I love my girls both very dearly - but what is up with the constant fighting. They are 11 & 4 and all the bigger one does is argue and push away the little one. She says so many hurtful things & terrible comments to make the little one cry (mind you the Little one is no Angel). It hurts me to see this, any advice on how to handle it?
2007-01-29 07:10:52 · 9 answers · asked by Theresa J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think some of you are under the wrong impression - my 11 yr old is NOT hitting - she wouldn't do that. When I say pushing away I mean mentally - she's very mean with her words.
2007-01-29 07:38:24 · update #1
First, check to see if you may inadvertently be showing favoritism, however subtle it may be.
Second: At 11 years old you can have a talk with her and find out what is bugging her. She is much to old to be showing this level of jealousy, although SOME jealousy will always exist. Take just her out somewhere she enjoys and have this talk with her.
Third: If the behavior persists, then you may have to seek some professional help.
2007-01-29 07:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by morahastits 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your 11 year old is having issues with a little one being around. she resents the fact that there is new 'baby' and she doesn't get all the attention. plus she is a preteen, she is hormonal and probably does not mean or understand how hurtful she is being. sit her down and have a long talk, find out what is bothering her. spend the day together, just the 2 of you. let her know that you love them both equally because they are your children and you will never love one more than the other. she will slowly grow out of this stage. good luck
2007-01-29 15:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by deeshair 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
on one hand your 4yr old obviously follows her sister around because she wants to be like her. My mom always said that was the most sincere form of flattery. However, your 11 yr old may not want her sister around her because in your own words she is "no angel." My brother and I fought all the time, we're 41/2 years apart however now we're best friends.
2007-01-29 15:25:19 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, unless you can get Super Nanny out there, I'd really look into children counseling... never put an age on counseling... your 11 year old may have some issues you're unaware of and it taking it out on her younger sibling.. I'd do this before the pushing turns into hitting and the hitting turns into something worse...
2007-01-29 15:17:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
well i'd say talk to the 11yr old. if that dosen't work when she starts making the little one cry smack her butt!!! i'm not saying abuse her but it's not right what she's doing. in the meantime try getting the 4 yr old in a play group w/ kids her own age.
2007-01-29 15:18:07 · answer #5 · answered by kattz1111 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IT'S NOTHING I HATE MORE IS WHEN PEOPLE WITH CHILDREN RUNS THE HOUSE. NO, A FOUR YEAR OLD IS NO ANGEL, THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE AT THAT AGE. HOWEVER, NO ONE SHOULD AT AGE 11 SHOULD BE USING THE CHILD AS A PUNCHING BAG. YOU ARE ASKING FOR ADVICE BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH AN 11YEAR OLD GIRL. I REALLY DON'T BELEAVE IN HITTING. UNTIL SHE LEARNS TO TALK TO THE 4 YR. OLD AND LEARN TO STOP HITTING THE BABY AGAIN BABY, YOU NEED TO TAKE EVERYTHING FROM HER THAT MEANS ANYTHING TO HER. NO OUTING UNTIL SHE LEARNS TO TAKE CARE OF THE BABY. YOU NEED TO MY SURE SHE FIX HIS FOOD EVERYDAY. SHE NEEDS TO PREPARE HIS BATH WATER AND HELP HIM. THE ONLY REASON THE 11YR.OLD DON'T LIKE THE BABY IS BECAUSE, YOU AGAIN YOU DID NOT TEACH HER THAT THE FOUR YR. OLD WAS HER BABY WHEN YOU BROUGHT HIM HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL. THE 11 YR.OLD IS TREATING HIM THAT WAY BECAUSE SHE CAN AND YOU DO NOTHING LIKE FROM THE BEGINNING. STOP HER FROM HITTING HER SIBLING BEFORE SHE HURT HIM AND STOP HER FROM CALLING HIM NAMES. YOU NEED TO TELL HER SHE IS 11 NOT 4 SO ACT LIKE IT
2007-01-29 15:29:24 · answer #6 · answered by BLUE 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Usually the little ones like to follow the older ones around, copy what they do, etc. It usually means that she wants to be like her big sister. Tell her to appreciate the fact that her little sister likes her so much and to start treating her like a friend. Good luck
2007-01-29 15:15:11 · answer #7 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it may be because the 11yr old is trying to get your attention and she is feeling left out try to get them playing nicely together if it starts again slit them up so they can't get to each other and make the think of what they have done.
2007-01-29 15:16:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why not separate them as you are the parent and choose to have another child
Your older one should not have to be subjected to your bratty4 year olds antics
Why are you picking sides?
2007-01-29 15:16:20 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋