Non-Believers, What Could I Have Said?

Question

My neighbour's dryer broke down so she came to borrow my laundry room key. I lent it to her, then asked if she'd like to use my dryer. She snapped, "NO. That's ok, the key is fine." and walked away. When she came to return the key, I said, "Did I upset you?." She said she noticed that at Christmas we didn't put up decorations and my sons were away. She thought we might be Jehovah's Witnesses ("which would have been okay" she said) and when the boys came back she asked the them about it. One of them told her I'm an atheist, and they went to spend the holidays with their dad & stepmom and the new baby. She said, "It must be hard not spending Christmas with your mom". He said, "I'm an atheist too, I only went to meet my new sister", the other said "I'm Christian, I went for Christmas." She said she'd rather not socialize if that's the way we are. I just nodded and shut the door, I couldn't think what to say. I feel like I should have said something. What would you have said?

I'm the real Godless (check stats & profile). She did give the key back, she lives right next door to me. I think it's our fault, because I told the kids not to talk about things like that with people.

I didn't tell them not to talk about it out of shame, I told them that it is nobody's business. The whole neighborhood is Christian and JW - the Kingdom Hall is right down the road, not even a block away. I have neighbours that come by to borrow milk or whatever and giving me "The Watchtower" or other church literature before they go, and the complex has a manager who wants the whole place Christmas caroling, and the kids around here are told not to socialize with other kids who are not Christian. The first thing that happened when we moved in was I had the Alpha Female at my door, just to "chat" and let me know where the churches are. They can see that we are still here on Sundays. The kids around here stopped socializing with mine very shortly after we moved in, and I thought that it was because we aren't religious, but now I know that my I kept my mouth shut and my son tells people that two of us are atheists and to them that's worse. We have to move.

Answer 1

Just laughing in her face would have worked in light of her stunning rudeness...

Answer 2

I would have said, that if we are not good enough to socialize with as any other human being and not given the same respect that all deserve, then she had no right to even ask to borrow the laundry key in the first place. It is quite easy for a neighbor to act from a moral high ground and still act like a hypocrite.

Answer 3

There doesn't seem to be anything you could have said. (If you were mean-spirited, you could say you licked the key.) This neighbor is extremely intolerant. The Jehova's Witnesses crack confirms it. ("They ain't Christian, but leastways they believes in God.") No matter how sweet, kind, helpful or industrious you are, you are firmly staked on her "evil" peg. The only person she will even listen to would be another "Christian".

It's pretty ironic, really. Just try to avoid her, smile and pass by when you can't. And if she ever asks you for a favor again, well, do it if you can. No use giving up hope.

Answer 4

Hi, I know you wanted non Christians but I hope you do not mind me answering(if you do just tell me and I will remove my answer)

I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and too have had people of other beliefs be incredibly rude just because I do not believe as they do. People often judge others because of looks, beliefs etc. It is sad, but true. Many people have MAJOR misconceptions about the beliefs of others. I think what one of the others suggested might work. Suggesting that, politely, that i it is a problem maybe she should find someone who shares her beliefs to associate with.

My sisinlaw used to come over and borrow things, or services, and then get rude about our house not being arranged the same or us not doing things the same, or because we are Witnesses. We finally had to get to the point where we explained to her that, how she does things in her home is her business, the same applies for us.

Answer 5

There wasn't anything I would have said but what u did, close the door. If she is a christian she is not acting like one. We aren't supposed to judge people, whatever people do for me is their problem. On top of that you did a favor for her and even tried to helped her out more. She didn't have to say anything to u or asked the kids anything. Whatever u do in your life is your problem. Next time she can ask somebody else for help/

Answer 6

There's nothing to say. Not much would've made an influence on her thoughts, so there's no real point. It would've just been a shouting match like how it is here on Y!A

Kudos to you though. For being a much better person.

--No it's not your fault. I'm one to agree that religion isn't something that should be talked about, but religious differences is also something that should be accepted or at the very least let go. If someone doesn't agree with someone elses differences, then they should just let it go, move on with their life. To say something like "she'd rather not socialize if that's the way we are", there's no way that you're the one at fault. It's her thinking, it's just sad that she's not the only one.

Answer 7

I would have said "Ok no problem". Why do you think it's your fault that your neighbor is a narrow-minded idiot and why would you tell your kids not to talk about their religious/non-religious prefrences? I could be wrong but to me that might make them feel ashamed about their beliefs. I wouldn't worry too much about the neighbor. Just let it go unless she spouts off again, then you could say something like, "Oh that's so cute. You think that your opinion matters to me!"

Answer 8

I suppose you could ask her if Jesus preached she should be rude to people. But I am concerned by your telling your kids they should not talk about it. Theists make a point of proudly proclaiming what they believe and are not the least ashamed of it no matter how silly it is. You should not be embarrassed for being more clear headed than they.

Answer 9

I probably would have done what you did being in a state of shock if that happened to me. Then I would be thinking about all the things I could have said. That was just plain rude of your neighbor, she has no sense of being a hospitable person. I say good riddance.

Answer 10

Generally, there is probably not much you could say at that point in time. Remeber that she probably has a lot of false impressions about atheists. Give her some time. If she continues to be judgemental or rude, then avoid her nasty self. BUT... many people will start to wonder and I wouldn't be surprised if she will later initiate a coversation with you. That would be your chance to talk... if ever.

Edit: I would reconsider asking your children not to talk about "things like that".. it implies shame and you (and they) have nothing to be ashamed of..

Answer 11

oh boy this is a frustrating situation. I don't know what I would have said, probably nothing. Why waste the time or energy? Still its frustrating I know. She really needs to back off from the kids.