I am a 24 yr old woman into a yr old relationship.V r committed n hope to get married.However recently he has plabnned to go for a professional course for 2 yrs.he plans telling his parents abt us before going.HOwever i have had a failed relationship before this when the guy ditched me.I am scared again. I really love this guy..shud i wait for him to come back..wil he break my trust... the main problem is that my parents want me to get married soon...what do u suggest!
2007-01-29 06:08:40 · 19 answers · asked by niks 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk to your parents abt the guy.... Let ur parents visit his house or somehow make both of your parents meet... one both agree ( and i c no point y they should not agree) get engaged and then wait till ur BF completes his 2 year course.... Then get married....
2007-02-01 23:47:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not put my life on hold for him for two years. I don't know how long you have been dating, but if you plan on getting married, why not do it now and go with him to his schooling? I worry that he has not told his parents about you though. If you are in a commited relationship, wouldn't he tell everybody?
Who cares what your parents want, it is not about them. I know that sounds cold, but they should not push you into a lousy marriage. You are an adult now and they need to respect that. You should get married when you are ready and when you have found someone who is ready and is the right person to marry. You are only 24, you still have plenty of time to get married.
The problem with waiting for 2 years is that you can both change in that time, being away from each other. If you are married you will change together. If you feel that it is not right to get married right now, then remain freinds, see each other when he is in town, but you should each date other people as well. If you are still together and still feel the same way after he gets back, then you know that you really have something. Why are you worried about him breaking your trust? If he has not given you a reason to doubt him, why should you start now? If you can't trust him now, then it is best to not stay together anyway.
2007-01-29 14:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't rush into marriage you have your whole life in front of you and you are still really young. Also, why cant you go with him, is it a job or school well last time I looked you can get a job anywhere and go to school anywhere. Go out an live a little, if you are worried about being away from your family move back in 2 years. Who's to say he will move back in 2 years anyway, he might find a job somewhere else, either way you should decide if you are ready to make that kind of commitment. I could not imagine wanting to marry someone, but be willing to just let them go somewhere for 2 years and not ask or want to go with them. If my wife asked me to move to china tomorrow I would start packing my bags and she would do the same for me, that's what married life is. So you and he need to decide if you are serious and one way to do that would be to go with him for the next two years and see if he is the one for you. Dont let age be a determining factor with marriage or you will end up divorced.
2007-01-29 14:22:35 · answer #3 · answered by simsad31 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really does not matter what your parents want you to do because ulitmately you are the one who has to live with the decision that you make good or bad. I get that you respect your parents decision but they are not in the relationship. If your partner is going a way for 2 years then you have to ask yourself do you want a long distant relationship. Do you trust your partner fully? Because, as you know where there is no trust there is no relationship. Why don't you put things on hold (marriage part) until he finishes school and then see where things go from there. That way you have time to seriously think about what you want to do and he can do the same. It could even make you two closer.
2007-01-29 14:19:28 · answer #4 · answered by Peaches 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really know the answer. You should get married and go with him wherever he is going to pursue the course.
We are living in an era where trust, unfortunately, is not a constant value. And mind you, we can blame nobody. If he is attracted to another woman while he is away, then there is nothing we can blame him for. And who knows, even you might come across a better man during the time your boyfriend is away. So, when you know that you two are in a strong relationship for a year, why do you think you should wait ?
Moreover, your parents are willing to get you married. And then, you already have a bad experience in the past. So, do not take chances with your heart -or his for that matter.
Wish you the best !
2007-01-29 14:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by Cyphor 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont rush things. if u want to wait then wait. and if u are constantly thinking that a guy will break ur trust then in most cases it will. honey you get married when YOU AND ONLY YOU feels its rite. ur the one getting married not ur parents. u have to give this relationship a chance we cant always look back at r past. trust me been there done that. every guy i was with before my husband always broke my trust. and when things got serious with my husband i was really scared and almost lost him but i finally looked at my husband and told him i was scared of losing him the way i did the others and he said he wasnt going anywhere that there wasnt any where else hed rather be and he helped me get that trust back..
so my suggestion talk to him let him no ur feelings and go from there.
my suggestion about ur parents? TELL THEM TO BUTT OUT its ur life and ull get married when the time is right.
2007-01-29 14:21:57 · answer #6 · answered by mommie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'd say ywo yearsis long enough period. if you can get married b4 he leaves, that shud be gud. Becoz u never know, in those two years, he may find sumbody else or he may becum practical as he's more qualified now & so like these things. Its better to tell him, now or never. Tell him u can take care of urself & u wont be any kind of liability like this for next two-three yaers, if he s thinking that way.
As far as parents are concerned, just tell them, u'll marry, whenever u ll feel like & thats the way to lie life.
2007-01-29 21:48:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you get married before he leaves? Can you go with him to wherever he is goin? Have you talked to him about your concerns? What were his reactions? How often will you see him in those two years?
You need to talk about this with you fiance - not us... Based on the discussion and his answers, look at your feelings and if you comfortable, stay with him. If you believe him, stay with him. But if you have any doubts, then you need to really consider whether this is what you want... Do you want to be questioning him for two years out of your life? It can be torture..
2007-01-29 14:18:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years is a very long time to remain seperated. Only strong lovers will be able to unite together
2007-02-02 02:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by anand_e_j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get engaged in presence of both the families & all relatives before he leaves .so some hope will be there & you can wait for him.
2007-01-29 15:11:28 · answer #10 · answered by bird 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋