Ok, my children live with me full time. There father lives with his mother and they live in a small camper trailer so my kids cant go there to visit him. I allow him to come and stay at my place every other weekend so he can see the kids. Well While i am gone for the week he lets the kids break all the rules. They are ages 3, 5, and 7. So they do know the rules. I have also gone over the rules with him. And to top it off, he lets them eat all the lunch food. I support them with out any help from him so it makes me so mad because i cant afford that. I know there are alot of people who would say dont let him see the kids, this and that but they need to have there father in there life. Any advise on what is best?
2007-01-29 10:06:03 · 14 answers · asked by Randa 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You need to have a family conference with your expartner and the kids.Tell him you have rules for the kids to abide by.Have them written up somewhere for the kids to see.I guess he spolis them because he only sees them on a weekend.Even so you need to put your foot down otherwise they when the kids get older you might run into trouble with them .
2007-01-29 10:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree u should let the father see the kids. I would however make it clear what the rules are in YOUR home and if daddy cant agree and go along with that then daddy needs to find a place to spend time with the kid outside ur home. He is the father and can come up with ideas as well. there is no reason why u should have to control and run it all. If he wants to see the kids then he will make a priority of it. I would say he should be paying child support but that is between u and him. if u are ok with him not paying then thats fine. u know the situation more then me. I do however feel he needs to be a father and control the kids while he is in charge or find a new place to see them where ur home isnt being invaded and tore to pieces cause of his lack of care. good luck and God Bless
2007-01-29 10:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by goober 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him and explain how you are feeling and do tell him (just as a thret more then a promise) that if he can't follow the rules you will have to treat him like a child and ground him for a while from the children. Maybe that will make him wise up and listen and follow the rules also let him know that just because he is not living with them doesn't mean he is not a full time father and needs to act like a father NOT a freind that is only going to hurt them in the long run they need him to be a parent as well. I hope this helps and good luck.
2007-01-29 10:12:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough one, I'm sure you explained it to him right? Looks like he is making you out to be the bad guy here ( you tell them no, he tells them yes) The ages of your kids are young so I would have to tell him that there are rules for a reason and that if he don't like it then don't come around and that you will go after him for some money to feed your kids..I'm sure your not made of money and the last time I checked it took "2" people to have the kids..This is a good question and I do think kids need a father but not a dead beat...
2007-01-29 10:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him know that if they were visiting him in his own house he could have different rules. Let him know that if he cannot enforce your rules he is not welcome in your home. Sure they need a father in their life, but not an irresponsible one. When I used to visit my dad for the weekends he would let me do whatever I wanted, I ended up resenting my mom because she had all the rules. I am 21 now and see how hard it was on my mom. She was the full time parent in my life and you have to have and enforce rules. I would suggest taking him to court for a child support settlement... even if you don't want to, it needs to be done. Your kids will respect you for being responsible and taking care of their needs.
2007-01-29 10:13:36 · answer #5 · answered by shugarmagnolia420 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nicely.. once you're between the an prolonged time of three-5 i think of that this is thoroughly fantastic in public to whom ever. 5-10 are the an prolonged time that are okay to coach nudity infront of their mom and dad. I advise, i used to be somewhat strange, I used to stroll around without shirt at that age, and that i'm a female.. I did it for exciting only. 11/12 and above is the suitable time to stay faraway from it.. it is while one is a pre-teenager, turning out to be, hormones racing.. no longer a competent time for the nudity area infront of everyone except there are issues as such. Cheers!
2016-09-28 04:05:38 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do need to see their dad but, when you're not there, there's not much you can do about them breaking the rules. They are quite young for you to expect perfect behavior from them, especially if the father doesn't help.
As for the food, buy a lock, put it on your bedroom door and store the food in there, while you're gone. If the food is perishable, put it in a cooler.
2007-01-29 10:14:27 · answer #7 · answered by rustybones 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like me. I put up with so much crap to be a nice person and to have the dad involved.
I learned the hard way that if he is disrespecting you or your home. That is what your babies will learn to do to you also. THEY REALLY WILL .
I know it is easier to be Nice and passive but it hurts when they stop listening because that is part of their parental upbringing. He should not earn their love by disrespecting your rules in your home.
If he is parenting out of love and not selfishness them he will follow your rules because it is best for him . If he will not then he is truly hurting them. Seriously hurting them and confusing them so much.
2007-01-29 10:14:46 · answer #8 · answered by sweet pea 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for you, but i agree with you the kids need to see there dad, you have tried to talk to him, hmmmm... when you know he is coming try to schedule your grocery shopping accordingly, so there is only so much in the house, as far as the rules go, keep trying to get through to him, but as hard as it is to hear your kids will appreciate your way in time, if it helps i had a similar situation with my eldest, and he is now 16 and thanks me, he is also sooo much closer to me then his dad, you are being a great selfless mom, I'm proud of you, i know how difficult it must be
2007-01-29 10:50:12 · answer #9 · answered by melissa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried supervising the visits with him? And children do need their father so not letting them not see him is not the answer you are right about that!!!
2007-01-29 10:26:11 · answer #10 · answered by Amy L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋