she is always thinking I am going to cheat on her. I can't even look in the direction of another woman without her thinking I want her. She even accused me of wanting to cheat on her with her bestfriend. Which she now knows is and was not true. What can i do or say to let her know I am niether of those cheating people from her past? Will I always be getting accused of wanting to cheat because of what her ex's did? How can I help her get over her insecurities?
2007-01-29 06:51:14 · 11 answers · asked by mvas800 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've had it happen to me before.. You just need to tell her that you are neither one and that she needs to learn to trust you if she wants it to work.. It hard for a woman to trust people when it has been broken more than once..
For me I always told myself that I would always trust that person until it was broken. You should always give a new person a chance especially in a relationship that you want to work..
Good luck and just be open and honest as much as you can..
2007-01-29 06:59:11 · answer #1 · answered by expensv_1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's clearly not ready to be in a relationship. She hasn't gotten over what happened to her in the past, so she needs to work on that on her own before she can be ready for something new. She probably will have a hard time trusting men now, but it's HER deal and not yours. She shouldn't be taking it out the sins of her ex's on you and it's not fair. She needs to realize she can trust you and stop being so insecure. If she can't do that, you should give her some time to heal by being single.
2007-01-29 06:59:45 · answer #2 · answered by atxtallchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't responsible for her past nor can you repair the damage that's been done. She will always feel insecure about being cheated on. Knowing that it will always be this way you should now take careful stock in how much investment you want to put into this relationship. One way you can see into a person's future is to look at thier past. I'd bail on this one simply because of what I know it will eventually lead to.
2007-01-29 06:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by crazy_no_unique_yes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, have her talk to a therapist. There's obviously some issues here with her past.
Second, YOU must assess your relationship with her. Is she ready for a relationship? It sounds like she isn't.
Thirdly, if you do believe the relationship is worth saving, you have to earn her trust.
Unless she gets some help and gets over this obsession, you will ALWAYS be accused of looking for greener pastures.
Personally, I like to LOOK at the ladies, but I have absolutely no desire to cheat. I'm not saying that because my wife may see this (Hi, Baby!) but rather because it is me. All guys like to look. Men are very visual. This does not mean we're going to chase after them.
2007-01-29 06:59:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's been badly hurt. She needs to be in therapy. She can only help herself by realizing where her insecurities are coming from and learning how to change her thinking. There is nothing you can do or say and It's not your fault. She has to make the changes in herself. Talk to her about getting help. If she doesn't want to get help then I think you should move on. Eventually you will resent her irrational jealousy and the relationship will fall apart. Good luck.
2007-01-29 07:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by sisterdynomite 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she cant get over it...she needs to forgive him move on with you..forgiving and forgetting are 2 different things.If she really wants it to work with you she has no choice but to stop cause ive alwayz said without trust in a relationship u have nothing at all!!!!!bro shes passing her past on to you which isnt fair to you at all sorry to say but more then likely yes u will be getting accused and so will her next boyfriend after you!!good luck..
2007-01-29 06:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by ry h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing to do is slowly earn her trust, by being steady & true at all times. It will take a while, because she was obviously very hurt.....give her no reason to suspect you, and eventually she will find her trust again!
2007-01-29 06:56:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should be single for a while and work on self-development. That's too bad for her. This kind of healing takes a while.
2007-01-29 06:55:35 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is going to have to let go and realize that you are not them. I would let her read what you wrote, and how people respond. She has got to realize not every guy will do that, good luck.
2007-01-29 06:55:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get over it, if she's not ready to trust you then she shouldn't have started a new relationship, it's not fair to you.
2007-01-29 06:55:01 · answer #10 · answered by melimel 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋