im 20 and i still cant have a decent conversation with my father!!!?

Question

he jst irritates me, if he asks me to go to the shop, i feel like screaming he has his own car plus he can also drive my car, why does he want to spoon feed him everything!!! i may also add im venting sorry!!! i just need to, any way i know its me, but i cant seem to have a civil conversation with him

Nneave i hear what ur sayin and also my mother died but on the down side my father is an alcholic!! so the old going to the bar together doesnt really work out as much as i would like!!!! but thanks any way!!!!

proff if ur reading this IM A GIRL lol sorry but had to say it lol sometimes i do admit i would love to be a boy(time of month lol) but i was born a girl and i still am lol

Answer 1

Join the club! I feel the same way -- well, about the stuff you wrote in your first line. He doesn't ask me to do things for him, but he drives me up the wall!
Just know that you aren't the only one out there. And if you are living on your own at 20, you can say no. Remember that.

Answer 2

Most young adults become irriatated with their parents as
the reach maturity. The reason is that you find out that your
parents are not as smart as you thought when you were a kid.
But don't hold that against them. They have had experiece in
the world, more that you, but they may not be in tuned to todays
youth. Yes it may be a time that you need to get out on your own.
You need to start to make plans for a future for yourself. But
don't forget that they are your parents, even though you don't\
agree with him, you are lucky to have him and him you. People
often argue over the most stupid things when everything is
nice and rosy. Maybe u should have a man to man discussion
explaining that relationships don't last forever, and that you two
should spend more time trying to be happy together instead of
arguing over just bullshit. He could try to see things a little more
from a young man's point of view and respect you as an adult
son and you the same for him. Sometimes parents have a view
that since they have raised you from a child that they can't take
us serious. This can even go on into your 30's and 40's unless
you have a heart to heart talk.

Answer 3

Hello,
You are so lucky, in the respect that you still have your Father, I lsot my Father in ROAD ACCIDENT WHEN I WAS 21, and my heart was instantly broken, because as a young man I relied a lot on my Father to teach me the ways to get on with my life Happily. and I hadn't finished learning from him, he well taught me what to do when I got married, to be not just in love with my wife, but how to stay that way, ( still Married to my wife after 42 years, ) so when my father was teaching me I listened, He like to have a drink, Rum, he was retired merchant navy man, with the Shell Oil Co for 33 years including all of the 2nd world war, an Officer and believe me A gentleman too.
You suspect your dad may be an alcoholic, and you let him drive your car, maybe he isn't much of an alcoholic if he won't drive while he is drunk, you really do need to be sober for the skill required to drive, Ok so don't talk to him for a while, and politely ignore him when he is at you to do things he is well able to do for himself, he may even quickly get the point, it's getting close to the hour when you must seriously consider if you really need to have the same address as this man, time to leave home honey, and find another route for your journey onwards to a happier life, you can always phone home and if he starts whinging in your telephone ear, just click it off after you tell him this is all the reasons you left home, your Dad's not silly and will soon begin to understand, neither are you! Then you may well be surprised how fast the relationship will improve, but what if it doesn't? Well, you will have already have got yourself a new address wouldn't you? and you just do your own shopping. avoid all his irritating you, and he will soon learn to feed himself, So it's chin up, best foot forward, and start making your life your very very own....... Good for you, Good luck, I hope this works for you You can still love your Dad from a distance, and he repairing his ways will bring you back closer to him......Tony M

Answer 4

You sound like a person with out a mom around. Dad may just need you to be there for him. Yes you should have your own life, but remember we parents sometime get to feeling as long as we're paying the bills you can do what we ask. One night sit down with your dad and ask him what is it he expects out of you. If it's within reason than comply, and try to become friends as well as father, and daughter. Some times we parents just get raped up and forget that our kids are learning, and growing , and space to do so.

Answer 5

I'm quite a bit older than that and my Father still infuriates me. He still thinks I'm 12, and even though I'm married with my own family he still expects me to run around like an eejit for him.

I don't drive and he has expected me to take two buses with two small children to the other side of the next county to sort out some jobs for him. he does drive. I swear he thinks I'm his personal assistant.

But I also know he loves me. I know that he is lonely since my mum died. I know that he needs to know I still need his advice and help.

He's a pain, but so was my mum. Now she's gone.

If you can, move out and give each other some space. You will get on much better then. One thing that always helps us is going out for a quite drink together. It might not be your ideal evening, but you'll still enjoy it if you relax.

Answer 6

I feel for you ... I had the same problem with my dad. He always had to be spoon fed too! Things are a little better now and I'd say that they got better when I left the nest. I guess he irritates me less now because I don't have to deal with him everyday.

Answer 7

Honesty is the best policy. You have to be honest and let him know how you feel. Sometimes when we do things for people, especially when we do them often, people tend to unintentionally take advantage of that. That is when its time for you to step in and let them know that they are taking advantage of you and that you really don't want to continue doing those things for them any longer. It's okay to help someone but don't let them take advantage of you. Stand your ground and I also think you should spend less time around your father.

Answer 8

Take a deep breath and count to ten.

Tell him that the only way you two are able to reciprocate respect is if he shows himself as being a good fatherly role model.

Then and only then, will you return that respect.

Answer 9

I hope your not in the same mess when your 36 ( like me) because you can't get your own place because they will not give you a flat/house because your not a 19 year old slapper who's got pregnant just to jump the Q

Answer 10

simple just tell him how u feel sweetheart or it will carry on and it will never get resolved,and u will get even more frustrated and in the end there wont be a father daughter relationship, so just talk to him plz