i am 18 and about to get married, My parents said that if i stay at home for a few more months, they will give us $2500 to help with the wedding. I would be all for that, if i thought they actually would, but my parents LOVE to bribe me with stuff then tell me "oh, well i forgot to tell you, you had to do this too" and then i ended up doing exactly what they wanted without getting anything they promised. Also, they said i don't have their blessing on my marriage unless i do what they say (again, holding things above my head). I really want their blessing, but i also feel like i am old enough to make my own decisions and take care of myself. Also, IF they did give me any money, they would want me to get married right then (they said this summer) but i want to wait a little while to get married. We are still taking pre-marital counseling and i want to make sure i do everything i can to help our marriage BEFORE i get married, but i feel like they are going to pressure me into it.
2007-01-29 07:42:46 · 6 answers · asked by Andii 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i want my parents blessing, and the money would help out, and i know i AM going to marry this guy, but i want to make sure the timing is right, but i don't believe my parents are actually going to help out, and my fiance has an apartment with most of my stuff already in it, and i think it would be healthy for us to live together before we get married. Should i move out with him, and take care of the wedding when we want, by ourselves, or should i stay at home and do everything my parents say and hope they give me the money?
2007-01-29 07:45:56 · update #1
My opinion is move in with your boyfriend. Your parents are trying to bribe you which is NOT healthy. If this bribing and controlling thing with your parents is a pattern then you already know the out come. You already know that they wont come through on what they promise and you know they will take over your wedding. So why stay? My boyfriends parents try to do the same thing and he just walked away. They can only control you if you give them the power too. So take that power away. Tell them it's your life, not theirs and they are no longer going to control you. Tell them you love them but you want to live your own life and your entitled to do so. Then move in with your boyfriend. I agree that a couple should live together before marriage. It would be terrible if you waited until after marriage to move in and find out that you cannot stand living together. Move in now and make sure you two are compatible sharing the same space everyday. It changes your relationship but if its a healthy one its not a bad change. I live with my boyfriend and were doing great! I'm also 18 so I can see where your coming from.
Good Luck! I hope your parents come around. Don't let them hold money over your head. It's not worth it. Make your own wedding and life. They had their wedding, now its your turn. Remember that!
Brit
2007-01-29 07:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by Positively Pink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely move out.
Your parents are not being fair doing this to you and if they do not approve then its a pretty fair bet they wont give you any money, it sounds like they are playing games with you. You should take your time and have your wedding your way, when you are ready, i think if you stay at home you wont end up doing this.
I found living with my boyfriend really helped to get to know him. There is alot of things about him that i didnt know until we lived together. It is also a good way of seeing what being married to the person would be like. It is great that you are taking pre-marital counseling and want to make sure you do everything you can for your marriage, i think moving in together would help with this and help sort out any problems before you get married.
You say you dont want to get married straight away anyway so dont worry about the money, you will make it, in the mean time move out, get some Independence.
It sounds like you know what you want, just go for it, dont worry about what other people think.
2007-01-29 16:59:26 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stay at home and get married in the summer. hes hould be there still the guy you are to marry. move in when you are married that way whether they give you nothing or not the point is you did all you could and then you are at their level they can't say nothing else to you. but wait its only few mos and it won't hurt nothing. it can give you al ltime and that is fine. you will be together a life time
2007-02-02 00:37:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are an adult you do not NEED your parent permission to do anything. Why are you still living there? f you want to be your own person,move out and be on your own.
Prove to yourself that
you can take care of yourself before you get married.
2007-01-29 16:16:00 · answer #4 · answered by grandmother of 5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move out
you KNOW that your parents wont give you the money, so why wait? consider tho that once you commit yourself to marriage, that there will be no family to back you up
2007-01-29 15:50:30 · answer #5 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to get married so young?? You should be going to college, not settling down so young.
2007-01-29 15:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by Angela C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋