Is home schooling right if......?

Question

Do you think home schooling is right if it's not working for the child and the child wants to go to school?

Okay, first of all I'm not talking about me, I'm saying is it right to keep a child home schooled if it's not working. And yes same in public school.

I'm saying, shouldn't parents do whats best for the child?

Answer 1

If its not working for then child then try something different, instead of giving up, if you've exhausted all avenues then maybe its not the best thing.
Homeschooling can be wonderful, but its not for everyone.

Answer 2

For me it depends. How old is the child? Why is homeschool not working? Why does the child want to go to public school? What is the quality of the local public school?

I have an eight year old, and if he told me tomorrow he wanted to go to public school I would try to solve whatever problem he was having first. If there were social reasons that were valid or difficulties that we just could not fix, or we were not meeting his need academically and the local school had a stronger program, at that point I would agree with him and allow it. However if he just didn't want to do the work, or was just saying it because he was going through a period of defiance, or because he wanted a girlfriend, or more time with friends and the school was academicly sub par then I would have to say no.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

I've been homeschooled just about all my life. I was in public school for a very short time in fourth and fifth grade. In fourth grade, I really wanted to try school, so about three months before the end of the school year, my mom enrolled me and my sister. It was fun, the kids were nice, the teacher was great, and it was a mostly good experience. However, when I continued into fifth grade, the way the teachers taught wasn't working well with my learning style, and the kids were unfriendly. I was having a very hard time, and my mom let me be homeschooled again. As soon as I stopped, my reading grade went up three years ahead because I had a lot more time to read exiting books with the extra free time, I got ahead in almost everything else as well, and I became a lot happier. I still kept an active social life because I regularly attend a homeschool co-op. I have been homeschooled ever since, and I love it a hundred times more than public school.

However my little sister, who's a social butterfly who craves being around people 24/7, unlike me who likes to be alone a lot of the time, begged to stay in public school for years after, and my mom let her do that. That has been great for her until sixth grade when many of the kids started being very clique-ish and mean, which was distracting her from her education. So we put her back in homeschooling this year, and even though she misses being around kids all the time every day, she's been learning a lot faster, and she's made some new wonderful friends at the homeschool co-op we attend two days a week.

Bottom line, if your kid REALLY wants to try school, enroll him a few months before the school year ends, so that if he hates it or has problems learning well, he won't be in there for long. If his behavior starts changing a lot, he's learning slower, or his behavior starts turning worse, and he starts using dirty language and stuff, than take him out. If making friends more easily is the only problem for him, get him involved in a homeschool co-op somewhere! It's where you can take classes a few times a week, and meet lots of other homeschoolers of all ages. Look on the internet for one in your area.

Answer 4

Do you think public schooling is right if it's not working for the child and the child wants to homeschool?

Then there's another issue: how do you know if it's truly not working for the child and it's not simply that the child is acting a bit bratty because they think that they will get their way to have something they think they want?

I met a homeschooled girl this past summer. She had been homeschooling for one year. If you'd heard her talk, homeschooling was the worst thing in the world. This coming from a 13/14yo who was wearing the latest skimpy clothes and was embarrassed that other people around her knew she was homeschooled--even though all the people around her were homeschoolers.

Somebody could say: Hey, that girl's unhappy! It's obviously not working for her. That mom should put her back in school!

Somebody else could have a deeper look and say: That girl should've been pulled from school before she got so focused on peer approval.

I think there are cases where it is indeed not working and it would be great if the parents could see that and try something else. But not every case of the child thinking it's not working and wanting to go to school supposedly because of it is really that.

Answer 5

For me, the child wanting to go to school would be one consideration but not the only consideration, or probably even a major consideration. It would be less of a consideration the younger the child. For example, my 7 year old changes her mind about things about every 10 minutes, so she might want to attend school one day and then want to homeschool the next day. In fact, that would be a very likely scenario if I let her decide her school choice. I think 7 year olds should be given smaller decisions like what they will be wearing for the day or what shoes and work up to bigger decisions like that when they are older, like community college, college, or vocational programs when they are 17 years old.

Also, you don't mention why it's not working for your child. That could be many different things. My son is dyslexic for example, so if I had begun homeschooling, I might have had problems when teaching him reading and writing and thought that homeschooling was not working out. But my son started out with preschool and then 2 years of school which actually was a failure for him, and homeschooling actually worked out better for us than school. If lack of socializing is a problem, you could sign up your child for additional sports programs, classes, or homeschooling groups or classes.

Since you don't say what is not working, it is hard to say if school might be a solution or not, but it is a possibility that school will not be the solution for which you are looking. For example, the school system where we lived didn't offer us any help with my son's dyslexia, just suggested we take him to a private center for help. But maybe school will work great for your child. Maybe you can add more info or ask another question later if you need. Good luck with your choice!

Answer 6

You don't really give enough info for an intelligent answer--there are a lot of factors to consider. Such as, how old is this child (the older the kid, the more I would take their feelings into account.) And what do you mean by working? Which is to say, what are the goals for this person's education? Is it to prepare them to work at a high paying job? To collect as many facts as possible in their head? To find a date for Prom? You'd have to indicate what you think the purpose of schooling is and why you don't think it is happening.

The goals of public education are to serve society. To create a common knowledge and skill base, as well as a shared world view. If parents don't agree that this world view is beneficial or that the methods of achieving the knowledge base are effective, they ought to be allowed to educate their children according to what they see best.

I know you won't like this, but I don't think what the child wants really matters that much. I'd listen to my kids wishes and take them into consideration, but if they were giving me lame reasons like "I want to play with my friends more," that really wouldn't cause me to change school methods. It might make me arrange more time with friends--sports, activities, etc. I might consider school if they gave me a reason like, "I really don't understand my science without doing the labs," or, "I want to be a computer programmer and I am not getting it using just this book," but those would be at the highschool level, and it wouldn't be necessary to abandon homeschooling to take classes at the high school.

If you mean by "not working" that parent and child are never doing anything that is educational or moving the child forward in their learning, yes that would call for examining the educational methods and venues. If you mean that the child wishes they could play with their friends more, no, I don't think that alone should be grounds to alter course.

A parent has the responsibility to do what is best for their child and they have the right and responsability to see what that is. Being heard is an important need for a child, but that doesn't mean their desires ought to be invariably obeyed.

Answer 7

I strongly believe that a lot of times the reason a child "wants" to go a public school is more because of a pressure to conform than because he thinks he would do well in a regular school setting. In every case the kids I've known who switched from homeschooling to public school simply because they felt they would make more friends, or be popular turned into completely different people, and very disagreeable people indeed. I've had several close friends who decided they wanted to go to regular school (regular by their standards), did badly with their schoolwork on purpose to pressure their parents into letting them go, and promptly forgot all about learning and conformed completely to the public school mentality. I only have one friend who decided to go to a small private school to learn, and kept that her main objective, and she didn't change at all. (If you're going to raise the argument that the other kids went to public schools, that isn't the case. My at-one-time closest friend attended a school almost identical, and she became obsessed with her looks and obsessed with getting a boyfriend.)
I would say that the parent and child should have a long discussion about why the child wants to attend a school, and if the reasons have to do with social things, the parent should just get the kid involved in some kind of extra-curricular activity.

Answer 8

I'd have to know in what way it's not working for the child? And are you the child in question?

If a parent doesn't feel the child is succeeding in homeschool, it is the parent's responsibility to determine what is not working and attempt to correct it (lack of socilization? join a club, team, co-op, etc., not completing work? too difficult, too easy, not interesting, ...) If the parent isn't able to correct it, then public or private school MAY be an option, keeping in mind that an inattentive child at home will probably be even less so in a classroom setting.

If the CHILD is questioning the efficacy of homeschooling, he or she needs to bring his or her concerns to the parent and allow the parent to determine a remedy.

Just as I don't allow my children total freedom to choose what they'll eat or wear or when they'll go to bed each day, I don't allow them to decide what school situation is best for them. Parents have wisdom and experience FAR beyond that of their children. Are ALL our decisions right? Of course not. But we usually have the best interests of our children in mind when making decisions that WILL affect their future (such as education)

Answer 9

First off, there are ample opportunities for your kids to get the socialization they need. So don't base your decision on that alone.

I was homeschooled as was my wife and my other siblings. There are a lot of organizations out there that support home schooling by providing certified teachers (for the hard classes) that meet once a week which keeps with the home atmosphere.

I was taught at home from 4th grade on, then had tutors for high school grades. Yeah, I procrastinated --we all do, and most of us hated being home all the time. "the grass is always greener... eh". The difference lies in the curriculum and the learning ability in higher education.

All kids are different though. I graduated (as did my wife) top of our undergraduate programs, and I am currently in Grad school. College was easy for me. However, some of my siblings refuse to go to college and hated the homeschool atmosphere.

You have to choose what is right for you kid; How is the school system where you live? Do you have the time to dedicate to homeschooling? Do you have resources available in your area (homeschool groups and such)? These are all factors you'll have to balance in making that determination.

socialization is easy fix with sports, drama, groups, etc... focus your decision on needs and whether you can satisfy them.


good luck

Answer 10

It really depends on the age of the child i think. I am 15 years old and decided that the public school system was not enough for me. Graduation here and now is what I wanted. I and my parents believe that I am capable of making a decision on that. So, if they are older kids and have been presented all of the public school facts, then let them make their own decision. It'll help them prepare for their own future. After all, they'll make all their choices on their own then. Help them out while you still can.

Answer 11

I think that if you can afford to send the child to a good school with a good school where the child will be able to make friends, it's definitely better to send the child to school rather than homeschooling. I actually did this (being the child), after being homeschooled for 4 years. When I was younger I was very shy, so I didn't enjoy school very much and dropped out to begin homeschooling. I liked homeschooling for about the first 3 years, but after that my shyness had begun to fade and I wasn't motivated enough. So this year (7th grade), I decided to go back to school and think it was a very good choice. I've made a lot of friends, am very motivated and challenged, and am all in all happier than the last year I homeschooled. So I say that if the child feels like he/she should go to school, and you think that he/she can handle it and you can send them to a good school, it's definitely a good choice both socially and educationally.