I have been contemplating whether or not I truly want to live at home! See, I have applied for college and I don't want to stay at home (the horrible side to this story is that if I stay I will still be treated like a little kid by my mother) the 2 schools that I really want to go to are out here in NYC and if I stay I will be subjected to my mother's outbursts and riducule! I don't want to stay because I feel that my home life will intefere with me being in college! She will still constantly nag me and make me do all the chores in the house! What do I do? This has been on my mind for a long time...the other schools that I applied for are upstate and I really thought long and hard and if I want to be successful I feel that if I go up there I will not get the type of education that I can receieve if I go up there (although it would be better because of the "Freedom"). Help Me!!!
2007-01-29 09:44:23 · 14 answers · asked by Courtney R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You get out of your education what you put into it, and there are many, MANY schools out there that will provide you with quality staff and facilities. Venture out, spread your wings, and leave the nest. You'll be happier for it if you do.
2007-01-29 09:59:50 · answer #1 · answered by McB 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would definitely give a thought to the colleges in upstate, there is nothing wrong with it, if you are unsure than apply to other colleges, but do try to leave the nest, it's the only way you'll know, what it is like to be on your own, without someone over your shoulder, you will be okay....and if you feel that being home is better, after you tried the solo bit, I am sure your mom will accept you with open arms....so follow that heart of yours, and you should be fine.Good Luck.
2007-01-29 10:12:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol. i had this conflict when i applyed for school..
i wanted to go to a far place to live on my own and feel free and idependant and try to depend on myself more,without any interferance frm anyone.. but i finally chose a place that is 20 min. far from home!!
u mentioned the type of education and that is a a more important thing to think about than being away..
if we thought about future here, i think u shold stay and stand her 4 more years then leave when u get a great job where u want.. ( better education= better job. )..n then u might be able to afford to live on ur own.
still u can talk to ur mom about how u feel..and my advice, just try to show her how much mature u r,by doing things that will make u mature (in her point of view)!!..
2007-02-06 06:53:42 · answer #3 · answered by r_m10_r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the college that can give you the best education.
Move out!!!
Even if you do choose to stay in a college in your area, this does not mean that you have to stay at home with your mother.
She has to let you go sometime.
Cut the apron strings.... Find some friends that want to move out, and share a house. Or find somewhere cheap that you can afford by yourself. Get a part time job...
Can you live on campus if you go to a college in your area?
I don't know how it works in America... I am in Australia,
How she treats you is obviously affecting you in an adverse manner, so your best option is to get out.
2007-02-02 16:58:57 · answer #4 · answered by originalpuppycat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the most important decision is the one that you which will make will eventually affect your relationship with your mother either positively or negatively. Doing chores is not so bad and think of the amount of money you'll save. you can still live at home, find extracurricular activities at school so you can stay out late, join a club, or whatever.
2007-02-06 05:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by melecia h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dilemma is one that many young people face when they enter "the next rite of passage" into adulthood.
Having faced it myself, I can tell you that in my case, my parents were open to offering more freedoms by my staying at home and reducing the costs of school (housing, tuition, meals, etc.). They were willing to extend my curfews, allow "all-nighters" (all-night study sessions away from home) as long as I called them to let them know where I was, and even worked with me regarding the social aspect of college life as long as I wasn't drinking & driving.
If getting the best education is your focus, then sitting down with your Mom and talking out the pros/cons are in your best interest. You may be surprised about her willingness to offer your some "freedoms". Now would be a good time to "negotiate" the chores. Explain that focusing on school will be your priority (as you know she'd want) and that while you don't mind "helping out", you'd like to have a clear list of chores so you can work them into your schedule. Tell her you want to be successful in school (& in life), so you need her to work with you.
Sometimes the "freedom" that going away to school offers can do the exact opposite. It can, in fact, steer a person in the wrong direction.
Have a "heart-to-heart" with your Mom and use a loving tone. Tell her you want her to be proud of you, but there are some things on your mind. You need her to help you work through one of the biggest decisions in your life. Let her know that you need to be honest with her without her getting mad at you. Remind her that attending college is a step into adulthood and that you believe you need to be treated as such.
Best wishes to you!
2007-02-06 07:03:45 · answer #6 · answered by DOOL64 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a mother of 3 children who went away to college. GO AWAY!!! Your mom will have to accept that your an adult and capable of taking care of yourself. But on the other side..................You may think mom is the enemy but until you are totally dependent on you you will have no idea what mom( or dad) does for you. I also think you need to look around for more colleges. It almost sounds like your making excuses to stay home and complain about it. By the way I miss my kids terribly and talk to them often( your mom will too i promise!)
2007-02-05 06:20:38 · answer #7 · answered by motherof6 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Freedom? freedom outside the home is not all it is cracked up to be.... Why is your mom so hard on you? is it that she loves you - or is she just a control freak and she had you because she like puppets?
Take your mom out to lunch once - sit and share sometime with her - find out what she liked when she was your age... did she go to college - did she get married to young? does she like pizza - does she get on your case because she worries over you.
I lived at home until I was 27 - I made my parents my best friends - my home became a haven for my friends - my parents and I learned to trust each other and that things we did was because we loved each other and when I met my husband - and I was walking up the aile with my dad - he whispered in my ear - "if you would like to turn around right now and not get married today you are still welcome at HOME and I can tell all these people you changed your mind...." how sweet of him... my dad died a year later - take time to really get to know your mom
there will be no one that loves you like she loves you..
stay home and go to the good college - and get to know to love your mom and let her remember she loves you!
2007-02-04 16:29:38 · answer #8 · answered by Vicki 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Freedom?
Moving out will not grant you freedom from chores. You will instantly be responsible for upkeep on your own space. If you feel that you can't be successful at school at home, then by all means get out of the situation, but don't believe for a second that you will get out of "chores."
2007-02-05 17:51:51 · answer #9 · answered by Yote 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You basically have to decide what's more important to you right now, education or freedom? Just know that no matter how old you are, if you live with your Mother you are subject to her rules and it's only fair that if you live with your Mother that you help out with chores and expenses.
2007-01-29 10:09:37 · answer #10 · answered by Coop's Wife 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust me, one day you will miss that nagging Mother you talked about. Go for the place where you can get the best education and save enough money to move out and get a place of your own.
2007-01-29 11:59:34 · answer #11 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋