I have a quick question for adults. Now that i am getting older i am starting to realize something that my parents do and it is really starting to bother me. At first it was okay but now i hate talking to them about what is going on in my life, because this is the typical reply i will get from them.
whenever i make an accomplishment they always refer to it as "little". example.
When i bought my first car. They said Awwww he got is little car.
Then i got an apartment on my own. When they came to visit they said. Look at his little apartment.
When i got a very important job they commented "oh he got himself a little job now".
WHY is every goal i set for myself and accomplish "Little" in my parents eyes?
2007-01-29 08:59:57 · 27 answers · asked by Crossed M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yeah maybe i sould have added. Im 25 years old. Ive been to college, ive been in the military, and ive lived on my own since i was 18 years old. So i still cant understand why they refer to things i do as little. P.S. My father actually says it more than my mother.
2007-01-29 09:11:25 · update #1
They probably still think of you as their son. You know when you see a toddler and she is carrying around a tiny purse. Usually everyone says awww look at her little purse. Ect. ect....So they still think of you as their little boy and probably havent gotten to the fact that your a big boy now. It may take a little while for them to stop saying it. I wouldnt get to upset about it. They probably dont realize it. Good luck. And if you really think they are doing it on purpose try approaching them calmly about it and tell them that your not a little kid anymore and you would like more respect. They may not even realize that they are doing this to you, or they may come to terms finally that you arent their little boy anymore. Anyways, if you have trouble dealing with this or confronting your parents talk to a counselor, a school counselor, a friend anyone you can trust. Good luck and sounds like you are leading a great life, so dont let your parents or anyone take that away from you. As long as you know you are doing great, then you are so dont worry about what others say about you, even your parents. Good luck and have a good one.
2007-01-29 11:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by Jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that it's not a matter of belittling your accomplishments, more of a matter of you still being their "little" boy. Let me guess, you're either an only child or a youngest child, right? Although, it isn't them putting you down, they ARE having issues with accepting you as an adult, not so much because they don't think you are good enough to be one but because they don't want you to grow up. Don't worry, guy, they love you. Just tell them to cut out all the "littles". They probably don't even realize they're doing it. My youngest daughter just told me that i'm not allowed to call her "baby" anymore. It hurt a little, but just because it's hard to let go of your children still being kids. The second she said that, i stopped doing it and everything's fine now. Good luck!
2007-01-29 17:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by answergrrl3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are on a power trip. They got power over you.
Those things you do are real life accomplishments, real life adult milestones.
They are belittling you and treating you like crap, to keep you in your place. Don't stand for it.
If you are strong, Next time something like that happens, if it has been getting you angry, say, "Yo, dad, you been treating me likje a kid forever. Shut your mouth or we're gonna get into 'A little fight.' I ain't little no more. Deal with it." He might try to take you out, so be ready.
If you are not so strong, or don't want to risk a fight, just directly say, I'm sick of hearing about "little." If they start arguing, ask them, Look do you want to argue about this? Tell THEM to grow up. Take charge.
They are used to telling you what to do. What needs to happen is to shift things around so that you are telling them, or it is at least equal.
It's a power game, and they are playing you.
Good luck.
2007-01-29 17:11:48 · answer #3 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the info you gave, I'm not sure if it's a put-down or a habit, just as some people say "ya know, like" all the time. Have you tried talking to your parents about it? Or even joking, say "actually, the apartment is quite large at whatever square feet". Or give them a taste of their own medicine and use the adjective back to them. If they don't notice, then you know it's just an annoying "little" habit of theirs.
2007-01-29 17:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a matter of words...it can be a word game that they dont even realize...it can be that your parents just like to use the word "little".
It might not have anything to do with how you feel that they belittle you.
Sometiems words in one language can mean different things in another one. my experience.
Spanish is my first language, and when I say things in ENglish translated from Spanish that have absolutely no negative connotation in Spanish soometimes they tell me that in English it sounds negative. When the intention was not to be negative but just talking.
TALK WITH YOUR PARENTS, tell them what you feel.
And realize that most likely you are perceiving things from a standpoint of someone who may have gotten hurt in the past and now resent the word "little". Ask them why they use the word little if it makes you feel belittled. And remember that words are a game too and not always do they mean to hurt you.
What matters is , how do you feel with yourself? about your job? its you that matters.
2007-01-29 17:13:35 · answer #5 · answered by noteparece? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's on them NOT you, They have NOT grown out of YOUR baby stage. Tell them to grow up, or you will start referring to " Hey I'd like for you to meet my "Little Parents". You have done a great job in staying with your goals. They are probably jealous, because their goals have never been met. Keep up the Great work, and PAT yourself on the back. Job well DONE.
2007-01-29 17:07:19 · answer #6 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's meant to be a put down so much as sarcasm. It's their way of acknowledging what you accomplished, but not overdoing their excitement, or praise you too much. Maybe it's to keep you from being prideful, or maybe it's to make them selves feel better about their lives. If it bothers you so much, ask them why they feel the need to belittle you. Congrats on your accomplishments!
2007-01-29 17:09:14 · answer #7 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that they are putting you down by any means. It sounds like they are proud of you more then anything. If you are really concerned about how they feel why don't you try to ask them - maybe take them to dinner or have them over to your apartment and make them a nice dinner and discuss your feelings. I am sure that I am right about this -I guarantee you they are more proud of you then you realize.
2007-01-29 17:07:14 · answer #8 · answered by homerdacat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they're intentionally disparaging you, but it seems like they still see you as thier baby and that in their minds, you are not a man in your own right yet. Are you under 25? Nobody takes you seriously until 25 anyway. Real respect doesn't come until sometime after 30.
2007-01-29 17:05:44 · answer #9 · answered by lizardmama 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wonder if they're using "little" as another way of saying 'first'... using it as a form of endearment... i can understand how you feel... it doesn't sound so good to me either... I know your parents love you and are proud of you.. it must be their way of expressing it... have you told them how you feel when they say that? I also have to say that you will not always get approval from outside sources when you meet your goals... learn how to celebrate those goals for yourself..
good luck and I'm proud of you for accomplishing your goals! Keep moving on.
2007-01-29 17:09:49 · answer #10 · answered by trehugr4life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋