I just recently found out that my boyfriend has lung cancer. We don't know what stage it's in because he doesn't have health insurance. He's asked me a million times to marry him, prior to his new health condition. I've wanted to wait - but now that I can give him excellent health benefits - he doesn't want to get married! Is this pride or just stupidity on his part? People have asked if I want to marry him to thinking that I could save him and I actually can't answer that question. I love him with all my heart - why doesn't he want to spend the rest of his life with me know - especially that I can help him. I'm so confused.
2007-01-29 08:11:57 · 21 answers · asked by kimberly9801 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
You know after reading these lines that you have wrote. It's very saddening. I think he's probably feeling like this because he would feel as if he's just marrying you for the benifits. maybe he's feeling he won't live long. If he is he shouldn't have that kiind of look out on things. People who have illnesses should believe they don't have them and laugh , laugh and laugh.
2007-01-29 08:19:06 · answer #1 · answered by girliegirl2483 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just put yourself in his pants, he probably is more confused than you. I would be like crazy... and of course since he loves you he doesn't want to be a charge.
You can still add him on your benefits, just do it for a while, you'll see on him a change, don't get married yet. He needs to show you that he cares about his health first, give him the chance and see what happens
2007-01-29 08:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by ROV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and ask why. It could be pride...but if you hang in, he will see what a gem that you are. On the other hand, if he has cancer now, most insurance companies will not insure him because of his preexisting condition.
He may realize that it is the end for him and wants to spare you the trauma of watching him die. It will not be pleasant.
I wish that I had some magic for you. Good luck
2007-01-29 08:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by kellenraid 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want you to marry him out of pity. Try explaining the health insurance thing. Just remember lung cancer (esp in the very early stages) is not neccessarily a death sentence.
2007-01-29 08:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by MimC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not want you to think that he is just marrying you for the health benefits or maybe he does not want to hurt you when/ if he passes away. Just try and work through this. I hope your boyfriend is ok and I hope that you two can work this out.
2007-01-29 08:16:25 · answer #5 · answered by help:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's scared that he won't be here long and he doesn't want to put you through the pain of his death. I'm surprised he hasn't tried to beak up with you as well. Its just one of the stages that people go through when they have a terminal illness. Just be there for him and continue talking to him. Hopefully he'll see how much you love him and take you up on your offer, especially since he would be able to get better treatment with your insurance.
2007-01-29 08:16:38 · answer #6 · answered by truly_insightful 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can still give him an insurance (I'm assuming you are talking about medical insurance through work). If you live together you are considered to be an domestic partner. But they may have a stipulations about a pre-existing conditions.
2007-01-29 08:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by Pluto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him because you love him.
If you have to ask complete strangers, you must not.
He is probably scared right now. Pray about this
and think with a clear mind.
2007-01-29 10:02:42 · answer #8 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the policy, your ins. company may not cover him because his cancer is a preexisting condition. And if you marry him and he dies, you will be responsible for thousands of dollars in medical and funeral expenses. He is trying to spare you this.
2007-01-29 10:01:21 · answer #9 · answered by sandiemaye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fi u really love him then marry him put dont marry him cause u think that u can save him. if he has no insurance maybe u could marry to help him and then after mabe u'll find that really love him and cant live without him and find out that marrying him was wat u were going to anyway in the long run
2007-01-29 09:16:05 · answer #10 · answered by missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋