hey well basically i have loved this man for quite a while,we met one night and stayed in touch.i seen him again last month and i think i was a bit too forward with him but i couldn't help it.i told him as he was in my arms that i loved him.now since then i haven't heard from him.i think i may have scared him off,he is a busy man with the job that he does however i thought he would have been in touch.
shall i email him and explain that maybe i was a bit forward and if he doesnt like me that way then i would be happy just being his friend? He really is a lovely man.help.
2007-01-29 08:43:22 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay, I'm going to tell you exactly how to do this. Do not contact him AT ALL! Don't even ask your friends about him! Let him think about you. He may have pulled back because of what you said but it's mostly because now he's worried because you're going to have all these expectations and to a guy, when you say the L word they basically feel like you're trying to trap them. If you act like he doesn't exist, he's going to be wondering about YOU. He's going to be like "okay, this girl said she loves me and now she never contacts me at all, wtf?" He's going to be curious about you and wondering if he really does have you like that. Trust me, it's worked for me! I made a boo boo of my own recently and i got the same advice and used it. I didn't call him or contact him at all. It took him a couple of weeks but he called me. When he did, I acted like nothing happened and now he calls every day. He's still curious. Trust me girl, this is the way to go. Always leave them guessing!
2007-01-29 08:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by answergrrl3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most guys tend to get a little skittish when a woman drops the "love" bomb on them from out of nowhere. Even if he is interseted in you, having a woman just blurt out of a non-dating situation that she loves you will make a man look for the hills.
You can try to email him, but you have probably scared him off. Even if you try to play it off as meaning "as a friend", you have made an impression on him that you are looking to rope him in. You've let the cat out of the bag, and he well knows that just being friends with you is giving you hope for more. If he doesn't want more, then he is just stringing you along.
There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings with someone, but in this situation, it wasn't reasonable based on your current dating situation.
I'd prepare yourself to not talk to him again, or have to start over and be VERY cautious with your friendship. In other words, it's most likely a lost cause.
Sorry!
2007-01-29 08:49:34 · answer #2 · answered by Garylian 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I would email him. I wouldn't sound like you are mad or discouraged about anything. Do mention that you were a bit forwarded and after thinking about it you didn't give yourself time. Tell him you will still would like to be friends and you hope you didn't come across as offensive when you said that. This will allow you to see what page he is on with you. Just take it slow and let him respond. If he doesn't hopefully you will see him again to explain face to face. I wouldn't forcefully see him though.
Hope I was some help.
2007-01-29 08:50:34 · answer #3 · answered by halleyk1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you've scared him off. Being a busy man just gives him a better excuse for giving you a wide berth. Try emailing him to explain why you said it. Don't phone as it means has HAS to talk about it, and he might not be ready to. Being friends after something like that rarely works as the relationship has changed.
On a less serious note, turn up at his house naked, with beer.
2007-01-29 08:51:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of my guy friends are very afraid of the L word. Emailing him sounds like a good idea, but make sure you don't say that you didn't mean it. Just say that you didn't mean to be so forward and that you really enjoy spending time with him.
2007-01-29 08:47:35 · answer #5 · answered by Penya 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already put your heart on your sleeve. If he wasn't feeling the same, he could've manned up & told you that. But you shouldn't eat your words~ assuming you meant them~ nor should you be responsible for maintaining both sides of communication. I don't think people understand, how hard it is, to make your feelings known, only to be given the cold shoulder. Why would you settle for friendship, when you know, in your heart, you want more than that. You deserve love, whether its his or not!!!
2007-01-29 09:01:02 · answer #6 · answered by chevy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were u chick i would email him and tell him you need answers i mean u cant go on like this and it would be nice for u to talk to him.
Maybe hes scared and needs time but just let him no that u wont wait forever he will the hopefully reply.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-29 08:52:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you have the right idea, if you don't back from him in a couple of weeks after trying that. I'd say give him a call and tell him you just wanted to chat give you a call when he has a minute. If you don't hear back from him after that, I say move on there is a reason he's not responding to you.
2007-01-29 08:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well u i say u email or call him up and see what hes been upto. and just tell him that thats exactly the way u feel bout him, but that ur sorry for being to blunt and that if he doesnt feel the same way bout u, u understand, cuz remember u cant make anybody love u. just ask him if its still cool to be frendz and hang out, and just be there for him and if he likes u the same way, eventually hes gonna come out and tell u he loves u too.
2007-01-29 08:47:46 · answer #9 · answered by oc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just email him as a friend say nothing about being a bit forward.From now just take it easy keep communicating with him he will soon warm up to you.
2007-01-29 08:49:07 · answer #10 · answered by TheMan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋