I am afraid that this is the begining of problems. He lies to me, his step-father and his teacher. HELP!!!
2007-01-29 09:23:09 · 11 answers · asked by kmoc123 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I am currently going through this with one of my students. Do I teach your kid? :) I had another student at the beginning of the year who lied out of habit. I asked for help on Answers and found a simple strategy that really helped. When I would ask the student a question, I prefaced it with, "I want you to think carefully about how you want to answer this." It worked (works) extremely well. It's not the only thing that's worked. It's definitely been a combination of things that have helped this student, but the wording really helped the student to just slow down and weigh the pros and cons of lying in that given situation. The student quickly began to realize that it was a lot easier to just fess up and tell the truth. I also praised the student anytime the truth was told and a lie could have easily been used. I felt it was important to for the student to know that I appreciated the honesty. I'm putting your question on my watch list to see if anyone else has some good suggestions for the student I have who is lying now. Best wishes!
2007-01-29 10:39:38 · answer #1 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There is lying that kids do for a "good" reason, and there is "whopper-telling" that some kids with a problem do for no reason at all.
If he's just doing "basic" lying that all kids do when they don't want to get in trouble or try to think up the thing that parents/teachers will think is the "right" thing to say I wouldn't worry about him. He'll outgrow it.
If he's a kid who is known among his friends and neighborhood kids as a whopper-teller that could be a sign that he has emotional issues that should be addressed by a counselor.
Sometimes it is because a child wants to stay out of trouble or even just doesn't want to disappoint parents or teachers or else is just too insecure to say what he's really thinking that he'll lie to adults. Sometimes a child who has no respect for the adult in question will just speak what's on his mind and not care what that person thinks, while sometimes its the child who respects the adult in question and who doesn't want him/her to think less of him/her who will lie.
Nobody wants to be lied to, and nobody wants to know their child tells lies, but I don't necessarily think it has to mean its the beginning of a problem unless he's lying above and beyond what many kids do - and most people will tell you they've told some whopper to adults in their day.
I don't have any statistics or even scientific back-up on what I think I've observed in children, but I think nine and ten are the ages when lying reaches its height. I think it could have something to do with being old enough to assess possible consequences and/or to want approval or not to disappoint but not being sure enough to just tell the truth.
Normal children who lie will feel secretly horrible about all the lies they tell, and that could make them decide to never, ever, lie once they are old enough to be sure that they can just be truthful without having a beloved adult think less of them.
2007-01-29 11:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son may think that telling a lie will be easier if he does not get caught lying. You need to sit him down and remind him of the truth being the best resolution. Consider threatening of grounding or a punishment that you know he enjoys if you he does not tell the truth within a set time period. Send him to his room to think about it and then call him out to let him tell you the truth rather then forcing it. I have two boys myself around his age that I experienced this with. I tried this and it seems to work. Good Luck!
2007-01-29 14:19:01 · answer #3 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that the truth will not get him in trouble. You may want to punish him for doing something wrong but if he tells you the truth about it you need to give him praise for being brave enough to do so. You'll just have to talk to him constantly about this issue and keep reinforcing how honorable being truthful is.
2007-01-29 09:35:20 · answer #4 · answered by truly_insightful 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call him on it. Every time. Let him know that because you can't trust EVERYTHING he says, you can't trust ANYTHING he says... and don't believe him once or twice when he's really telling you the truth. He needs to really GET that honesty is important. the only way he'll get that is if it hurts...
2007-01-29 13:46:26 · answer #5 · answered by Amy S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not know that you can stop him- but if you actually catch him doing it- punish him very sternly- and it helps to mention that liars do not get into the Kingdom of God(heaven) but the choice will always be his---
2007-01-29 11:22:12 · answer #6 · answered by drox 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Confront him often - let him know liars get caught and loose trust and prividledges.
he is still a child, and needs some tough love to become a good adult
2007-01-29 09:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by G's Random Thoughts 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Each time he tells you something like "Guess what! Johnny got a new bike!" reply with "I don't believe you." Any time he says something like that tell him you don't believe him. When he asks "Why don't you believe me?" tell him it's because he's lied before and now you can't trust him until he quits lying.
2007-01-29 09:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
you need to talk to him about lieing and what can happen ifhe keeps it up....telhim about the lil boy who cryedwolf an thaydid not blive hi
2007-01-29 09:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by mcarter9594 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ivory soap. Doesn't hurt him but it sure tastes bad. He HAS to learn not to lie.
2007-01-29 09:41:48 · answer #10 · answered by Dizney 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋