My daughter is 22mo.old. She is starting her rebellion phase of the terrible two's.What do I do?

Question

Over all, she is a good girl. However, she just recently realized that she knew how to give a dirty look. Following the dirty look, is a hit or slap where ever she can reach. She'll do this to anyone, but mostly does it to me. She hits me, pinches me, & pulls my hair. It really does hurt, not to mention embarrass me. I feel that spanking her only shows her that what she is doing his o.k., but other forms of discipline do not work. I've used time-out, I've tried pretend crying to show her that hitting/being mean hurts & then shown her an example of being nice, like hugging or kissing, I've tried raising my voice, & all she does is laugh at me & then does it again. My friends say that I really need to show her who the boss is & spank her hard, but I just don't want to. Isn't there anything else I can do?

Answer 1

I don't want you to think spanking is the ONLY option, however, sometimes an appropriately timed spanking is all it takes to remind her that you are in charge and her behavior is not acceptable. I am pro-spanking when it is used calmly and deliberately...never out of anger or frustration. Your daughter is challenging you, especially when she laughs at you. If you've tried everything else, it means that she doesn't take you seriously. Honestly, you might be surprised that only ONE spanking is all it takes. My son was the same way and I finally decided to spank him on one particular occasion. Since then, I have only had to spank him one other time(he's 20 months). He got the message and we went right back to life as usual-time outs and warnings.

If you really don't want to spank, then try to perfect your "look." The one that conveys that you are serious and no-nonsense. Continue to use the time-outs, be consistent and don't let up.

Answer 2

I have mixed feelings about spanking but I pretty much feel like no matter how much you spank your kids, kids will still be kids. When we were younger and used to do all kinds of bad stuff and our parents would spank us, we'd still turn right back around and do it again! Even when they wouldn't spank us. They'd give us time outs, ground us, yell at us, we'd still act a fool.

The "Terrible Twos" is a very common phase children go through so I'm sure she'll eventually grow out of it. The most you can do is be patient with her and continue to reinforce the fact that it's not okay to behave that way. You sound like you're doing the right things to me. You're disciplinary tactics are not a negative reflection on you or your lack of ability to gain control over your child. She's going through a phase and there's not much you can do. And don't let anyone tell you what's good for your child and what's not as far as spanking goes. Different methods work for different people.

Answer 3

When my daughter does the dirty looks, I immediately tell her she needs to change her attitude, and I tell her when her behavior is unacceptable. My daughter has tested the same things with me, but it didn't last. I got down to her level, made her look at me in the eyes and told her that is not acceptable behavior. I explain why and make sure she understand with a confirmation of "yes ma'am". If she is hitting uncontrollably, take her hands and hold them down for as long as you can stand and tell her all the reasons she is not supposed to hit. Being held down against her will is bound to make her remember, if I hit I will not be allowed to do what I want. you don't have to hurt her just enough so that she can't bring her arms up to hit you again or anyone. I also make my child apologize when she does something that is not appropriate. Sounds like you are really trying, the MOST important thing is consistency, pick your punishment and stick to it every time. Hope it gets better!

Answer 4

Welcome to my WORLD!! This started for me about a month ago with my daughter!! I will say that I am a believer in spanking, but I use it as a tool for when I REALLY need to get her attention (case in point, I was carrying groceries in to the house, and I asked her to walk to the front door and she went running out in to the road, talk about panic, dropped the groceries, and that was something I spanked her for..) When she's acted up EXACTLY how you are describing though, I send her to her room. I dont want to be a mother that spanks all day, but at the same time I dont want to not have kids that crontrol ME. The message that Im trying to show her is that the behavior isnt socially acceptable. If she's going to give dirty looks, and hit, or scream, or.. whatever, she can do it alone in her room. After a few minutes of crying, she'll come out and say "Hi Mommy!" in a pretty happy tone, and I'll hug her and we're over the hissey fit. Being happy, and greeting her when she comes out of her room happy (i believe) is going to show her that if she treats people nicely, they will enjoy her company, but is she's gonna act nasty.. she's going to be acting that way alone. Plus, she gets no attention from the bad behavior, all she hears is "If you're choosing to act like that, go to your room". It works for me.. but all kids are different. Worth a shot though ;) I hope it works for you if you give it a try..

Answer 5

She gives a face or hits and you react.....differently every time. To her that is pretty cool - let's see how many reactions I can get out of mom! Basically, when she acts in a manner you do not like, look at her, say something like, "we don't hit", end of discussion/reaction. Then ignore (ie, no eye contact, no discussion). For the first few times it may seriously wind her up. But, hold your ground, she is testing the waters. Wait until she calms down then really praise her for the good behavior - lots of interaction/eye contact.

At this age kids are learning about their environment, that they are independent from their parents, and that they have an effect on the things and people around them. It is all about attention and reactions - nothing as complex as power struggles and "who's boss". They already believe they are the center of the world! :-))

Answer 6

Shower her with praise when she does something nice, such as giving a hug, even if she wasn't the initiator. You shouldn't do that every time, but maybe the first few times and then gradually ease off on the praise when she is getting the hint. You must also remain firm in your stance that it is not ok to hurt someone. Just make sure that you put most of your effort into showing her the right way to do things!

Answer 7

Lock her in her room until she's ready to apoligize.

Take away whatever her favourite things are until she's upset and she realizes how absoloutly miserable you can make her life out to be.

And stick with it. They eventually get it.

I spank mine and there's nothing wrong with it. I usually save spanking for the times when they are being really really bad. (like running away from me in a store or something)

I now also give my 3 & 1/2 yo the choice of spanking or time out. He usually picks time out, but then I don't have to fight to get him into the corner.

Answer 8

You don't have to spank her but I would give her a little smack on her hand and tell her no. You can't laugh or she'll think its a joke. You are the one in charge not her.

Answer 9

u do need to show her who the boss is or ur gonna be one of those familys on the tv who need that nanny to help her control her home.later she will walk all over u if u keep on letting her get away with what ur letting her get away with...

Answer 10

let me see, your friends think you should hit her to show hitting is wrong???????? get to her level look in her eyes and say no do not yell but be firm, be consistent, she'll get it