her. If you're supporting her with anything, don't. Until she learns to respect her own mother, the one who brought her into this world, and the rest of her family, she can be on her own. I know it may hurt you to not talk to her, but if that is the way she is treating you and you've mentioned it to her, it's time to let her go and realize that the only way she will change is if she wants to change. I don't really think this is a matter of who is "right" .. what matters is that she is not treating you with the love and respect you deserve, and you don't sound like the type of person who would bring her up and raise her that way. Her success is getting to her head. So if you haven't told her how you feel, do it, and if you have, don't see her, maybe talk to her on the phone once in awhile. If you're at your wits end, you probably don't want to be around her anyway.
Good luck.
2007-01-29 11:16:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't a matter of who's right or wrong here. The fact is the daughter needs to always show her parent respect! When the daughter was age 5 her personality was pretty much formed, whom does she think filled her mind with all the "right" morals and thoughts growing up? HER MOTHER!!! Just knowing the information we do about the daughter, we can assume her child hood was very full of comfort and deep loving, if the daughter turned out as well as the letter states. A baby's mind is like a sponge when they are born, it's takes a good parent to teach and guide them in the right way-for them to turn out good. Sounds like this daughter turned out pretty secure and happy. And now her thanks to her mother is by acting like a spoiled , selfish, inconsiderate-adult-who can't stand her mothers voice! WOW, this daughter is going to get a rude awakening! I bet she sure liked it when her mom told her rhymes tho!! I am sorry to say, that one day the daughter will be sorry she ever felt or acted this way towards her mom. You will only have just one mother while you are on this earth, and you should thank God everyday for that.
2007-01-29 11:34:59 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay for a start, this daughter needs to realize that she wouldnt be where she is today if it were not for her mother, no need to act bigger and better than her mother the mother knows this already she just wants to be appriecated and remembered for all the good she has done for her child, in the same breath the mother has to also realize that her lil girl is grown up now and not to keep treating her as a child but as an adult. All in all i think the daughter needs to let her mother know how much it means to her for all the mother has done and to stop acting like a snob just cause she has excelled, mother just be proud her daughter has made it and stop trying to keep her young in her own mind because she has grown up and so should her mind.
2007-01-29 11:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by innocentkitty2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if the daughter looks down on the mother or that the mother projects her own insecurities onto the daughter who is successful and, therefore, intimidates the mother whether she intends to or not. Perhaps the mother is even threatened by the achievements she herself helped to foster. This reminds me of "The Allegory of the Cave." The daughter has made it out of the cave and upon her return is met by fierce opposition by the mother. If the mother will yield a bit, she too may see what the daughter sees.
2007-01-29 11:05:54 · answer #4 · answered by Angela B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is right or wrong. If that is what you are looking for, then all you will do is perpetuate the problem. What you need to do is find some common ground where you can agree and start to repair this. There has to be trust and respect, otherwise there is no ground for relationship. Try making the first offer of peace. That way you are a "bigger" person. Do not respond to any baiting, but just offer love. It must be unconditional.
2007-01-29 11:12:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be where I am today career wise if it hadn't been for my mom. She struggled, was uneducated and did without so I could make something of myself. The daughter is this case, is self-centered and a snob. Her mom made many sacrifices in order for her daughter to have a good life and what does she get back? A kick in the ***! Shame on the daughter for being a materialistic leech.
2007-01-29 11:05:36 · answer #6 · answered by nuttin'fancy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
neither of you are wrong, you are both very emotionally attached to eachother. We tend to hurt the ones we love the most. Maybe she just needs some space, Im sure when it comes down to it, she loves you and respects you for everything shes done, I know my mom gets on my nerves more than anyone else. I still love her tons but I went through phases were I really treated her like crap. Ive come around since then and hopefully she will too. Maybe though she turned into a yuppie, if she thinks shes too good for you then leave her be, she will come back to you and admit her mistakes when shes ready.
2007-01-29 11:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by Candy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's too bad that the daughter has no appreciation for how she got where she is. If it weren't for her mother, she could have had much less. Then again, what did mom do all those years to make sure she was raising an appreciative daughter as opposed to a little witch? I don't know what to say.....it is what it is.
2007-01-29 11:02:42 · answer #8 · answered by Scunnered! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the daughter is wrong for looking down on her mother, because it was her mother who helped her get to the superior position she is in 2day, and they are family. The mother is at fault for always correcting her daughter and expressing disagreement, she should show that she is proud of her daughters accomplishments.
2007-01-29 11:01:25 · answer #9 · answered by sj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
loosen up. Take a heat bubble tub, examine that well known e book. Be advantageous to your self. Then take a calmer innovations-set to the difficulty. Being a teenager is fairly troublesome, espically while issues pop up like your mom getting married, divorces, dying, ect;. communicate on your mom while shes on my own, no longer inclusive of your new father. do no longer run away. this might only make concerns worse. consult with a college consilure (ive by no skill been waiting to spell that). you're who you're and its YOUR selection wether to quralle inclusive of your mom or no longer. once you start up scuffling with take a minute and take a inspect to make certain if what you're scuffling with approximately is stupid, like a sibling stealing your eyeliner, or great, extensive. Like a chum getting pregnant... Its ALL as much as you.
2016-09-28 04:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋